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TE Jake Stoneburner (Official Thread)

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http://www.buckeyextra.com/content/stories/2012/06/03/stoneburner-mewhort-are-arrested.html

Stoneburner and Mewhort were found crouching between cars on a parking lot used for the Memorial, but Barnard had to be coaxed out of hiding by the threat of releasing a police dog.
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Really? A police dog? Because some dudes were pissing? I guess this is what happens when you only get to do police things four days a year. I bet they had a lot of fun using the siren and unrolling the crime scene tape too.

I also read somewhere (I thought in this article, maybe it was removed) that they said they considered felony charges because Buford T. Justice fell and broke his thumb while they were in hot pursuit.

This is some of the most overblown crap I've ever seen.
 
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This is just typical Shawnee Hills cops. They are douchebags. They pulled me over one time as I was passing through their 1/2 mile jurisdiction because they thought I was stalking someone. Yea, gimme a fucking break.
 
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The only excuse that might work....

So Urb, it went down like this. I challenged Jack to a game of checkers and I was just about to choke him out when he said. Dude, let's settle this like men in a pissing contest. I had a great stream going all the way over the sidewalk; way further than Jack's when the cops showed up. We were like, we're football players. We can out run them. We had a great start too. Quick zip and off we went. That one fat one even broke his thumb when he couldn't keep up. It's all about competition man.
 
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smithlabs;2162641; said:
The only excuse that might work....

So Urb, it went down like this. I challenged Jack to a game of checkers and I was just about to choke him out when he said. Dude, let's settle this like men in a pissing contest. I had a great stream going all the way over the sidewalk; way further than Jacks when the cops showed up. We were like, we're football players. We can out run them. We had a great start too. Quick zip and off we went. That one fat one even broke his thumb when he couldn't keep up. It's all about competition man.
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:lol:
 
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smithlabs;2162641; said:
The only excuse that might work....

So Urb, it went down like this. I challenged Jack to a game of checkers and I was just about to choke him out when he said. Dude, let's settle this like men in a pissing contest. I had a great stream going all the way over the sidewalk; way further than Jack's when the cops showed up. We were like, we're football players. We can out run them. We had a great start too. Quick zip and off we went. That one fat one even broke his thumb when he couldn't keep up. It's all about competition man.
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That might work with URB...lol. But as far as a judge goes I'd imagine you'd have to come up with something like this..

No your honor we weren't running from the police at all. I'm not sure if you are aware of the he.... I mean winter conditioning drills we just went through. Coach Meyer and Mickey barely liked us then..We were running for the fear of what they will make us do for something like this. We believe that as Americans we have the right as citizens of this great country to avoid torture at any cost, wouldn't you agree?
 
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HorseshoeFetish;2163072; said:
That might work with URB...lol. But as far as a judge goes I'd imagine you'd have to come up with something like this..

No your honor we weren't running from the police at all. I'm not sure if you are aware of the he.... I mean winter conditioning drills we just went through. Coach Meyer and Mickey barely liked us then..We were running for the fear of what they will make us do for something like this. We believe that as Americans we have the right as citizens of this great country to avoid torture at any cost, wouldn't you agree?
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Nahhh... more like, "Your honor, it was a casual pace we took. Urban gifted us with SEC speed."
 
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How about:

"No your honor, we were just waiting outside the restaurant for a cab when they shined their lights on us and scared the piss out of us! Honestly, we only ran because it sounded like that dude who was taking pictures with all of the Buckeye recruits and we were trying to avoid a scandal. Our Honor Defend ya know."

:drunks:
 
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