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Tiger Woods (Offical Thread)

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Those texts are unreal. Tiger Woods sounds like a horny adolescent with hidden insecurities that rise to the surface now and then. He's on the road to becoming the Michael Jackson of golf. :lol:
 
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tundra1;1616564; said:
Well, the marketing could be great, depending on the resort:

For example...

Hedonism Resort, now with 18 holes designed by Tiger Woods. (It's an actual resort in Jamaica.)

So many potential punchlines...so little time.
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Hedonism isn't big enough for an 18 hole golf course.







:paranoid:

buckiprof;1617561; said:
Too bad that education at a good university didn't help him with basics like do not leave voice mail for one of your mistresses and do not text another mistress.

Now that Cheetah is well onto the back 9, I would like to offer him the following fool-proof two-part program to make this PR nightmare turn in his favor and eventually be a big win for him.

Step 1: Say that you have a big problem, a sex addiction problem. Doesn't matter if you do or do not, just say it. Talk in depth about how you really need help to get this addiction under control. For a sizable portion of this country, this will now be viewed as you had a problem...an addiction....it wasn't really your fault.

Step 2: After some time has passed, then announce that you have found God. Talk about how Jesus helped you deal with your addiction, how you ask the Lord every day to guide you and help you with your problem. Doesn't matter if you have or haven't. For another sizable portion of this country....the ones who can relate to that "stuff"....you are now golden.

Now to make the buckiprof 2 step plan work for Cheetah, he will no longer be able to swear like a sailor on the course. If he finds that that is too difficult, maybe he could add a Step 3 and talk about his battle with Tourette's.:biggrin:
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Oh8ch;1617564; said:
Step 3: Have a woman of color come forward and add her name to the list. Even if she doesn't belong on the list, find one and pay her to say she belongs on the list. And for God's sake make sure this one is hot.
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Step 4: Go on Oprah - With her blessing, you're golden... more in demand than ever.
 
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DaddyBigBucks;1617784; said:
Step 4: Go on Oprah - With her blessing, you're golden... more in demand than ever.
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OK. You guys scare me. Four step plan? Sounds perfect. If he plays it right, he can go on as Oprah's last guest next year with his wife to signal their reunion and healing. It would be one of the most watched programs of all time.

Now, one question. Just how do you guys know so much about this? :biggrin:
 
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BuckNutty;1617677; said:
tiger--300x450.jpg
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:text: Thanks you, Ms. Andrews, for getting back so quickly. Again, it will be an exclusive interview for ESPN. I want it kept hush-hush. In fact, tell no one, even your Producer, as I will provide the recording equipment... To throw the competition off, come dressed like that chick in I Dream of Jeanie and everyone will think it's a costume party. :/text:
 
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BuckNutty;1617677; said:
This picture begs for a caption contest. :lol:

tiger--300x450.jpg
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[text; to Lindsey Lohan or Amy Winehouse] Look, I TOLD you not if you were the LAST woman on earth I haven't had sex with yet...and despite what you may have heard recently, I haven't gone through every other chick yet! Now leave me the fuck alone while I'm at work! [text; to Lindsey Lohan or Amy Winehouse]
 
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"This is no surprise to anyone who knows Tiger," said Ben Crane. "He's a phony and a fake and he can't retain that squeaky-clean endorsement deal any longer."
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Looking like this could be the most interesting scandal in the history of sports.

Well, at least since Tennessee wore cleats that were too long.
 
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Oh8ch;1617564; said:
Step 3: Have a woman of color come forward and add her name to the list. Even if she doesn't belong on the list, find one and pay her to say she belongs on the list. And for God's sake make sure this one is hot.
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This one has been out for a while:

1259847157tiger_blackgirl1.jpg

Now of course, the guy picture is Jamie Fox. She's in the media relations business I guess. Not trash by any means. Anyway her and Tiger supposedly broke it off not too long ago.





































I hate myself for passing that on...yucky.
 
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