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- Thread starter Golferdow01
- Start date
Romanowski
Heisman
the grammar thread made me revert back to this one...
"Hey, let me get an ink pen..."
What?
"Sorry, I'm fresh out of ink pens, but I do have a crayon pen and if I look hard enough, I can possibly find some pencil pens, maybe even some colored pencil pens, and I believe I even found some cherry scented magic marker pens, how about that? Will that work for you?"
"Hey, let me get an ink pen..."
What?
"Sorry, I'm fresh out of ink pens, but I do have a crayon pen and if I look hard enough, I can possibly find some pencil pens, maybe even some colored pencil pens, and I believe I even found some cherry scented magic marker pens, how about that? Will that work for you?"
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DaytonBuck;1382245; said:
i work with a broad that cringes when we all go out to lunch and i get a medium rare steak, she starts saying how gross it is and all that crap, so last time, i asked the server to have the cook pull it off the grill as soon as it changes color, and i sat directly across from her!
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Jake;1228451; said:I hate government contracts. They give you a list of rules that apply only to you, never to themselves. Then there's the concept of cash flow...
Me: I'm calling to find out when we're going to get paid, or why we haven't been paid.
Them: Which months are you questioning?
Me: July, August, September, October, November, December and January.
Them: I don't know. Have you called before?
Me: Yes, in August, September, October, November, December, January and February.
Them: Oh, I see. Yes, your revenue is in the system.
Me: That's what you guys always tell me. I need paid - NOW.
Them: What's the problem? I said you'll get paid.
Me: Does your employer pay you with revenue? My employees prefer cash, and they like it every two weeks. They're funny that way, I guess.
Them: Oh...
Idiots!
Did you ever get your revenue?
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BUCKYLE
Washed
MaxBuck;1389396; said:Wrong. Yours is way overcooked. THIS is what steak should look like:
Only of course there should be more of it.
I can't afford to eat at a place that cuts your food like your mommy used to. Therefore, I get my steak cooked a little more, as it's probably been dropped on the floor at some point.
Besides all that, what's that shit on the side there? I'm not a fucking rabbit, you can keep the salad.
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Romanowski
Heisman
the dumb cum dump across the street who parked her car in front of my house during the snow parking ban...the plow goes by and has to go around her car piling up a 2 foot drift at the foot of my driveway.
the asshole who couldn't be bothered to return the shopping cart to the designated spot in the parking lot...thanks for leaving it against my car you lazy [censored]. Maybe next time I'll see you do it and I'll launch it through your back windshield cock smoke.
the guy who most certainly just ate a turd sandwich asking me if there was a public rest room around, where he can cash his instant lotto ticket and if we sell stamps all in the same sentence. Dude, you are an absolute failure.
the asshole who couldn't be bothered to return the shopping cart to the designated spot in the parking lot...thanks for leaving it against my car you lazy [censored]. Maybe next time I'll see you do it and I'll launch it through your back windshield cock smoke.
the guy who most certainly just ate a turd sandwich asking me if there was a public rest room around, where he can cash his instant lotto ticket and if we sell stamps all in the same sentence. Dude, you are an absolute failure.
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I don't need to punch this person because they had what was coming to them. Anyway was running errands earlier today of course we all know how muchcolumbus sucks at clearing roads after a storm so some side streets and parking lots are still a bit of a mess. Anyway, was pulling into a parking lot and slowed down as soon as I hit the lot because it was nothing but snow, ice and slush. Pulling into a parking spot, crazy bitch behind me must have decided that I was going to slow for her taste. So she whips around me trying to take a turn, sides and plants he car right in the middle of a snow bank. She hit it so hard and fast that the front of he car was about a foot off the ground. She trys to put it in reverse and the wheels just spun. I was laughing my ass off as I walked into the store and just for good measure I made sure I told everyone in the staples so they could all go out and see the car stuck in the snow bank.
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buckeyefool;1395067; said:
On a related note, I own 2 SUVs myself (have to around here in the winter), so I don't discriminate against them at all in general obviously, but the number of people who think 4-wheel-drive equals 4-wheel-stop still amazes me. Saw some Fucknozzle the other day go ramrodding down a busy street that had only been plowed once like 6 hours before (probably 6 inches of snow on the road easily), dodging and weaving around cars because he was pissed people were actually trying to be careful in business district in a blizzard. Well, needless to say, the Asscurtain didn't apparently remember that lights turn red sometimes, so after one zip around to the left he came up to a light and 2 cars stopped, probably going 45-50 MPH (Speed Limit 35). So of course, the Anal Chia Pet slammed on his brakes, went completely sideways, and plowed into the snow bank that was lining the retaining guardrail that separated the directional traffic. Cocksocket throws up his hands, like he can't BELIEVE what just happened. The rest of us (seeing no one was hurt and he had no passengers) were just laughing our asses off at him as we drove by.
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