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Decanonized Mythologized Disgraced Ped State Monster Coach Joe Paterno (Zombie Icon)

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Mrstickball;1818904; said:
When Joe dies...What do they do with him? Do they bury him at the 50?
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How to Make a JoPA Mummy: [FONT=ms sans serif, geneva, helvetica][SIZE=-2]
  1. Get four jars to hold the liver, lungs, intestines, and stomach. Keep the heart inside the body and discard the other internal body organs.
  2. Poke a rod with a hook on it through the nasal cavity to pull out the brain. Stuff the head with tree resin and sawdust.
  3. Soak the body in natron for 40 days. Then put the body on an inclining couch so the liquids and natron fall to the bottom into a pan. Discard.
  4. Rub the body with olibanum oil to make the skin supple.
  5. Pack the body to make it more lifelike (with spices or sawdust).
  6. Use wax to seal any incisions.
  7. Tear fine linen into strips 16 yards long and 2-8 inches wide.
  8. Wrap the smaller extremities (toes and fingers) first.
  9. Next, wrap the limbs, and finally, the torso.
  10. Sing appropriate chants over each body part.
  11. Secure linen with tree resin.
  12. Tuck in an amulet after every few layers. [/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=-1]Tips: [/SIZE][FONT=ms sans serif, geneva, helvetica][SIZE=-2]
  1. You'll need over 1000 yards of fine linen.
  2. The wrapping should take 15 days. .
  3. Natron is a drying solution from the Nile area. It's similar to baking soda and salt [/SIZE][/FONT]
Then put one of those Paterno masks over his head, stick him in the press box, nobody will ever notice that he is dead, and he can go on coaching forever. :biggrin:
 
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paternolimbo.jpg
 
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PSU captain: No truth to JoePa speculation

On Sunday at an Outback Bowl welcome dinner, two Penn State captains dismissed reports of 84-year-old coach Joe Paterno retiring after the game. Paterno, who recently said he intends to return for the 2011 season, spoke only briefly at the dinner and didn't address the reports, but fifth-year senior receiver and team captain Brett Brackett denied them. Brackett said Paterno hasn't addressed the rumors with the team. "There's been a few things that have been said, but we're around Coach every day," Brackett said. "There's no truth to these rumors at all. ... Nobody understands how hands-on he really is, so we really know what Coach does."

Read more: http://www.tampabay.com/blogs/gators/content/lions-dismiss-paterno-retirement-rumors​
 
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