Best Jokes

buckeyebilly · Feb 13, 2007

True story,
Senator Hillary Clinton was invited to
> > address a major gathering of The American Indian
> > nation two weeks ago in upper New York State ...She
> > spoke for almost an hour on her future plans for
> > increasing very Native American's present standard
> > of living, should she one day become the first
> > female President.
> >
> > She referred to her career as a New York Senator,
> > how she had signed "YES" for every Indian issue that
> >came to her desk for approval. Although the Senator
> > was vague on the details of her plan, she seemed
> > most enthusiastic about her future ideas for helping
> > her "red sisters and brothers".
> > > > ****
At the conclusion of her speech, the Tribes
presented the Senator with a plaque inscribed with
> > **** her new Indian name - Walking Eagle.
> > **** The proud Senator then departed in her motorcade,
> > **** waving to the crowds. A news reporter later inquired
> > **** of the group of chiefs of how they had come to
> > **** select the new name given to the Senator. They
> > **** explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a
> > **** bird so full of shit it can no longer fly.

JoJaBuckeye · Feb 13, 2007

Steve19;747657; said:
A quick thank you to everyone who has posted in the Best Jokes thread. I cut and paste these into emails and send to my son, who is serving with the US Army 101st Airborne at Baghdad Airport as a helicopter repairman. He says the jokes really help the guys get through their 12-16 hour days. Thanks again to everyone.

Be sure to tell him how much we appreciate his service to us. God bless him and his buddies.

buckeyebilly · Feb 14, 2007

Snow Day

One winter morning a husband and his blonde wife in central Ohio were listening to the radio during breakfast when they heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through." So the good wife went out and moved her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radioannouncer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through." Again, the good wife went out and moved her car.
The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radioannouncer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park..." Just at that moment, the electric power went out. The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said,?Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?"
With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, the husband replied, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"

MightbeaBuck · Feb 14, 2007

It was Operation Iraqi Freedom, and the captain was attempting to rally the troops on the eve of a big offensive.

"Out there," said the captain, gesturing toward Falluja, "is your enemy. The man who has made your life miserable, who is working to destroy you; the man who has been trying to kill you day after day throughout this war."

There was a momentary pause, after which Private Johnson jumped to his feet exclaiming: "My God! The cook's working for the insurgents!"

ScriptOhio · Feb 14, 2007

buckeyebilly;750156; said:
True story,
Senator Hillary Clinton was invited to
> > address a major gathering of The American Indian
> > nation two weeks ago in upper New York State ...She
> > spoke for almost an hour on her future plans for
> > increasing very Native American's present standard
> > of living, should she one day become the first
> > female President.
> >
> > She referred to her career as a New York Senator,
> > how she had signed "YES" for every Indian issue that
> >came to her desk for approval. Although the Senator
> > was vague on the details of her plan, she seemed
> > most enthusiastic about her future ideas for helping
> > her "red sisters and brothers".
> > > > ****
At the conclusion of her speech, the Tribes
presented the Senator with a plaque inscribed with
> > **** her new Indian name - Walking Eagle.
> > **** The proud Senator then departed in her motorcade,
> > **** waving to the crowds. A news reporter later inquired
> > **** of the group of chiefs of how they had come to
> > **** select the new name given to the Senator. They
> > **** explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a
> > **** bird so full of shit it can no longer fly.

I thought that I remembered it: http://www.buckeyeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?p=185931&highlight=Walking+Eagle#post185931

buckeyebilly · Feb 15, 2007

ScriptOhio;751872; said:
I thought that I remembered it: http://www.buckeyeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?p=185931&highlight=Walking+Eagle#post185931

Sorry, it was new to me.

ScriptOhio · Feb 15, 2007

[FONT=tahoma,sans-serif][FONT=tahoma,sans-serif]This is why you should always demand a second opinion:[/FONT]

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[FONT=tahoma,sans-serif][FONT=tahoma,sans-serif] The doctor said,

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