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Getting out of a Wedding

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DaytonBuck;1415729; said:
I have warrant for being involved in a vicious cat fighting ring with former Vols QB A.J. Suggs
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Kiffin said he's not concerned that UT has received what most would consider bad press for allegations about cat fighting rings and former Vol quarterbacks, as they are minor NCAA violations.

"It has helped a lot," Kiffin said. "For our program to be in the news so much now - not just locally but nationally."

"For the players that we need to recruit that are freshmen, sophomores and juniors that are seeing our colors and our logos, it helps us out tremendously down the road."
 
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I would just tell them that as much as you would like to be there to celebrate this wonderful time with them that you already have a long weekend with the guys planned, reservations already booked for that particular time... been planning it for a long time now... has been difficult to get all of you together so you picked a time so far out....

The way I look at it, it isn't really a lie but rather just a stretch of the truth... it is with "the guys" (the OSU guys, that is).... it is a reservation (already on the schedule)... and the whole planning it for a long time now (tOSU's schedule came out a while back.) You're golden...
 
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[quote='BusNative;141573;2]What kind of america-hating degenerate has a wedding on a college football saturday? If that's not maoist, I dont know what is.[/quote]

For once 'bus native and I agree. I would add that it's just like some facist regiem to schedule a parade or a wedding during football season.

If you need a stand-in for your ticket, one who knows the pain of a childhod spent in Dayton, I'm your man. I like to help when I can and this is certainy one time when I can.
 
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BuckeyeRyn;1415736; said:
I would just tell them that as much as you would like to be there to celebrate this wonderful time with them that you already have a long weekend with the guys planned, reservations already booked for that particular time... been planning it for a long time now... has been difficult to get all of you together so you picked a time so far out....

The way I look at it, it isn't really a lie but rather just a stretch of the truth... it is with "the guys" (the OSU guys, that is).... it is a reservation (already on the schedule)... and the whole planning it for a long time now (tOSU's schedule came out a while back.) You're golden...
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Oh, and the game was booked 10 years out. Probably long before the bride and groom ever knew they were getting married.

On the other hand, what do folks in North Carolina know about college football? You'll have to 'splain to them how a wedding in football season in Ohio is like a wedding in February on the date of the Duke - UNC game.

If that doesn't work, tell 'em its like a wedding on the same day as NASCAR at Darlington.

If that doesn't work tell 'em an OSU football game is like a Ray Charles - Temptations - James Brown concert.

Make a friend at the Montgomery County Sherrif's Department. Bribe him to arrest you on Thursday and throw your lying ass in the slammer until Saturday morning.

If that doesn't work tell 'em barbecue is something you do with tomato suace, not mustard and vinegar. You wouldn't eat that grey road kill they prefer in the Tar Heel state. That would be the most honest and manly of my many suggestions, (and that shit they call barbecue really is awful.)
 
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Look Dayton... They probably only invited you as a courtesy, cuz they like your Dad/Mom enough to put up with your shenanigans to not insult them. All they really care about is that their ass is covered and the invite was sent. Send a card with cash and all will be forgiven. Have fun at the game!
 
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Tell them your kitty is sick (at the last minute)and you need to be present in case a life or death decision has to be made. They would feel guilty about giving you [censored](they still will to some degree) because you didn't show up. :tongue2: Then send them a nice gift!
 
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Asked to Leave

How about this?

My buddy and I were asked to leave a wedding during the church ceremony!

We were sitting there with our wives and the couple did their own vows.

They had such statements as I agree to consider your personal space and cherish your opinions.

In a moment of hysterical insanity, I began to make up vows for them and whispered them to my buddy.

They went like this:

I, Love-Bud, promise to worhsip your kharma, respect your right to pray to Zuul, cherish your legs around my ears...etc.

We both started giggling. Every time he looked at me he broke up and every time I heard him giggle, I also went off. One of the usher's asked us to leave and we both went to the lobby and since we couldn't straighten up we had to leave the church and sit in the car. Our wive's were appalled but not surprised.

Needless to say we made only a brief appearance at the reception to apologize and grab a Bud.

:biggrin:
 
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Some of you have missed the other posts in this thread. While manning up and telling the truth seems viable for most, Dayton's family will be exceptionally pissed all the same if he tells the truth :) Also, he wants an alibi ahead of schedule because a last minute change in plans would be too obvious.

Your best bet Dayton is probably a business trip. Another possible solution could be to tell them you're in another wedding on that date, possibly a fictional friend you work with so there aren't many questions, and you're part of the wedding party. I can't imagine family would be upset if you chose your friend's wedding over your cousin's when you were in the wedding party.
 
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DaytonBuck;1415477; said:
So I just got invitation in the mail that my cousin's wedding is in Charlotte on September 12th of this year. This just happens to coincide with the USC game. I had planned to go to the game as well.

I need an excuse/scheme/story to get out of this so that feelings won't be hurt.
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Do you think Matrix gave a shit about his cousin's wedding?

Dayton: Remember when I promised to go to your wedding?
DB's: That's right, DB. You did.
Dayton: I lied.

Head to the Shoe.
 
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A couple of years ago my sister's son got married on a Saturday in September. I was in Austin, Texas for a football game that day.

I told them the truth ahead of time, that I'd already made plans to go to the game. It's better than being caught in a lie.

This was my older sister. Years ago I was 15 when she got married. I got hammered at the reception (they served me all night long because I was wearing a tux), and then when getting in the car to leave, I stepped on the top layer of the wedding cake (it's traditionally saved to be eaten on the 1st anniversary).

So she might have been glad I was in Texas when her son was married.
 
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Taosman;1415762; said:
Tell them your kitty is sick (at the last minute)and you need to be present in case a life or death decision has to be made. They would feel guilty about giving you [censored](they still will to some degree) because you didn't show up. :tongue2: Then send them a nice gift!
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Or just tell him you have a wicked case of vaginitis.
 
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