Headlines You Don't See Every Day (outside of Florida)

[maximumblitz]

Giant, runaway snowball slams into college dorm in Portland, Ore., no injuries
Published February 14, 2014
Associated Press
PORTLAND, Ore. – Two math majors at Reed College lost control of a massive snowball that rolled into a dorm, knocking in part of a bedroom wall ....

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2014/02/1...-in-portland-ore-no-injuries/?intcmp=obinsite

 

[scarletmike]

Where's the picture (on the article, can't believe they don't have one)? I really want to see how big an 800lb snowball is.

 

[ScriptOhio]

Sports Headlines:

 

[LostLassie]

Where's the picture (on the article, can't believe they don't have one)? I really want to see how big an 800lb snowball is.

Here ya' go...

College officials say the ball was some 40 inches in diameter and weighed from 800 to 900 pounds. “It was a big snowball,” says
maintenance manager Steve Yeadon.

It was this last photo that really struck me:



I think it kinda begs to be the subject of a caption contest. I'll start:

PS I give it 2 months, tops--SyFy Channel will have a new TV movie out about giant, people-eating snowballs. The Blob in Winter. (Too bad Peter O'Toole has passed. He could have dubbed the Blob's voice.)

 

[scarletmike]

Dang, that really is a massive snowball! Kudos to them for actually creating that monster.

 

[ochre]

 

[Jaxbuck]

Anyone have change for a trillion?

Applebee's Wouldn't Give This Guy Change for a Trillion-dollar Bill
After his debit card was declined at Applebee's, a man tried to pay for his solo Valentine's Day lunch with a $1 trillion bill.

But non-trillionaire Michael Williams, 53, failed to convince the staff of the Sumter, South Carolina location that he was actually the richest human being on Earth. They called the police.

Williams was booked on an unrelated contempt of court charge and ordered to pay a $262 fine, preferably using real money.

Sumter police are still investigating the incident.

 

[LostLassie]

Anyone have change for a trillion?

a man tried to pay for his solo Valentine's Day lunch with a $1 trillion bill.

Wonder if his Valentine's Day lunch was with an imaginary date, too?

 

[Mike80]

I guess we know what Tibs is doing these days....

Suspicious Farmer Busts Alleged Cow Porn Ring

Herkimer County, New York (KRON) — Two men are facing criminal charges for allegedly filming porn videos with a farmer’s cows.

The farmer says he grew suspicious when his cows stopped producing as much milk and “seemed anxious.” So he set up a hidden camera to see what was going on in the barn when he wasn’t there.

Authorities say the cameras showed two men breaking into the barn in the middle of the night with a video camera. 35-year old Michael Jones is accused of running the camera while 31-year old Reid Fontaine performed sex acts with the cows.

http://news.kron4.com/news/suspicious-farmer-busts-alleged-cow-porn-ring/

 

[Oh8ch]

@schwab

I can dig it. Plus if his grave is ever uncovered by archaeologists, it's gonna make headlines.

I think his grave is more likely to be uncovered by a down-on-his-luck motorcycle enthusiast before any archaeologist can get to it.

 

[Jaxbuck]

I guess we know what Tibs is doing these days....



http://news.kron4.com/news/suspicious-farmer-busts-alleged-cow-porn-ring/

"seemed anxious"

 

[LostLassie]

Dead Mississippi man begins breathing in embalming room, coroner says

http://www.cnn.com/2014/02/28/us/dead-man-comes-back-life/index.html?sr=fb022814bodybag330p

This is the paragraph in the story that gave me cold chills:

Neither in his 12 years as county coroner nor during his decade as deputy coroner has Howard seen anything like it. Howard was absolutely certain Williams was dead.

Just maybe, it's not the first time in 12 years that he has incorrectly declared someone dead, but the first time in 12 years that one of them managed to create enough of a ruckus in the funeral parlor that they were detected before they were embalmed alive.

 

[BUCKYLE]

Aaaaaawkwaaaaard

 

[TDunk]

Dead Mississippi man begins breathing in embalming room, coroner says

http://www.cnn.com/2014/02/28/us/dead-man-comes-back-life/index.html?sr=fb022814bodybag330p

This is the paragraph in the story that gave me cold chills:



Just maybe, it's not the first time in 12 years that he has incorrectly declared someone dead, but the first time in 12 years that one of them managed to create enough of a ruckus in the funeral parlor that they were detected before they were embalmed alive.

Also look up the reason for the term "Dead Ringer".

 

[ochre]

27 dead in a knife attack