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8:37 -- Keith Jackson on Vince Young: "As an old defensive coach once said, 'He ain't got no handles,' but he led the country in passing this year."
(Um, does anyone on this plane speak jive? What just happened there?)
8:45 -- Top-four names, words and phrases that sound 10 times more entertaining when Keith Jackson says them: (1) LenDale White; (2) Tostitos; (3) the speedster; (4) Frostee Rucker.
10:00 -- An action-packed USC drive for a field goal closes out the first half, highlighted by shaky clock management and a vicious hit on a Leinart scramble that didn't even remotely faze Keith Jackson. After about 90 years of announcing, you would need to sack someone with a chainsaw for Keith Jackson to be flustered. Heading into halftime, it's Texas 16, USC 10.
10:57 -- Reason No. 235 why I enjoy the Keith Jackson Era -- any time he has to read a "Dancing with the Stars" promo. I'm dying for him to do "Emily's Reasons Why Not." "You know Heather Graham as the stunning beauty who played Rollergirl and Felicity Shagwell ... now this little lassie has her own show on ABC ..."
11:07 -- All right, this wasn't just the highlight of the game, it might have been the highlight of my life. Here's an actual transcript of Keith Jackson reading an "Emily's Reasons Why Not" promo (10 minutes after I wished for it): "Don't miss the season's premiere of 'Emily's Reasons Why Not.' [Mumbling to someone off-camera.] 'Emily's Reasons' ... I don't know. [Back to the promo.] Starring Heather ... Graham. A new comedy about love, laughter and life, premiering at Monday, 9 central, followed by an all-new 'Jake' ... [prolonged pause] ... in Progress,' starring John Stah-mos." (Note: That was 10 times funnier if you imagine Stamos flipping out in his living room, screaming, "It's STAY-mos, you old fart! STAY-mos!" before flipping over his 40-inch Sony Wega, breaking a coffee table and finally being consoled by Dave Coulier and his publicist, Lewis Kay.)
11:40 -- Since I firmly believe Marv Albert should do every big NBA game, Pat Summerall every big NFL game and Keith Jackson every big college football game, no matter how old they are, and only because it feels like a bigger game when any of them is involved, I feel totally comfortable saying this: Listening to Jackson is like driving with my mother at night. In other words, maybe he can't really see anymore, and he might drive over a few curbs, and maybe he'll even send a pedestrian diving behind a parking meter ... but it's always exciting, and you always get home safely in the end.
12:04 a.m. -- I'll tell ya, one of these times, Jackson and Fouts are going to realize that someone fumbled in this game when it actually happened. Law of averages.
12:21 -- Young runs for the 2-point conversion. I now have him ranked above every NFL QB except for Tom Brady, Peyton Manning and Carson Palmer. Good golly. We also had this exchange right after the conversion: -- Jackson: "Only 19 seconds to play ... clock didn't move on that play."
-- Fouts: "That's an extra point, it's probably not going to ... "
12:21 -- Young runs for the 2-point conversion. I now have him ranked above every NFL QB except for Tom Brady, Peyton Manning and Carson Palmer. Good golly. We also had this exchange right after the conversion: -- Jackson: "Only 19 seconds to play ... clock didn't move on that play."
-- Fouts: "That's an extra point, it's probably not going to ... "
11:07 -- All right, this wasn't just the highlight of the game, it might have been the highlight of my life. Here's an actual transcript of Keith Jackson reading an "Emily's Reasons Why Not" promo (10 minutes after I wished for it): "Don't miss the season's premiere of 'Emily's Reasons Why Not.' [Mumbling to someone off-camera.] 'Emily's Reasons' ... I don't know. [Back to the promo.] Starring Heather ... Graham. A new comedy about love, laughter and life, premiering at Monday, 9 central, followed by an all-new 'Jake' ... [prolonged pause] ... in Progress,' starring John Stah-mos." (Note: That was 10 times funnier if you imagine Stamos flipping out in his living room, screaming, "It's STAY-mos, you old fart! STAY-mos!" before flipping over his 40-inch Sony Wega, breaking a coffee table and finally being consoled by Dave Coulier and his publicist, Lewis Kay.)
How about "Ken Dorsey is 38-1 as a starter. He is the cool dude who drives this bus." Umm... I don't know about you but the phrase "cool dude who drives this bus" hasn't been used since the 70's. I envision Ken Dorsey driving a VW peace bus. The only phrase that comes to mind is "wrong".
Sorry if one of the most well-known and respected (although now over-the-hill) sports announcers of all time doesn't customize his verbiage to the under-25 crowd.
apparently you dont remember when joe pa used to do the game...seed702 said:Come on guys, he's a legend!
Haha, but he's horrible now.
He said something in the first quarter about how the drum major dropped the baton, and Fouts says something fucking stupid like "lots of pressure in big games for everybody Keith." I can't stand Dan Fouts.