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Headlines You Don't See Every Day (outside of Florida)

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TPD at it again.....

According to the sources, Johnson was involved in an argument with the woman after she cut in front of him while they were waiting to order drinks at a bar near the FSU campus. Witnesses told police the woman raised her arms and then Johnson grabbed them and punched her in the face.

Johnson, from First Coast High School in Jacksonville, Florida, has not been charged with a crime. Police did not interview Johnson on Wednesday night because he had left the bar. Tallahassee attorney Tim Jansen, who has represented FSU student-athletes in the past, told ESPN.com on Thursday that he was unaware of the incident.

A Tallahassee Police Department spokesman sent a heavily redacted incident report to ESPN.com on Thursday. The incident report redacted the alleged suspect's name and a witness' name. The woman's name was not redacted.
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blyor1zfeudk78c1vass.jpg
 
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"He removed his shirt, removed his billfold ... someone shouted a warning and he said 'blank the alligators' and jumped in to the water and almost immediately yelled for help," Price said.
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:slappy:

blank the alligators he says

Actually shocked this wasn't a floridian american
 
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Saw31 said:
Blank Me? No, Blank You!</alligator>

I'm gonna yell "Fuck the alligators" every time I do a shot tonight. I ain't jumpin' in no water though. That's just stupid...
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you're fine jumping in water, just watch out for the alligator infested water........whatever you do I hope you have the good godamn sense to remove your billfold
 
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Jagdaddy said:
Also, barring some as-yet unknown Wile E. Coyote-level [Mark May], I would think that this guy is the front-runner for the 2015 Darwin Award.
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Jaxbuck said:
Blank the fireworks I guess

http://time.com/3945926/fourth-of-july-fireworks-death-maine/

Maine Man Dies in Fourth of July Fireworks Accident

Devon Staples, 22, was killed instantly in Calais, Maine, after he put a fireworks mortar on his head...........
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Didn't take long for the Wile E. Coyote-level [Mark May], did it? Was actually coming here to post that story but you beat me to it.

Actually, I still give gator guy the Darwin because his death wasn't instant.
 
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