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Penn State Cult (Joe Knew)

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colobuck79 said:
Yep, and you might run into a Ped State alum that, with great effort, can act normal and reasonable for a couple of hours at a time. But get a few beers in them and the wingnut truth comes out. You will sit there with your mouth hanging open, disbelieving that anybody could still believe that Joesus is a saint, Sandusky was framed, and they don't have a culture problem in Slappy Valley. This very thing happened to me last week.
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Happens to me all the time. Long before I actually realized Paterno was full of shit with pretty much everything he did, long before the Sandusky stuff, long before they kicked our ass in 94 even. Long before any of that I hated Penn State, because the people I was forced to be around who were seemingly normal in any other aspect of life turned into what you're seeing now on a routine basis whenever Penn State, or just college football in general, was being discussed. People who I genuinely liked because they were friends of my parents. People who would be trusted enough to watch me as a child for a weekend while the parents were away. Normal people. Turned into cult members with eyes glazed over when discussing Paterno and Penn State.

And it was Paterno AND Penn State, not Paterno OR Penn State. There was never one without the other.
 
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What would the cult do to get their 409 back? What WOULDN'T they do?

Take another 4-year ban from post-season?
Another $60,000,000.00 fine?
Would they agree to a 2-year death penalty, if they were allowed to celebrate 409?

Would they send their own 7-year-old sons to "visit" Sandusky? (Or whatever age boys he wants.)
Would they send him 409 kids?
Would they fill up their erector set with kids to send to him?

How far away is the cult from sacrificing 409 virgins on "Joe Paterno" Day? Is there a "Joe Paterno" Day, yet? Would that be his birthday? The anniversary of his first game as head coach? His last? The day he was "unceremoniously fired"? The day he was fired the first time, but he told the BOT to go F themselves?

Or the statue that Joesus, himself, didn't like. (If he didn't like it, why do they want it returned?)
Would they commission a team of convicted child molesters to build them a new statue, if it meant the convicts' freedom?

I understand that all the big fan bases are going to have their whackos. But most don't elect these whackos to their Board of Trustees.
 
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BuckeyeNation27 said:
And it was Paterno AND Penn State, not Paterno OR Penn State. There was never one without the other.
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That was the genius of the sick old man. He managed to make himself indistinguishable from the university itself--the very embodiment of it, if not (and plenty of cultists believe this) its literal creator in its present form. And now, in the eyes of the cultists, any attempt to repudiate Joesus and distance the university from him is seen as an attack on the university itself.

There was nothing remotely similar about Woody and Ohio State. While Woody may have represented the university to many around the country when the time came to fire him, the university, the alumni and even Woody himself recognized the necessity of it and moved on quite quickly. Paterno for all his ill-gained myth was never one-hundredth the man that Woody was for all his well documented flaws.
 
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ORD_Buckeye said:
There was nothing remotely similar about Woody and Ohio State. While Woody may have represented the university to many around the country when the time came to fire him, the university, the alumni and even Woody himself recognized the necessity of it and moved on quite quickly. Paterno for all his ill-gained myth was never one-hundredth the man that Woody was for all his well documented flaws.
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Excellent point. I loved Woody, but when it was time for him to go, me and every other person I personally knew thought it was time for him to go. There was no image of a twisted hand-wringing vindictive old man working behind the scenes to control things. Woody knew he was a tiny cog in a giant machine. Joesus thought he was the machine.
 
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My dad tells the story about getting back from somewhere and turning the TV on in just enough time to see the punch, at which point he turned to his friend and says "That's the last we'll see of Woody as coach."

If that had happened to Paterno/Penn State, the cult would have just killed Bauman after convincing themselves that it was his fault.
 
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BuckeyeNation27 said:
My dad tells the story about getting back from somewhere and turning the TV on in just enough time to see the punch, at which point he turned to his friend and says "That's the last we'll see of Woody as coach."

If that had happened to Paterno/Penn State, the cult would have just killed Bauman after convincing themselves that it was his fault.
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Bauman attacked the sacred fist of Joe with his throat.....Blasphemer!......Stone him!!!!
 
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ORD_Buckeye said:
Bauman was about to attack a young crippled boy that Joesus had brought from the hospital to watch the game on the sidelines, and despite being 80 years old, Joesus bravely and selflessly beat back the ruthless attacker and protected the boy (irony intended).
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And to make matters worse, the boy had just been baptized into the Holy Church of Joesus in the Ped State showers.
 
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ORD_Buckeye said:
Bauman was about to attack a young crippled boy that Joesus had brought from the hospital to watch the game on the sidelines, and despite being 80 years old, Joesus bravely and selflessly beat back the ruthless attacker and protected the boy (irony intended).
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You are truly an adept in the wisdom of Joesus and in the following of his most blessed and righteous teachings.

In the name of the holy wins, the statue and peaceful weekends...Amen.
 
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BuckeyeNation27 said:
If that had happened to Paterno/Penn State, the cult would have just killed Bauman after convincing themselves that it was his fault.
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Crapping your pants on the sideline is a pretty bold "he should retire" move. At this point, most of the cult have convinced themselves it never happened. It seems like an exaggeration to say that they would find some way to excuse or ignore the action, but it really isn't.

I'm curious if someone knows what excuse they gave for him sitting in the press box during games for the last few years he "coached." How do they justify him receiving credit for wins he clearly had nothing to do with?

I'm sure there is some narrative out there about how it was some huge sacrifice for him while simultaneously leaving him in complete control of the team. Sort of like when he simultaneously ran the university but also didn't know about nor could he do anything about Sandusky.
 
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