Received this today in an email from my dad. Apparently typed by a scUM fan:
They finally did it. This is the biggie. This is Hudson's
>Building implosion, the Hindenberg, and George Bush 41 puking on the
prime
>minister of Japan all rolled into one. Michigan is now the butt of the
>joke. The punchline. For all eternity. You can replace the "agony of
>defeat" ski jumper wipe-out with the footage of that final field goal
>attempt being blocked by the Appalachian State player's knee cap.
Ralph
>Sampson just sent a thank-you note to Lloyd Carr for replacing the
>University of Virginia basketball loss to Division II Chaminade as the
>biggest gag job in the history of college athletics.
>
>The bubble burst. The balloon popped. The end is here. Michigan fans
have
>been living off of Michigan State's back to back losses to Central
>Michigan for two decades. Not anymore. It's all gone now. There is no
>redemption. The season is over. Spare me the "If they run the table,
they
>can still get in a BCS bowl game." The only table this team can run is
at
>Old Country Buffet. I had a feeling an 8-4 regular season was on its
way,
>I just didn't know one of the losses would be to the State College of
>Beauty.
>
>What's sad is the Michigan apologists like Bob Wojnowski still will
not
>admit that the game has passed Lloyd Carr by. It's so obvious that
>Wojnowksi is just a vulture waiting for Carr to retire so that he can
>co-write his memoirs like that weasel Mitch Albom did for Bo
Schembechler.
>Wojo can't criticize Carr because he's afraid to make him angry and
lose
>the future book deal. NEWS FLASH: THE GAME HAS NOT PASSED LLOYD CARR
BY,
>IT HAS LAPPED HIM TWICE AND IS RIGHT BACK IN HIS REVIEW VIEW MIRROR
WITH
>ITS BLINKER ON. It is self evident. Anyone who denies that is an idiot
>and immediately loses all credibility on any opinion related to sports
for
>the rest of their life. It's done. Get it? The argument is over. He
>cannot coach. He is incompetent. He stinks. There are High School JV
>coaches with more ability than him.
>
>I spent Saturday afternoon canoeing the Huron River with my family. I
>wouldn't have watched the game even if Comcast and the Big Ten Network
had
>worked out a deal. I had no idea what was going on until by Dad called
me
>on my cell phone and asked me if I heard what happened. By the tone of
his
>voice I knew what he meant. "Did they lose?" I asked. "Not yet, but
>they're going to," he replied. I almost dropped my phone in the river.
>
>Before I even watched the highlights and the interviews on the news
>Saturday night, I knew I was going to hear the obligatory "We'll find
out
>what this team is made of now." No we won't. We already know what they
>are made of. It's a group of poorly coached, under-achieving, lazy,
cocky
>choke artists. I am sick of that smug smile on Chad Henne's face after
he
>completes a pass. HEY LOSER! TRY WINNING A BIG GAME! THEN YOU CAN
SMILE!
>YOUR ARE SUPPOSED TO COMPLETE PASSES, YOU JERK! The next big time play
in
>a big game Henne makes will be his first.
>
>There are two kinds of Michigan football fans. There are the deluded
>faithful that think Michigan is the elite program in college football,
>pointing to the fact that Michigan is the all-time winningest program
and
>clinging to it like a life preserver. That's nice for them, but all
those
>wins in 1887 and '03 against Michigan Normal College and
>Pennsylvania Anatomy School don't really do it for me. Unfortunately,
the
>vast majority fall into that category. Then there is the group to
which I
>belong. The pessimists. We enjoy the wins, but realize they are only a
>brief respite in chain of devastating losses that, like chinese water
>torture, come at unpredictable intervals and inflict irreversible
>psychological damage, until we snap, lose all touch with reality, and
curl
>up in a corner and hum "The Victors" to ourselves for the rest of our
>lives.
>
>I think back to New Year's Day, 1998, when I stood in the bleachers of
the
>Rose Bowl with my father in the fading light of a beautiful a Southern
>California winter afternoon. The Michigan band played in joyous
>celebration. Time was frozen in a moment that felt like it would last
>forever, and we basked in the glory of the greatest win in both of our
>lifetimes. And I realize now it's an illusion, a mirage, fool's gold.
>
>On the bright side, my next eleven Saturday afternoons just became
free.
>Anyone got a tee time?