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ScriptOhio
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
WORST FIRST DATE STORY EVER
If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope
you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably
the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have
all had bad dates but this takes the cake.
Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most
embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner
described her worst first date experience.
There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took
the prize!
She said it was midwinter...Snowing and quite cold... and
the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt
Lake City , Utah ..
It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers,
after all, and had never met before. The outing was fun but
relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that
afternoon.
They were driving back down the mountain, when she
gradually began to realize that she should not have had that
extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with
a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion
suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.
Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going,
there came a point where she told him that he had better
stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the
front seat of his car.
They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car,
yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she
didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest
against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion
stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed
was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she
could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather
embarrassing nature of the situation.
Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another
sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady
discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the
car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles
immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her
flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she
had a brand new problem, due to the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the
moment, she answered her date's concerns about' what
is taking so long' with a reply that indeed, she was
'freezing her butt off' and in need of some
assistance! He came around the car as she tried to cover
herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly
into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the
giggles and when they finally managed
to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.
Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also
were faced with a real problem.
Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly
cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what
had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both
quickly realized that there was only one way to get her
free. So, as she looked the other way, her first time date
proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the
fender.
As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight
Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be 'pants
down. 'And you thought your first date was embarrassing.
Jay Leno's comment...'This gives a whole new meaning
to being [censored]ed off.'
Oh and how did the first date turn out? He became her
husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.
If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope
you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably
the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have
all had bad dates but this takes the cake.
Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most
embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner
described her worst first date experience.
There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took
the prize!
She said it was midwinter...Snowing and quite cold... and
the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt
Lake City , Utah ..
It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers,
after all, and had never met before. The outing was fun but
relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that
afternoon.
They were driving back down the mountain, when she
gradually began to realize that she should not have had that
extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with
a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion
suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.
Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going,
there came a point where she told him that he had better
stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the
front seat of his car.
They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car,
yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she
didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest
against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion
stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed
was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she
could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather
embarrassing nature of the situation.
Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another
sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady
discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the
car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles
immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her
flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she
had a brand new problem, due to the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the
moment, she answered her date's concerns about' what
is taking so long' with a reply that indeed, she was
'freezing her butt off' and in need of some
assistance! He came around the car as she tried to cover
herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly
into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the
giggles and when they finally managed
to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.
Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also
were faced with a real problem.
Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly
cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what
had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both
quickly realized that there was only one way to get her
free. So, as she looked the other way, her first time date
proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the
fender.
As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight
Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be 'pants
down. 'And you thought your first date was embarrassing.
Jay Leno's comment...'This gives a whole new meaning
to being [censored]ed off.'
Oh and how did the first date turn out? He became her
husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.
Upvote
0
Mac
That's a pain in the buns
ScriptOhio;1378226; said:If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope
you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably
the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have
all had bad dates but this takes the cake.
Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most
embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner
described her worst first date experience.
There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took
the prize!
She said it was midwinter...Snowing and quite cold... and
the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt
Lake City , Utah ..
It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers,
after all, and had never met before. The outing was fun but
relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that
afternoon.
They were driving back down the mountain, when she
gradually began to realize that she should not have had that
extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with
a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion
suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.
Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going,
there came a point where she told him that he had better
stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the
front seat of his car.
They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car,
yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she
didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest
against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion
stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed
was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she
could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather
embarrassing nature of the situation.
Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another
sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady
discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the
car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles
immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her
flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she
had a brand new problem, due to the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the
moment, she answered her date's concerns about' what
is taking so long' with a reply that indeed, she was
'freezing her butt off' and in need of some
assistance! He came around the car as she tried to cover
herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly
into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the
giggles and when they finally managed
to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.
Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also
were faced with a real problem.
Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly
cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what
had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both
quickly realized that there was only one way to get her
free. So, as she looked the other way, her first time date
proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the
fender.
As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight
Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be 'pants
down. 'And you thought your first date was embarrassing.
Jay Leno's comment...'This gives a whole new meaning
to being [censored]ed off.'
Oh and how did the first date turn out? He became her
husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.
That's awesome!!!
Upvote
0
Gatorubet
Loathing All Things Georgia
"No, you stupid deaf, bitch...I said PRISON TALK DOT COM, JEESUS DO I HAVE TO CARVE IT IN YOUR FACE!!!!........so anyway, that's a really good way you can reach me, since I had to trade my cellphone for this HiPoint."
"So I said: Nooooooooo... "pie" are.....round. Get it?"
"Lord Digoth the Destroyer will emerge from the realm through the crystal sphere - and the non-believers will run wailing before the lash of the chosen one...in accordance with the prophesy!!! So - no - there is no need to pay for a dessert when complete digestion is not possible temporally."
"I gave the facts and proved the logic why Nader is the only viable candidate. You refuse to agree just to annoy me!"
"Oh, oh, oh....and ANOTHER thing that is really great about Tim Tebow...."
"So I said: Nooooooooo... "pie" are.....round. Get it?"
"Lord Digoth the Destroyer will emerge from the realm through the crystal sphere - and the non-believers will run wailing before the lash of the chosen one...in accordance with the prophesy!!! So - no - there is no need to pay for a dessert when complete digestion is not possible temporally."
"I gave the facts and proved the logic why Nader is the only viable candidate. You refuse to agree just to annoy me!"
"Oh, oh, oh....and ANOTHER thing that is really great about Tim Tebow...."
Upvote
0
"My great great uncle Clifford Heffelfinger (#45) played at OSU in 1939. And my cousin Evan Jablonka (#84) plays right now. Anyway, I read if you're related to somebody who has played at Ohio State, they will put you on their practice squad. But that doesn't mean you'll dress for the games though. When I go to Ohio State to major in Sports Journalism, this is what I am going to do. I won't stop there, because I will try to dress and make the team."
Upvote
0
gemsweater
I take pride in not being a waste of space.
NFBuck;1383796; said:
On my first date ever I sneezed and farted at the same time. My date said those exact words to me.
"Uhhh no! I sneezed."
Upvote
0
generaladm
Legend
True story from a friend of mine:
When he was in HS, he was heading to pick up a girl for their first date. The girl was jewish (he wasn't), and went to his school, though they didn't have any classes together. As he was walking up to her door, he realized he couldn't remember her last name, so he looked to see if it was on the doormat. When her father opened the door, my friend stuck out his hand and said, "Hello, Mr. Shalom. My name's Rob, I'm here to pick up your daughter."
When he was in HS, he was heading to pick up a girl for their first date. The girl was jewish (he wasn't), and went to his school, though they didn't have any classes together. As he was walking up to her door, he realized he couldn't remember her last name, so he looked to see if it was on the doormat. When her father opened the door, my friend stuck out his hand and said, "Hello, Mr. Shalom. My name's Rob, I'm here to pick up your daughter."
Upvote
0
DaytonBuck
I've always liked them
I usually prefer Asian identical twins will generally get things off on the wrong foot
Upvote
0
mercer_buckeye
Hall of Fame
BUCKYLE;1383784; said:
BUCKYLE you are the pinnacle of just-to-muchery.
Upvote
0
