Team-by-team breakdown from a Husker fan:
Wisconsin - rough, hazing entry into the Big Ten. Your fans were asshats, your team was very good, and we played like a bunch of incompetents. Still, your mercenary QB Russell Wilson won't be here next year, and while your road-grader O Line and your fantastic RB will, things will be different next October. But we'll still tailgate with you. Bring some brats.
Ohio State - My God, your fans are freakin' awesome. And I'm not just saying that for rep, so don't give me any if you think I am. Was VERY happy to meet every last person from Ohio State that came to Lincoln, and I'm very proud to be in the same conference as you. Ohio State & OSU Fan are why we came to the Big Ten. You showed it was not a mistake. As for the game.... we all know what happened. Next year with tUM and an experienced Braxton Miller, playing in The Shoe.... let's just say I'm a little concerned. But I'll sell a kidney to make it to C-Bus. Should be a hell of a game.
Minnesota - It was real, it was fun, but I can't say it was real fun playing you. You were admirable hosts, you were game competitors, but it wasn't much of a game. I don't anticipate much of a game in the future, either. Love your coach, love your stadium but... it is what it is. We'll be evening the all-time series in 2019.
Michigan State - I know that wasn't your best shot. But this is what we intend to do to you for the next umpteen years. Get used to it. Your fans are first-class, including your alumni starting Center from lord-knows-how-long-ago who tailgated next to us and who was a first-rate guy. Sparty is a good, fun opponent. Here's to a healthy rivalry in years to come. You're welcome in Lincoln any time. You had damned well better represent the Legends Division in the BTCG.
Northwestern - the last two times we've played you, the score has been 66-17 and 25-28. Guess which of those will be the norm from here on out? We weren't focusing on you. We played a half-assed game, and you showed us you can't be overlooked. Guess what? We won't overlook you in Evanston next year. May God have mercy on your soul. PS - send some fans to Lincoln in 2013. We're pretty hospitable. Really.
Penn State - We shared a bond that goes beyond football before the game this year. God help you on the rough journey you're going to be taking over the next several months. You showed that, when partisan feelings are set aside for the greater good, that you are every bit the classy fans that any team could hope to have. Please do your best to remember that we were respectful in your time of vulnerability when we come back to Happy Valley in 2013. And here's to hoping that Happy Valley is, once again, happy when we return.
Michigan - Fuck TSUN.
No, seriously. We have no animosity towards you. In fact, we owe you an apology for playing like a bunch of junior college retreads in Ann Arbor. Brady Hoke may be a cross between the Pillsbury Doughboy and Darrell Hammond's version of Bill Clinton, but all BS aside, you kicked our butts thanks to Dennard Robinson. The guy is freakin' legit, and you deserve props for taking us to the woodshed. We'll do our best to show you our version of D-Rob next year, in all his glory.
Iowa - the brother we never wanted. The rivalry that isn't. The home of the superficial Heroes Trophy for the next ten years, Lincoln, was hospitable to you, but not your team. Expect this to continue next year, the year after that, and the year after that. Hell, expect it for the next decade, and you won't be surprised. We were deflated, we weren't interested, we were demoralized, and we still beat you by 13 points. Enjoy the loss - it'll be the closest you come for a while. HOWEVER, I must say that, despite the internet rhetoric, your fans who visited Lincoln were aces. God knows I sat next to enough of you to know. That girl who sat next to me, the Iowa grad from Atlanta, Amber - you can send her back, any time. She was a hell of a lot of fun.
Purdue, Illinois and Indiana - Not much to say. We'll be visiting you all in a couple of years. Expect hell and you won't be surprised. We're not here to make friends. We intend to crush you, see you driven before us, and to hear the lamentation of your women. You've been warned.
Big Ten Officials - You fuckers suck shit. Learn how to call a fucking holding penalty on our opponents. Learn how to call an even game in pass coverage between our defense and our opponents' defenses. You are not the reason we suffered any of our three losses, but you sure as shit didn't help the situation. I have an extra pair of glasses if you want to borrow them. Idiots.
PS - I mean that in the nicest way. Happy holidays to you and your families, zebras.
Big Ten Brass - Thanks for what has turned out to be the most difficult SOS any Big Ten team has faced in the last decade or so. We get it - you don't want the n00bs to win the title in their first year. Or their second - although we'll have something to say about that next year. But remember that you've basically handed us an open door to the BTCG in 2013 and 2014, and again in 2017 and 2018. If we can muster some linemen and CBs, we'll have something to say about who goes to the BTCG in 2015 and 2016, too. Don't think for a second we'll be forgetting how difficult you made this schedule. When it's our time to shine, we will. And we'll be exacting our pound of flesh. Bet on it.
You're in for a rude awakening!
