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Headlines You Don't See Every Day (outside of Florida)

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From @Dryden's link above.

:slappy:

“There is always an extra twist of weirdness at the end of the Florida story,” Mr. Hiaasen said. “Weird stories happen everywhere, but they usually come to a logical conclusion. There is always one more shoe that drops in Florida.”

And there is so much more of it in Florida, he added. “It’s not just shooting fish in a barrel,” Mr. Hiaasen said, “but shooting mutated, deranged, slow-moving fish.”

He cited the car thief who had been caught by the police in the parking lot of the Miccosukee Tribe’s casino on the edge of the Everglades. The thief had the bad sense to try to escape by plunging into a pond behind the casino.

“As soon as he hits the water, he gets eaten by an alligator,” Mr. Hiaasen said. “This is the way things must be here.”
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I personally am impressed with the chainsaw story. Sticking that down your pants and riding a bike!? That takes balls, and a lot of luck to not get them cut off!

EDIT: Disney alone is a magnet for mentally unstable people, so you combine that with the drugs in Miami, and the rednecks and hicks you find in the central and northern part of the state...man, talk about a recipe for crazy!
 
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Couple Arrested For Selling “Golden Tickets To Heaven”


His Police Statement:
I don’t care what the police say. The tickets are solid gold… it ain’t cut up two by fours I spray painted gold. And it was Jesus who give them to me behind the KFC and said to sell them so I could get me some money to go to outer space. I met an alien named Stevie who said if I got the cash together he’d take me and my wife on his flying saucer to his planet that’s made entirely of crack cocaine. You can smoke all the crack cocaine there you want… totally free. So, try to send an innocent man to jail and see what happens. You should arrest Jesus because he’s the one that gave me the golden tickets and said to sell them. I’m willing to wear a wire and set Jesus up…
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Only in Michigan....:biggrin:

Giggles The Pig Runs For Mayor Against 2 Convicted Felons

o-GIGGLES-570.jpg


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/05/16/giggles-the-pig_n_7293404.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news
 
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State lawmaker defends bike tax, says bicycling is not good for the environment
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Posted on March 2, 2013 by Tom Fucoloro



Representative Ed Orcutt (R – Kalama) does not think bicycling is environmentally friendly because the activity causes cyclists to have “an increased heart rate and respiration.”

This is according to comments he made in an email to a constituent who questioned the wisdom of a new bike tax the legislature is considering as part of a large transportation package.

We spoke with Rep. Orcutt to confirm the email’s authenticity and to get further clarification.

“You would be giving off more CO2 if you are riding a bike than driving in a car,” he said. However, he said he had not “done any analysis” of the difference in CO2 from a person on a bike compared to the engine of a car (others have).

“You can’t just say that there’s no pollution as a result of riding a bicycle.”
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Next they will make a tax on sex.

http://www.seattlebikeblog.com/2013...not-good-for-the-environment-should-be-taxed/
 
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