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Let's hear everyone's M*ch*g*n jokes... (merged)

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One foggy night, a Buckeye fan was heading north from Columbus and a fan was driving south from Ann Arbor. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.

The Michigan fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!" Likewise, the Buckeye fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.

The Wolverine fan walks over to the Buckeye fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals."

The Buckeye fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."

The Buckeye fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Wolverine, "I think this is another sign- we should toast to our newfound friendship." The Wolverine fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Wolverine fan hands it back to the Buckeye fan and says, "Your turn!"

The Buckeye fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."


GO BUCKS!!
 
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Funny story...

One foggy night, a Buckeye fan was heading north from Columbus and a Michigan fan was driving south from Ann Arbor. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.

The Michigan fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!" Likewise, the Buckeye fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.

The Wolverine fan walks over to the Buckeye fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals."

The Buckeye fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."

The Buckeye fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Wolverine, "I think this is another sign- we should toast to our newfound friendship." The Wolverine fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Wolverine fan hands it back to the Buckeye fan and says, "Your turn!"

The Buckeye fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."
 
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A highly recruited high school football player was visiting schools to try and find the best college for him.

His first stop was at Texas. When he got there, Mack Brown immediately picked up a golden telephone. After talking several minutes, he said, "Thank you, God" and hung up.

This shocked the young man. He asked the coach what was so special about
the golden phone. "Well, this phone is a direct line to God. And God tells
us whether or not new recruits would be stars at our university.

The athlete asked if he could use the phone to ask God what college he
should pick "Sure, you can! But it's going to cost you $1,000.
Calling Heaven ain't cheap."

The fellow didn't have that kind of money, so he moved along.

His next stop was Michigan .

Upon entering Lloyd Carr's office, Coach Carr immediately picked up a
golden telephone. After talking several minutes, he said, "Thank you, God"
and hung up.

The boy said, "Hey, I've seen those phones before.
Can I use yours to call God and ask what college I should pick?"

Lloyd said, "Sure, but it's going to cost you $750.
Calling Heaven isn't cheap.."

Again, not having that kind of money, the lad left.

His last stop was in Columbus , Ohio .

Upon arrival at the office, Coach Tressel picked up a golden telephone,
talked to God, and said, "Thanks," and hung up.

The boy just had to use that phone, so he said, "Coach, I really need to
use that golden telephone so I can call God and ask him which college I
should choose.

From Texas it was going to cost me $1000.

From Michigan they wanted $750.

So how much will it cost me to call Heaven from here in Columbus ?"

The coach smiled and said, "Nothing, son. It's a local call."​
 
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FKAGobucks877;94691; said:
A rabid Buckeye fan enjoys scaring the bejesus out of every mishitgan fan that he sees. While driving down the road, anytime he sees a pedestrian attired in smelly mishitgan garb, he swerved his car at them, only yanking the wheel at the last minute to avoid hitting them.

One day, while driving along, he saw a priest walking down the road. Being a charitable human being, he stopped to offer the priest a lift. Once they were underway, a couple of miles down the road, the man saw a mishitgan fan walking along the side of the road. Out of instinct, he swerved towards the scummer, only to pull back at the last second. Just as he yanked the wheel to correct his course, however, he heard a loud thump. Looking in his rearview mirror (at one of the most beautiful sights he had ever seen, by the way), he apologized to the priest, "I'm sorry, father, I think I just ran over that mishitgan fan." The priest replied, "No, actually, you were going to miss him, but I got him with the door."
Click to expand...
Now that was hilarious :biggrin:

:oh: :io:
 
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We Ohio State fans amuse ourselves by scaring every Michigan fan we see
strutting down the street with that obnoxious maze & blue "M" on his
shirt. We would swerve our vans as if to hit them, and then swerve back
just missing them.

One day, while driving along, I saw a priest. I thought I would do a
good deed so I pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going,
Father?"

"I'm going to give mass at St. Francis Church, about 2 miles down the
road," replied the ! priest.

"Climb in, Father! I'll give you a lift!"

The priest climbed into the rear passenger seat, and we continued down
the road. Suddenly, I saw a Michigan fan walking down the road, with
that "M" shirt on. I instinctively swerved as if to hit him. But, as
usual, I swerved back into the road just in time. Even though I was
certain that I had missed the guy, I still heard a loud "THUD."

Not understanding where the noise came from, I glanced in my mirrors
but still didn't see anything. I then remembered the priest, and turned
to the priest and said, "Sorry Father, I almost hit that Michigan fan."

"That's OK," replied the priest, "I got him with the door."
 
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A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Michigan fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Michigan fans too.

Wanting the teacher, of course, to like them and not really knowing what a Michigan fan was, hands fly into the air.

There is one exception. A little girl named Jane did not go along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.

Because I am not a Michigan fan, she reports. The teacher asks her ?what are you then?

Well, she says, My mom is a Buckeye fan and my dad is a Buckeye fan so I am a buckeye fan.

The teacher being a little red faced, asks, ? what if your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would you be then?

Jane smiles and says ?then I?d be a Michigan fan?.
 
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