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NoSuch Dame LB Manti "Snugglebunny" Te'o (official imaginary thread)

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mantibob.png
 
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Nutriaitch;2293299; said:
i doubt that was his motivation, just a by product.

probably went something like this.

Teo is having gay buttsex with the Tuiasospo guy, but can't come clean on that.
Needs a way to explain the all night phone calls to California, parents not meeting his significant other, etc.

BOOM, make up a girlfriend story.

works for a while until mom and dad decide they need to meet this girl if they still together this long. must be serious, she could become their daughter in law.

need to buy some time somehow....hmmmm.

CAR WRECK!

[Mark May], that's only temporary. they want to meet her at a game this year. how can we prolong this a bit?

um leukemia! yeah, leukemia. no way they expect a cancer patient to fly across country to meet us. this will definitely buy more time for us to figure a way out of this mess.

aww crap. she can't have leukemia. mom and pop are going to constantly ask questions, how can we keep this up?

dude, we gotta kill her off. people will feel sorry for you at 1st, but it's football season. no one is ever going to even think about her again in a week or so.

what about the funeral? won't you be expected to go away for a day or two for a funeral?

make it on gameday. that way they know I can't leave.

sweet! this is gonna work.


unfortunately, like all tall tales, it kept growing.
the media picked it up, ran with it, turned it into a feel good story, jammed it down our throats, used it to perk up his Heisman status, etc.

Te'o had no choice but to roll with it.
It was too big to back down. He had to hope the story would just fade away once he got through the season.

OOOOOPS!
busted.
Click to expand...


Bingo. The lie was just to big. His mistake was Stanford. Someone there tried to look her up. She doesn't exist. Uh oh.
 
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alexhortdog95;2293332; said:
Okay, so, while we're all having fun with this, I have a question....

How does a senior, All-American, team captain, future first round draft pick NOT find a person right there in South Bend, Indiana?
Click to expand...
Good question he hasn't seen this girl for 3 years and he didn't cheat on her? That's impressive for someone of his stature. Or maybe really dumb.
 
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Kind of plays out like he was just hiding a gay relationship with Tuiasosopo. He's a football player (homophobic culture), Mormon, and attending a Catholic school. His friend from back in the day (Tuiasosopo) is responsible for at least 2 fake-twitter accounts that Te'o responds to, the replies to them help give credibility to his "girlfriend". Tuiasosopo obtains the pictures of the fake GF by asking her to hold up the signs with some cryptic message on it. It's all done to promote the fake relationship. No one in his circle will question why Te'o doesn't date, or have a wife for the next few years after she dies...

images
 
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http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2013/01/16/reagan-mauia-says-lennay-kekua-is-real/


Just when it seems like the Manti Te?o story can get no stranger, it does.

On Wednesday night, Cardinals fullback Reagan Mauia (a/k/a ?The Juggernaut . . . Bitch?) said that the fake dead girlfriend of Te?o is real. Specifically, Mauia says he met Kekua in 2011.

?This was before her and Manti,? Mauia said Wednesday evening, via ESPN.com. ?I don?t think Manti was even in the picture, but she and I became good friends. We would talk off and on, just checking up on each other kind of thing. I am close to her family. When she was going through the loss of her father, I was ? I offered a comforting shoulder and just someone to bounce her emotions off. That was just from meeting her in Samoa.?

Mauia said he was introduced to Kekua by Ronaiah Tuiasosopo, the man whom the original report regarding the hoax suggests had a role in the creation of the phony persona. Mauia believes Kekua?s mother operates her Twitter account, and Mauia disagreed with the suggestion that Kekua doesn?t exist.

?No, she is real,? Mauia said.

And now we?ll wait for the story to find a way to get even weirder
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Diego-Bucks;2293334; said:
Kind of plays out like he was just hiding a gay relationship with Tuiasosopo. He's a football player (homophobic culture), Mormon, and attending a Catholic school. His friend from back in the day (Tuiasosopo) is responsible for at least 2 fake-twitter accounts that Te'o responds to, the replies to them help give credibility to his "girlfriend". Tuiasosopo obtains the pictures of the fake GF by asking her to hold up the signs with some cryptic message on it. It's all done to promote the fake relationship. No one in his circle will question why Te'o doesn't date, or have a wife for the next few years after she dies...

images
Click to expand...

No question about it. I'm finding it funny that there is even any discussion other than this is a direct coverup of his sexual orientation.
 
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3074326;2293337; said:
I hope the gay theory doesn't hold true, because that would be quite sad. But I'm starting to think it's the only reasonable explanation.
Click to expand...

I don't get why he doesn't just go with the Gay thing, but then I tried to remember the last gay mormon I knew about and stopped there.

This can only go downhill from here :popcorn:
 
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