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Dumbest/Stupidest Thing You Have Ever Done?

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Dryden;1148761; said:
As long as you're not sitting on other peoples' testicles, I wouldn't worry about it.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.
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"I'm sitting on my testicles right now Oprah!"

w_cruise_195.jpg
 
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Nutriaitch;1148368; said:
When I was 19, me and some buddies went bar hopping. We're in this lil hole in the wall, coonass joint. The kind with cajun music blaring, the old hardwood floors, and no Air Conditioning.

I'm not a very big guy (5'8" around 145 at the time). In walks a guy who looked like he could play tight end at a small college. Dude was wearing overalls, and white shrimp boots. My buddies dared me to go over and harrass the guy about his attire.

Went over fairly well at 1st. Dude just kinda laughed at me. So thinking I was in good with him, I decided to make a few jokes about fucking farm animals. Apparently, this wasn't as funny to him as it was to me.
He issued a warning that if I didn't get out of his face, he be gracious enough to make my smile match his gap toothed grille.

I then spoke the dumbest sentence ever to come out of my mouth. "50 bucks says your fat ass can't swing fast enough to land a sqaure shot on me"

I lost that bet, 1 tooth, my wallet, my pride, and about 6 hour window of time during which I have no clue what happened. When I woke up the next morning, my left eye was swollen shut, bottom lip was about twice the size it was when I left my house the previous night, had 4 stitches in the back of my head, and a broken nose. The bridge of my nose still has a lump on it from that night (11 years ago).

Needless to say, I haven't mouthed off to very many toothless giants that look like they just climbed off a trawl boat.
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Nick Saban detractors disapprove of your language
 
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NFBuck;1148213; said:
Moving to Columbus, Ohio immediately after high school for college from a small town. Alcohol...lots of it. Now I'm sitting in the middle of this god-forsaken desert, amongst a gathering army of dung beetles, forecasting weather for another 5 months. It's fucking hot, and these damn beetles are plotting against me, I know it.
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Wait till someone gets booze in these damn things
 
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So, I don't know if this is the dumbest thing, but it's definately in the top5.

I used to hang out in this bar named the Goat Hill Tavern near my house, nice place 5 days a week but on the weekends it turns into a meat market for the local colleges, so guys are all about looking and acting cool.

One night, the wife has some company come and visit, it's Saturday but I am like "fuck it, let's go to the bar" so we head down, manage to find a booth and a bunch of us sit, drink and we're having a good time. Well, this place isn't quite a dive, but it's restrooms, especially the mens, are something of nightmare. So the wife is hanging with a friend, and they come out of the ladies room, she tells her friend that the mens room is fucking disgusting and pushes open the door a bit to show her. Some guy comes along and gives her shit, calling her a dumb bitch and what not. So, she tells me, I ask if she wants me to do something about it, she says no, it's not a big deal.

Unfortunately, it didn't stop there, every time the guy sees my wife he's calling her a dumb bitch, so we're about to leave. Now, I am with 3 big dudes, and had a told them what was going on, this wouldn't have been a problem, however, I am not really the type to let my friends fight my battles, so I send the wife and her friends outside. My other friends are paying their tabs, and I approach the guy. I tap him on the shoulder, he turns around and I drill him in the mouth, knocking him back.

So, here's where the story goes south, what I didn't realize in my drunken state, was that he was with 4 friends, and I was wearing a really baggy (double XL) chargers sweatshirt. I am a small dude, I weigh 160, I am 6'2" tall so this sweatshirt might as well be a blanket on me, they proceed to pull the hood over my head and beat the HOLY FUCK out of me, knocking out teeth, getting in some good rib shots as I am struggling to get out of the sweatshirt. I get out, bouncers grab me, and I am tossed out of the bar.

That's the last time I got into a fight, still got the gap in my lower teeth to show for it.
 
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OCBucksFan;1150354; said:
I am a small dude, I weigh 160, I am 6'2" tall so this sweatshirt might as well be a blanket on me, they proceed to pull the hood over my head and beat the HOLY FUCK out of me, knocking out teeth, getting in some good rib shots as I am struggling to get out of the sweatshirt.
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Tho....do you thound like Lou Holth now?
 
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Nutriaitch;1150288; said:
being born and bred a coonass, I can call us coonasses. :)
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There are a few different thoughts as to the orgins of the term coonass as it refers to Louisiana Cajuns. Some have said that it compares the Cajun to the part of the raccoon under the tail being the lowest part of the animal. Others claimed that since a Cajun was lower than a black man, and a black man was refered to as a "coon", then a Cajun would be the coon's ass. Most likely the orgins of the term coonass are from a French word used in the 1940's as a slang for a very stupid person.
During World War II the U.S Army was in need of French interpreters. The young soldiers from the Louisiana bayous were found to be a good source for this since being of French decent, they already knew how to speak the language. These young Cajun boys were assigned as interpreters for high ranking American, British, and French officiers. The French officiers would recieve their orders from the American staff officiers running the war effort in Europe through these young, often uneducated, low-ranking boys who couldn't even speak proper French. This was considered a major insault to the dignified French officiers. They started calling the young interpreters from Louisiana the French word CONASSE (coo - nass)​
The literal translation of the word CONASSE is the woman's sexual organ. The word was used in slang as:
A. a stupid person
B. whore jargon refering to a bungling prostitute
C. reference to a prostitute without a health card
D. a man who does stupid things
E. grossly stupid person
In time the French troops in Europe refered to all interpreters, even those not from Louisiana, as a conasse. Other American and British soldiers, not knowing any better, started calling the interpreters the dergatory word they heard as "coonass".
​
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-cultural cajun page

The most popular folk etymology, however, stems from late Louisiana congressman and cultural activist James "Jimmy" Domengeaux, who maintained that "coonass" derived from the continental French word "connasse," which he contended meant "stupid person" or "a prostitute without health papers" (dirty prostitute). He asserted that Frenchmen used the term in reference to Cajun soldiers serving in France during World War II, and that Anglo-American soldiers overheard the term, transformed it into "coonass," and brought it back to the U.S. as a disparaging term for Cajuns. Citing Domengeaux's etymology, Louisiana legislators passed a concurrent resolution in the 1980s condemning the word. (Contrary to popular belief, the lawmakers did not ban the term.)[4]
Research has since disproved Domengeaux's "conasse" etymology. Indeed, photographic evidence shows that Cajuns themselves used the term prior to the time in which "conasse" allegedly morphed into "coonass."[5] As a result, the origin of "coonass" remains uncertain.
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-wikipedia



Assumption makes an Ass out of U and Me
 
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