OCBuckWife
I am the evil monkey in your closet
KING;1467574; said:
If you are going to fish at least buy your own bait, don't reuse someone else's worm.
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If you are going to fish at least buy your own bait, don't reuse someone else's worm.
OCBuckWife
I am the evil monkey in your closet
Gatorubet;1467384; said:
Actually, although I wouldn't have said it that way, I tend to agree there. Having children is a responsibility. Making the decision to have kids comes with accepting the consequences of having a life in your hands and all that comes with being able to grow that life right. Including making sure you are financially stable enough to provide all of the things a growing life needs, hopefully without relying on other more responsible people to help you do that, at least not for very long.
I won't deny there are lots of women, and men, making that choice irresponsibly but being a single parent doesn't automatically mean the person is irresponsible.
And the ignorant thought process that includes the idea that it's only women who are being "knuckleheads" about it is what I objected to. That was said purely to offend in a forum space where it was sure to get maximum exposure and therefore it was rude and uncalled for.
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stxbuck
Woody wore Sambas
FeistyRedHeadAZ;1467533; said:If more daddies would stop chasing the next piece of tail, and actually be an active and financially responsible figure in their child[rens] lives, most of this problem could be solved, so if you are not just bitching and want to be part of the solution, tell your buddy who knocked a girl up and bounced to man up the PAY up, that is how you can do your part.
But the women are knuckleheads? Really?
I agree w/ your post, deadbeat dads are a large part of the problem.
That said, women-of any age and socio-cultural background need to realize that biologically-they are the ones who are going to pay the cost of raising the child. Is that fair-no, but mother nature is the one you need to complain to. Deadbeat dads should be pursued to the ends of the earth to meet their financial-and hopefully familial obligations, BUT if women make the conscious decision to hook up with a loser, they need to realize that the consequences will unfairly fall on them.
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MaxBuck
SoCal, Baby!
Regardless of your sex, and without passing judgment on the parenting performance of any individuals, it seems like any informed person has to see that an increase in out-of-wedlock children is a bad thing for our society. I really don't see what name-calling accomplishes; it simply obscures this very important fact: children of single-parent families do not thrive in life as do the children of more traditional families, statistically speaking.
I think it would be a very good thing if our nation could find appropriate means to encourage women not to bear children out of wedlock, without creating new burdens on those women who, for one reason or another, are single moms. There are no trivial solutions to this problem, obviously.
I think it would be a very good thing if our nation could find appropriate means to encourage women not to bear children out of wedlock, without creating new burdens on those women who, for one reason or another, are single moms. There are no trivial solutions to this problem, obviously.
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OCBuckWife
I am the evil monkey in your closet
MaxBuck;1467753; said:
I'm interested in why it is that you feel that out of wedlock must also mean single parent? It seems to me that is an erroneous assumption.
The article makes a point of saying
Yes, the other posts in this thread did tend toward the same statement but the article does not state that out of wedlock ipso facto means one parent. It's point is how many parents are deciding that marriage itself is less and less important and/or a popular a state of affairs, so to speak.
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BigWoof31
"Barkin' up the wrong tree"
Taosman;1467797; said:
Depends on how you look at it I guess. There are some people whose message travels farther and carries greater weight because they've made a mistake and they want to caution others against doing the same thing.
The rapper T-I went and spoke to 10 high and middles schools in the Atlanta area about the dangers of gang lifestyle and he was resoundingly applauded for his efforts (and had his sentence commuted).
When I was in high school, prior to prom we had a young man come speak to us in the auditorium about the dangers of drinking and driving (as he had killed his date in an accident 3 years earlier.
Bristol is a young mother and she's probably realizes how much it sucks and how much she's missing out because of her child. I think that makes her an effective communicator on why you should seriously consider having a baby out of wedlock. The "don't be like me" message is almost always effective.
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OCBuckWife
I am the evil monkey in your closet
jwinslow;1467768; said:
Honestly, marriage is grounded in religious beliefs that I don't hold. It is also very much a legal issue as well, however, with very many rights allowed to wedded spouses that are not always accorded to unwedded couples. If a couple has a child, and lives as a couple, even if they are not married, I don't see the issue. I don't feel taking part in a part religious, part legal rights, ritual is required to make a stable, bonded family unit. What is required is two loving, committed, responsible adults.
I had a stepdad all my life, from age 5, until he died long after I had left the house. It was as traditional and stable a "nuclear family" unit as any other, yet my mother and my stepdad never married until late in life when it became necessary for him to do so to fight some child visitation issues regarding his own children.
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