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- Thread starter NJ-Buckeye
- Start date
What's your name
A man scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive woman standing alone. He approached her and asked her name.
"My name is Carmen," she told him.
"That's a beautiful name," he said. "Is it a family name?"
"No," she replied. "I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most, cars and men."
"What's your name?" she asked.
"Beertits," he said
A man scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive woman standing alone. He approached her and asked her name.
"My name is Carmen," she told him.
"That's a beautiful name," he said. "Is it a family name?"
"No," she replied. "I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most, cars and men."
"What's your name?" she asked.
"Beertits," he said
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LoKyBuckeye
I give up. This board is too hard to understand.
An 80 year old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up. The
doctor asked him how he was feeling and the 80-year-old said "Things
are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is
pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that?"
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began.
"I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never
misses a season. One day when he was setting off hunting, he was in a
bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his
gun.
As he neared a lake he came across a very large male beaver sitting at
the water's edge. He realize! d he'd left his gun at home and so couldn't
shoot the magnificent creature but out of habit he raised his cane,
aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went
'bang, bang'.
Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. Now,
what do you think of that?" asked the doctor.
The 80-year-old said, "If you ask me, I'd say somebody else pumped a
couple of rounds into that beaver."
The doctor replied, "My point exactly."
doctor asked him how he was feeling and the 80-year-old said "Things
are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is
pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that?"
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began.
"I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never
misses a season. One day when he was setting off hunting, he was in a
bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his
gun.
As he neared a lake he came across a very large male beaver sitting at
the water's edge. He realize! d he'd left his gun at home and so couldn't
shoot the magnificent creature but out of habit he raised his cane,
aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went
'bang, bang'.
Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. Now,
what do you think of that?" asked the doctor.
The 80-year-old said, "If you ask me, I'd say somebody else pumped a
couple of rounds into that beaver."
The doctor replied, "My point exactly."
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scarletandgrey
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult!
****You may be from Ohio (pronounced "oh-hi-oh") if:
You know all the 4 seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter and construction.
You live less than 20 miles from some college or university.
You know what a "buckeye" really is, and have a recipe for candy ones, and usually look around when someone says that they have buckeyes.
Michigan usually brings a scowl.
You know if other Ohioans are from southern or northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouths.
You know how to correctly spell Cincinnati.
"Vacation" means going to Florida, Hilton Head, or Florida.
You measure distance in minutes.
Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day, and maybe even use the "defrost" and "A/C" in the same day.
You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?"
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
Drinking beer underage is a weekend ritual.
You carry bungee cords in your car.
You know what "pop" is.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires six pages for sports.
You call it Krogers even though it is Kroger.
Girls wear miniskirts with uggs in the winter and complain of it being too cold outside.
You know someone that has a beat up pick-up truck. You also know someone that has a BMW.
You know where Jerry Springer got his start.
The term "3-way" refers to spagghetti topped with chili and cheese.
It can hit 40 degrees in the winter and people can be seen wearing sunglasses and t-shirts.
You know all the 4 seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter and construction.
You live less than 20 miles from some college or university.
You know what a "buckeye" really is, and have a recipe for candy ones, and usually look around when someone says that they have buckeyes.
Michigan usually brings a scowl.
You know if other Ohioans are from southern or northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouths.
You know how to correctly spell Cincinnati.
"Vacation" means going to Florida, Hilton Head, or Florida.
You measure distance in minutes.
Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day, and maybe even use the "defrost" and "A/C" in the same day.
You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?"
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
Drinking beer underage is a weekend ritual.
You carry bungee cords in your car.
You know what "pop" is.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires six pages for sports.
You call it Krogers even though it is Kroger.
Girls wear miniskirts with uggs in the winter and complain of it being too cold outside.
You know someone that has a beat up pick-up truck. You also know someone that has a BMW.
You know where Jerry Springer got his start.
The term "3-way" refers to spagghetti topped with chili and cheese.
It can hit 40 degrees in the winter and people can be seen wearing sunglasses and t-shirts.
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Every damn one of those are true except the bungee cord one. By the way, where's my beer at?
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Fungo Squiggly
Mortal enemy of all things Bucky
Yahoo Pickem Champ
Former Game Champion
'18 BPCFFB II Champ
'18 Keeper League Champ
We're out. Go pick some more up at Krogers. Do you know where Krogers is at?
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FKAGobucks877
The Most Power-Drunk
Hey, I'm just excited that it's almost Construction, and I can use my AC.
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Yeah, it's just a few minutes up the road. Should I get some pop while I'm out? I better take my sunglasses with me though, it is gonna hit almost 50 today. That reminds me, I need to get some more shorts and tshirts.
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Wha? Did you say that you were selling them this season? Thanks man. I'll get your shipping info and send you all of them. Then you can distribute them as the orders come in. You are a great guy, I don't care what 3yards says about you
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Fungo Squiggly
Mortal enemy of all things Bucky
Yahoo Pickem Champ
Former Game Champion
'18 BPCFFB II Champ
'18 Keeper League Champ
$49.95? Tht's awfully pricey. Perhaps you should give a subtle suggestion that I am getting some kind of great deal.
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LoKyBuckeye
I give up. This board is too hard to understand.
or keep their bumper from falling off.bucks4me said:I know a lot of people that have the bungee cords in their vehicle. They use them to help tie down things they are trying to move.
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