Floating a script for a potential "Saturdays With Joe," sitcom based on life on a mythical college campus in rural Pennsylvania
"Coach, I just got off the phone with the BoT and Cocker Spaniel.  You have to fire Jerry."
"Fire my DC? Are they crazy, why would I want to fire my DC?"
"You don't want to know. Just fire him."
"OK, if that's the case, I'll fire him. I mean he's only been on my staff like forever. We raised our kids together, had 'em over for dinner, and now I got to fire him.  This better be a very damn good reason that I don't want to know."
"My lips are hermetically sealed, Coach, but believe me, you don't want to know."
"OK, but can I let him hang around the place?  Can he use the facilities and get some sideline passes?  I mean the guy put in a lot of years here."
Is this the sort of script the tinfoil hat brigade expects to DISCOVER, when they find the FACTS?