2021 ttun Shenanigans, Arguments, Surrender Cobras, Feckless Marmots, and Quitty Cowards

[Honor&Glory]

Is there a way to make this .gif the official logo of this thread?

it should be the fucking welcome banner to this website

 

[LordJeffBuck]

Is there a way to make this .gif the official logo of this thread?

From now on, just type [:]quitty: without the square brackets and you will get the surrender .gif. It should also be in the Smilies list. EDIT: I put the quitty .gif in the new scUM Smilie directory.

 

[buckeyemania11]

One thing that kind of gets lost amongst all the stupidity in the "Reapers" Tweet is this: scUM is just turning all of their DEs into OLBs (or stand-up EDGE, to use their term). Here are the listed heights and weights for scUM's new OLBs:

Harrell: 6'4" 235 lbs
Ojabo: 6'5" 250 lbs
Upshaw: 6'4" 256 lbs
McGregor: 6'5" 260 lbs
Hutchinson: 6'6" 269 lbs

I'm sure those guys will be able to "play well in space" like, you know, covering running backs and tight ends on pass plays. By way of comparison, Ohio State's LBs range from 6-foot-1 to 6-foot-3 and from 225 pounds to 242 pounds, and, I'm just guessing here, have quite an advantage in overall athleticism.

The best part of scUM's new-fangled (new-mangled?) defense is this: They are going to play with 3 DTs. That's right, a team with zero quality DTs is now going to play three of them in their base defense. scUM's top EIGHT returning DTs have combined CAREER totals of 57 tackles, 3.5 TFLs, and 1.5 sacks. Last year, Ohio State's top three DTs (Togiai, Garrett, Antwuan Jackson) had a combined 54 tackles, 9.5 TFLs, and 6 sacks in just 8 games.

This should be fun to watch.

Yea but they got some random position coach from the Ravens running the show so they are assured to automatically not be shitty.

 

[Zurp]

All I know is they better make a t-shirt.

ORD once knew a guy who started a rally at PSU's campus before he disappeared into the abyss of the internet. (I forget that guy's name, now.) I think some real guy threatened to drive to meet him to beat him up and steal his lunch money.
Anyone who makes a t-shirt for Michigan fans to embrace might win some kind of award, if it can somehow have a hidden troll job included.

 

[colobuck79]

That quitty gif is so juvenile. I would never use it.

 

[LovelandBuckeye]

 

[cincibuck]

One thing that kind of gets lost amongst all the stupidity in the "Reapers" Tweet is this: scUM is just turning all of their DEs into OLBs (or stand-up EDGE, to use their term). Here are the listed heights and weights for scUM's new OLBs:

Harrell: 6'4" 235 lbs
Ojabo: 6'5" 250 lbs
Upshaw: 6'4" 256 lbs
McGregor: 6'5" 260 lbs
Hutchinson: 6'6" 269 lbs

I'm sure those guys will be able to "play well in space" like, you know, covering running backs and tight ends on pass plays. By way of comparison, Ohio State's LBs range from 6-foot-1 to 6-foot-3 and from 225 pounds to 242 pounds, and, I'm just guessing here, have quite an advantage in overall athleticism.

The best part of scUM's new-fangled (new-mangled?) defense is this: They are going to play with 3 DTs. That's right, a team with zero quality DTs is now going to play three of them in their base defense. scUM's top EIGHT returning DTs have combined CAREER totals of 57 tackles, 3.5 TFLs, and 1.5 sacks. Last year, Ohio State's top three DTs (Togiai, Garrett, Antwuan Jackson) had a combined 54 tackles, 9.5 TFLs, and 6 sacks in just 8 games.

This should be fun to watch.

Anyone heard anything lately from The Machete? I think he was going to destroy Troy and Pittman.

 

[Honor&Glory]

testing out the new option courtesy of LJB.

fucking cowards.

 

[DaddyBigBucks]

Just Because

 

[colobuck79]

Does that gif code still work?

 

[BB73]

I give up. Does it?

 

[cincibuck]

Might have to settle for Dildo Duke

Anybody got Howdy Dildo and Buffalo Bob?

 

[Buckeye86]

Apparently even the locals are reporting they look pretty fucking awful this spring.

https://mgoblog.com/content/spring-football-bits-goes-front-big-guy

Overall

It looks great when the quarterbacks execute, and extremely disjointed when they don’t. The defense is either a “work in progress” or “the worst since Rich Rod” depending on if the speaker’s job is to make you feel better, and this tend to come up a lot when they're praising the offense.

Quarterback

What we’re hearing: The spring session ended with Cade McNamara clearly out front, but nobody consistent enough to have a grip on the job. The book on him is he’s “not a great practice quarterback” but the coaches know he’s a gamer.

J.J. McCarthy’s practices have been a lot of freshman stuff mixed in with things that bring up old quarterback greats. The specific great he gets compared to most often is the one coaching him, along with a reminder that Jim Harbaugh redshirted in 1982, flashed as QB3 in 1983, and won the job over bad competition as a redshirt sophomore in 1984. Then 1984 is remembered and we have a sad.

Their probable starter looks like shit in practice but they have confidence things will work out in games.

Their next savior QB would look okay running a mid-80s offense. That seems promising.

Running Backs

What we want to hear: Corum is starring, Edwards is everything we ever dreamed, Haskins didn’t kill anyone but there were some moments we thought he did.

What we’re hearing: Yep, all of that and then some.

A possible bright spot. I’m sure a struggling new QB, a mediocre OL replacing starters, and highly mediocre wide receivers won’t impact their productivity at all.

Wide Receivers

Word is Cornelius Johnson and Mike Sainristil have taken their games up several notches and had separated themselves with Ronnie Bell as the top performers. I’m told “it wasn’t close” and that that trio “is playing at a very high level.” That said, it’s worthy of reiterating that spring depth charts are merely a snapshot of a point in time.

Expectation is Roman Wilson and AJ Henning will make another run at the starters in fall, and of course Xavier Worthy is going to make a dent.

Best case scenario here seems to be three guys capable of playing (based on almost no actual game production, outside of Bell there is 35 catches in four seasons), with two more “pushing” aka maybe being capable of providing depth, and the hope that a true freshman can make an impact.

They seem to be optimistic here (??) in classic DFBIA form.

Tight End

What it means: I can only guess this was Erick All having some struggles in early spring. Emphasis on “guess.” Schoonmaker and Hibner are the only only non-walk-ons so who else could it be.

Three scholarship players on the roster with one struggling and rumored to be thinking about transferring. Seems to be going well.

Offensive Line

Best guess the line starts (left to right): Hayes-Barnhart-Vastardis-Zinter-Stueber, with Jones coming in as a tackle if any of the afore mentioned goes out, and Zinter sliding to center if that’s Vastardis. Keegan is probably next in after that, and then the senior backups if they stick around to be backups.

That’s composite #335, #266, #2937, #265, #365 across the front, all of whom were terrible last year or weren’t better than the terrible starter and the depth is garbage.

But hey, their TE coach is now their OL coach so I’m sure things will work out.

Looking forward to more on the defense, which this group of misfits is apparently making look awful.

 

[colobuck79]

I think it’s cute how the BTN Michigan Football Classic games are against Rutgers because that’s all they can come up with.

 

[buckeyemania11]

What a shocker their RBs look great in practice against a swiss cheese defense