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2023 tCun Shenanigans, Arguments, Cobras, Feckless Marmots, Fake Pandas, Dirty Cheaters

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Here are the problems with punishing Michigan:

If Michigan forfeits the remainder of the season, then it's a money problem – TV networks will lose product, ad revenues, and ratings, and Penn State and Maryland will lose home gate receipts.

If Michigan plays the remainder of the season without penalty, then it's an integrity problem – with all of the malfeasors (except Porn Name Marine) still in place, then the Big Ten cannot guarantee fair competition in Michigan games. This result will also not please the networks, who have paid to broadcast football games not pro wrestling matches.

If Michigan plays the remainder of the season with penalties, then it's a quality problem – if the entire coaching staff is immediately fired and the team is ineligible for postseason, then players will hit the portal or sit out of games to protect their draft status. By the time The Game rolls around, mighty Michigan might look more like a MAC team, and that wouldn't be much good for either ratings or integrity of competition.

It's quite the conundrum, so I vote for Fuck Michigan. The Big Ten should force them to forfeit the remainder of the season; mete out other penalties (vacating games, scholarship losses, show cause orders) down the road, and do whatever it can to mitigate the losses of their television partners.

Forefiting is the right call and after having two fair contests stolen from us in '21 and '22 plus the ducked game of '20, I would gladly take a free win over those pricks.

I think it could be paramount for our players' health and safety as well. I feel that an immediate post-season ban is all but guaranteed. Certainly, a lot of their players planning on entering the NFL Draft (whether by running out of eligibility or declaring early) would elect to sit out the rest of the season. But any player who is a borderline NFL prospect or wants to use the rest of the season to showcase their talents for the transfer portal is not to be trusted! If they're the types who'll remove shoes when the game/season is still in the balanced, then I'd expect nothing but dirty plays if they know that it's their final game of the season and against a hated rival and nothing to lose.
 
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Is quality a problem, though? Let's say they gut the ttun coaching staff. Will people tune in to see the cheaters justice on the field? I say absolutely. scUM just positioned themselves as the most loathed program in the country. This scandal is being discussed on every message board. Every fanbase is outraged. It's the #1 talking point on every pregame show. They've made themselves the Bishop Sycamore of CFB. People will tune in to see them get their comeuppance.

This is my position. I’m here for it.
 
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