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Jesus Christ

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Sung to the Battle Hymn of the Republic:

Singer: Jesus can't play rugby 'cause he's got holes in his hands
All: Repeat twice
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves

Chorus: Free beer for all the ruggers, Free beer for all the ruggers
Free beer for all the ruggers, 'cause the rugby revolution marches on

Additional Verses (replaces bold portion, and name where noted):
The goal posts give him flashbacks
His dad'll fix the game
He's stuck in the hooker position
He wears illegal headgear
He's only got 12 friends
His shoulder pads are made of wood
He's nailed to the fucking cross
He's got an illegal toe cleat
The jew won't pay his dues
He can't support a hooker
 
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RugbyBuck said:
Sung to the Battle Hymn of the Republic:

Singer: Jesus can't play rugby 'cause he's got holes in his hands
All: Repeat twice
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves

Chorus: Free beer for all the ruggers, Free beer for all the ruggers
Free beer for all the ruggers, 'cause the rugby revolution marches on

Additional Verses (replaces bold portion, and name where noted):
The goal posts give him flashbacks
His dad'll fix the game
He's stuck in the hooker position
He wears illegal headgear
He's only got 12 friends
His shoulder pads are made of wood
He's nailed to the fucking cross
He's got an illegal toe cleat
The jew won't pay his dues
He can't support a hooker
Click to expand...

:rofl: :slappy:

Oh my god. I think I am dying. Make it stop. I'm trying not to laugh out loud because everyone will think I'm nuts. You are going to hell, Rugby.
 
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...Is my homeboy.

2005011415495470.jpg
 
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Touchdown Jesus Runs for 262 Yards and Two Scores in Notre Dame Victory

<TABLE cellSpacing=2 cellPadding=0 width=64 align=left border=1><TBODY><TR><TD>
2003-1008-jesus.jpg
</TD></TR><TR><TD>Touchdown Jesus set Notre Dame’s single-game rushing record on Saturday.
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>Touchdown Jesus took the field for Notre Dame on Saturday, leading the team to 20-14 upset victory over No. 15 Pittsburgh. The much-hyped icon suited up for the game in order to save the Irish from a wretched slump that saw the program start the season 1-3 and win only three of its last eight games. “We were happy to have Him out there with us,” said Notre Dame coach Tyrone Willingham. “He’s looked down on us all of these years from the library mural and we always knew that if we needed Him we could call on Him – and He really came through for us on Saturday.”
Touchdown Jesus provided salvation for the Notre Dame rushing attack, the nation’s eighth worst, piling up a school-record 262 yards on just 24 carries, as well as two touchdowns.
Pitt coach Walt Harris said he knew his team was in for a long day as soon as he saw the white-robed, sandaled deity taking part in pre-game warm-ups.
“There’s really no way you can put together a game plan for the TDJC, being that he is all powerful and all knowing,” said Pitt coach Walt Harris. “I think he could have taken every carry to the end zone had He wanted to, but you could tell He let up a little bit on us – He showed mercy.”
Touchdown Jesus also provided a boost to the Notre Dame defense in the second half, covering Pitt receiver Larry Fitzgerald who had torched the Irish for 79 yards and two touchdowns in the first two quarters. Fitzgerald was held without a catch after halftime. “It seemed like He knew every move I was going to make even before I did,” said Fitzgerald.
Willingham doesn’t know if Touchdown Jesus will suit up for his team this week versus USC, but is confident Notre Dame will continue to improve because of Touchdown Jesus’ influence.
“Obviously, if He plays we are going win being that He is infallible, so that’s nice,” said Willingham. “But He also was a fantastic influence in the locker room in the short time He was here. His halftime speech about not judging one another lest we be judged was powerful stuff. Plus, He healed all of our injured players and changed our water into Gatorade. The effects of His time here will be felt for a while and we hope He will come back.”
<!-- #EndEditable -->
 
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