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Dumbest/Stupidest Thing You Have Ever Done?

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Prolly already a thread on this, but I have to share my pain.

I have done a lot of dumb stuff. I mean a lot. Today may take the cake.

I bought some new athletic shorts. They have an elastic band and also a cord that runs through them. But it is not the kind of cord you tie - it is a continuous loop. Just pull it to snug them up.

Today the cord was inside my shorts and unbeknownst to me had gotten itself looped around my best friend in the entire world.

Over many years of living I have honed the art of quickly undressing when I am in a hurry. The way it works for shorts is that as I begin to lower them I pull my right leg up. As soon as the foot is free I place it over the waist band and slam it to the floor - all in one quick motion. The greater the hurry the higher I raise the right leg and the faster I slam it down. Today I was in a big hurry.

I barely had time to appreciate the split second I was hung like John Holmes (Or at least like John Homes in "The Pencil Does Dallas") when I recognized I had made a mistake.

I have since cut the cord.

Next?
 
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JFC. where to start....

ok, piss drunk... country road... radiator leak....

See where this is going?

While standing on the bumper, pecker in hand getting ready to refill the radiator (4WD, yes I suppose I am a redneck) officer pulls up to help, that would have been the highpoint of the situation.

of course now it is just a funny joke, he couldn't really bust me for anything good so I just had to call my parent's to come and get me.
 
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gregorylee;1147385; said:
You sir are truely a moron! Unless they were fat potentially herpes ridden whores.
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Great post. The 1st time would have been with a hot cheerleader and a chick I deemed too desperate that she wanted to throw her friend into the mix. The 2nd time I turned it down was 2 girls at wal-mart that I had never met. They might have had a VD ya never know. Which is another reason why I declined.
 
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Buckeyedynasty;1147390; said:
Great post. The 1st time would have been with a hot cheerleader and a chick I deemed too desperate that she wanted to throw her friend into the mix. The 2nd time I turned it down was 2 girls at wal-mart that I had never met. They might have had a VD ya never know. Which is another reason why I declined.
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I don't blame you for the second one.

The first one, however..

:tongue2:
 
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Buckeyedynasty;1147390; said:
Great post. The 1st time would have been with a hot cheerleader and a chick I deemed too desperate that she wanted to throw her friend into the mix. The 2nd time I turned it down was 2 girls at wal-mart that I had never met. They might have had a VD ya never know. Which is another reason why I declined.
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The first part removes all doubt about the second part

but you shoulda went for the first one.
 
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