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Why will you go to hell?

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After hearing that a cheerleader at an area school died in a car wreck, I told a buddy of mine on the coaching staff in a valley girl voice "the truck, was, like, so totally huge". But he laughed, so at least I'll have one drinking buddy in hell w/ me.
 
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Since I've already been in a relationship with one of Satan's minions, I feel confident in saying that all my past transgressions, and some future ones, are already covered...

...and with the personal experience I have with the Demons of Hell, KSB definitely has this to look forward to...:p

hellmouth36jk.jpg

 
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cincibuck said:
Hey, you're not scheduled to do an angiogram tomorrow at Jewish are you? I may want to rethink this.
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*snickers* nope. im one of the techs whose job is to make sure your test results are processed in a timely fashion and are delievered to the proper place securely. (don't know if we support that particular site btw)

no worries, in the situation i mentioned earlier the hospital was getting the patients test results. but because of a code issue the same result was appearing more than once. so it had no correlation to the patients death. though it did annoy the heck out of the nurses. im going to hell because the developer and i made some comments about the patient dieing on us right after we fixed the problem.

ksb, please god tell me you have some type of counter keeping track of how many people actually click on that link.
 
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vrbryant said:
Hell exists. Or rather, it can be created. It's different for every person. For me, it would require being abducted by Mexicans and thrown into a dark, filthy and perpetually damp utility closet in which there would be no room to lay down. Stray cats would be rotated in and out and instructed to scratch my legs and urinate on the wounds. My eyelids would be stapled to my eyebrows, and Joel Schumacher's Batman & Robin would be shown on panoramic screens placed at every conceivable angle with the sound trumpeting in at near-deafening levels. This would go on until I collapsed from exhaustion, at which point I would be nursed back to health by Scarlett Johansson. Any acknowledgement of her presence whatsoever on my part would result in an immediate return to the closet. Presuming medical technology advanced sufficiently during my time there, they would take every measure possible to keep me alive and awake forever and ever.

Oh, and I would only be fed peanut butter sandwiches with no milk.
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You've thought about this before haven't you?
 
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I'm guessing this thread was meant for joking purposes, but I'm going to be serious for a second. I honestly believe that I'm not going to hell, no matter how many dumb things I may have done. Being a Christian, I realize that God forgives me for every stupid, immature, evil thing or thought that has ever crossed my mind.
 
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BCSBust said:
I'm guessing this thread was meant for joking purposes, but I'm going to be serious for a second. I honestly believe that I'm not going to hell, no matter how many dumb things I may have done. Being a Christian, I realize that God forgives me for every stupid, immature, evil thing or thought that has ever crossed my mind.
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Well you better hope that you're on God's good side because you might be pushing that rule.... :biggrin:
 
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I don't think that I'm going because I don't believe it to exist.
If, on the other hand, it does exist, and I end up there due to my--for cultural or personal reasons--not pledging my allegience to the correct sun god, I will take solace in the fact that I will be accompanied by hordes of the allegedly righteous who felt they had a free pass due to their choice of scripture. I think they're in for the bigger shock.
 
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BuckeyeR0B said:
Because I was a Marine for 4 years and Hell is whee Marines belong
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Funny. That's why I tought I was sure to avoid the lake of fire.

"God has a hard on for Marines. Because we kill everything we see."

And the Marine Hymn says I going up:

"If the Army and the Navy ever look on Heaven's scene
They will find the streets are guarded by United States Marines."
 
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StooGrimson said:
I wished cancer on a bitch I work with...and then she got cancer.
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hopefully you don't work with equally thoughtless people.. additionally, hopefully none of your family or loved ones work with equally thoughtless people or you (or a loved one) might be the one on the receiving end of that wish...

didn't your mom ever teach you to be careful what you wish for? You just may be headed for warmer weather.
 
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