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"Let's put it this way: I've never been convicted of date rape. That reminds me, I need to make sure my attorney is in town, and then I'll get you a drink."
"I don't know about you, but it's been my experience that the times I knew I was really in love, and had made a true connection with a woman, was when she did ass-to-mouth"
Some good ideas and descriptions. Maybe go easy on some of the adjectives. A story runs on its narration, you could try and make the narration flow. At some points it seems akwardly surreal..... but thats just my opinion... keep up the writing! good luck