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- Thread starter scarletandgrey
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shetuck;1147636; said:Not so much... he forgot to add that he was also on the roof!
if my fatass was on the roof, the car would have collapsed
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shetuck
What do you need water for, Sunshine?
Apache;1147618; said:For a relatively intelligent person, I can be a moron. I will list a few examples.
-19th birthday, my best friend and I bought new Kawasaki Z-900 motorcyles.
had a couple of cowboy pops, decided to take a ride and raced around 270. Obviously we were not sensible enough to observe the suggested safe speed limit. One of Columbus's finest saw us and chased us. My buddy pulled over and took the ticket but he also told him my name and address. I kept going, yes I am a moron. A short later, I heard a knock on my apartment door. Guess who was there? Yes the officer with a few of his back up storm troopers. Yes, I had to post bail, yes, I had to pay a huge fine, yes, they took my license for a time. Yes, I am a moron.
-Drove non-stop to Las Vegas, instead of sleeping upon arrival, I thought it would be a good idea to play blackjck. Lost my entire bankroll that night. Had to wire home for more money.
-Quit coaching at the HS level to become an administrator. Yes, even I had to grow up.
-Sat in a pool at the Gault House in Louisville at a coaches clinic. Table and chairs also in the pool so I could keep some ice and Wild Turkey handy. The hotel people didnt like that.
-Finished the stay at the Gault house sitting on the toilet and aiming at the sink at the same time. Sort of sick.
The list can go on and on, but people have said my quote is: "I have met the enemy and he is me."
Hence my proclivity for getting married-divorced-married-divorced-married-...?
Fixed... just putting the cause-and-effect relationship in order! :p
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ulukinatme
Old Skool
I've got a couple...
One time I was in the park late at night with my girlfriend at the time, foolin' around. It was dark, but I was sure to watch for vehicles and lights coming down the adjacent road. Well, I suddenly heard the sound of car tires running along the gravel road about 100 yards off. I immediately jumped up, we grabbed the blanket and started moving toward the car about 10 yards away. Unfortunately I didn't quite get my pants fastened in time before the cops turned the lights on. Well, they started talking to us, went back into the squad car to run our licenses and such, gf is completely flipping out thinking they're going to contact her parents. Luckily we got off we a warning, as I'm sure most people do that get caught in those circumstances
One time in 7th grade, on a dare, I made the incredibly foolish decision to spike a glass of punch of Epicac. Lets just say that a friend ratted us out afterwards, and I received strict disciplinary action, but it could have been so much worse. I'm grateful that the kid was ok the next day, regret being foolish enough to do such a thing in the first place.
The one thing a lot of people don't know about is a hit and run I did at 20. Early one morning I was coming home from school, mom had called and wanted me home early for whatever reason, and I had been up too late the night before. Well, I was coming down the road, construction had limited the lanes up ahead. On top of that a garbage truck was stopping and going ahead. Well, I didn't notice the abrupt stop of the car in front of me until it was too late, rear ended him. Now, I had actually been involved in a previous accident that wasn't my fault about 5 months prior, and my car still had body damage to it. We got out of the car and talked briefly, fortunately it was in the middle of a city but still early enough no one else was around. After looking at the damage I was convinced I could get away, despite the fender being crunched against the tire. The other driver suggested we pull off to the side to get out of the way of the other people, and I agreed. Instead of pulling on the side I hit the gas and got the hell out of there. I drove about a mile before I pulled over to the side of the road and did my best to pull the fender away from the tire (It was taking small chuncks out of the tire). I then drove the rest of the way to my buddy's house, woke him up, and we proceeded to bang out the damage. We were eventually able to make it look as it did prior to the 2nd accident ( We jumped up and down on the hood, that was good stuff ). Family and friends never knew the accident occurred because of the prior damage that had been done to the car. I feel for the guy I hit, he definitly didn't deserve to be shat on like that, but his damage wasn't bad if any at all. If I ran into him today, I'd definitly reimburse him the money it would have cost for repairs.
One time I was in the park late at night with my girlfriend at the time, foolin' around. It was dark, but I was sure to watch for vehicles and lights coming down the adjacent road. Well, I suddenly heard the sound of car tires running along the gravel road about 100 yards off. I immediately jumped up, we grabbed the blanket and started moving toward the car about 10 yards away. Unfortunately I didn't quite get my pants fastened in time before the cops turned the lights on. Well, they started talking to us, went back into the squad car to run our licenses and such, gf is completely flipping out thinking they're going to contact her parents. Luckily we got off we a warning, as I'm sure most people do that get caught in those circumstances
One time in 7th grade, on a dare, I made the incredibly foolish decision to spike a glass of punch of Epicac. Lets just say that a friend ratted us out afterwards, and I received strict disciplinary action, but it could have been so much worse. I'm grateful that the kid was ok the next day, regret being foolish enough to do such a thing in the first place.
The one thing a lot of people don't know about is a hit and run I did at 20. Early one morning I was coming home from school, mom had called and wanted me home early for whatever reason, and I had been up too late the night before. Well, I was coming down the road, construction had limited the lanes up ahead. On top of that a garbage truck was stopping and going ahead. Well, I didn't notice the abrupt stop of the car in front of me until it was too late, rear ended him. Now, I had actually been involved in a previous accident that wasn't my fault about 5 months prior, and my car still had body damage to it. We got out of the car and talked briefly, fortunately it was in the middle of a city but still early enough no one else was around. After looking at the damage I was convinced I could get away, despite the fender being crunched against the tire. The other driver suggested we pull off to the side to get out of the way of the other people, and I agreed. Instead of pulling on the side I hit the gas and got the hell out of there. I drove about a mile before I pulled over to the side of the road and did my best to pull the fender away from the tire (It was taking small chuncks out of the tire). I then drove the rest of the way to my buddy's house, woke him up, and we proceeded to bang out the damage. We were eventually able to make it look as it did prior to the 2nd accident ( We jumped up and down on the hood, that was good stuff ). Family and friends never knew the accident occurred because of the prior damage that had been done to the car. I feel for the guy I hit, he definitly didn't deserve to be shat on like that, but his damage wasn't bad if any at all. If I ran into him today, I'd definitly reimburse him the money it would have cost for repairs.
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I could post for a while here.. but my all-time dumbest... On a dare, I walked across the top of the dam at the Gorge in Akron OH.. when I was 12... to make this even dumber, I couldn't swim and some water was flowing over the dam when I did this... plus, then I had to walk back...
I kept this in mind every time my kids did something idiotic and would think to myself, "but it doesn't compare to the asinine stunt you pulled, dumbass"
I kept this in mind every time my kids did something idiotic and would think to myself, "but it doesn't compare to the asinine stunt you pulled, dumbass"
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GeorgeWashington
I'm #1 Bitches
shetuck;1147661; said:Is is true that ever since that incident, according to Martha, you now only eat flank steak?
Martha is still wondering how you cleaned yourself up so easily after that bukkake party you hosted. She was amazed that you almost kept your mouth open the whole time!
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Folanator;1147674; said:
Things that have been earned on BP:
--the right to any and all team information no matter how sensitive the issue.
--CCI's rep
--BB73's vCash fortune
--troll heads on pikes
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shetuck
What do you need water for, Sunshine?
GeorgeWashington;1147668; said:
Couldn't help it... my jaw dropped when I saw the sheer volume of love-liquor she could snort up her nose.
What a woman!!! Her mothra moniker really stuck after that night...
Good times... good times... Too bad you were so busy sailing around the Delaware getting your fill of Hessian seamen!
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