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- Start date
ScriptOhio
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
Only the Irish have Jokes Like These
Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he’d just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken,his face
is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender." Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy."That little shit, O'Conner," says Sean,"he couldn't do that to you. He must have had something in his hand." "That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it." ” Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself,didn't you have something in your hand?" "That I did," said Paddy."Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."
*****************************************************************
An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course his car is weaving violently all over the road.
A cop pulls him over."So," says the cop to the driver, "where have ya been?" " Why, I've been to the pub of course,"slurs the drunk.” Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quitea few to drink this evening."
"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.”Did you know," say's the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest,"that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?""Oh, thanks heavens," sighs the drunk."For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
******************************************************************
Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual,when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks."I've somethin' to tell ya"."Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim.But where is my husband?””That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda. "there was an accident down at the Guinness brewery…"
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."
"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamusis dead and gone. I'm sorry."Finally, she looked up at Tim."How did it happen, Tim?"
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vatof Guinness Stout and drowned."
"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"
"Well, Brenda... No. In fact, He got out three times to pee.”
******************************************************************
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible.Tell me Mary, did he have any last requests?"She says, "That he did, Father."
The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary? "
She says, He said,'Please Mary, put down that damn gun...'
****************************************************
AND THE BEST FOR LAST
Adrunk staggers into a Catholic Church,enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get hisattention
but the drunk continues to sit there.
Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin',there's no
paper on this side either!"
Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he’d just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken,his face
is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender." Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy."That little shit, O'Conner," says Sean,"he couldn't do that to you. He must have had something in his hand." "That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it." ” Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself,didn't you have something in your hand?" "That I did," said Paddy."Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."
*****************************************************************
An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course his car is weaving violently all over the road.
A cop pulls him over."So," says the cop to the driver, "where have ya been?" " Why, I've been to the pub of course,"slurs the drunk.” Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quitea few to drink this evening."
"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.”Did you know," say's the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest,"that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?""Oh, thanks heavens," sighs the drunk."For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
******************************************************************
Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual,when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks."I've somethin' to tell ya"."Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim.But where is my husband?””That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda. "there was an accident down at the Guinness brewery…"
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."
"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamusis dead and gone. I'm sorry."Finally, she looked up at Tim."How did it happen, Tim?"
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vatof Guinness Stout and drowned."
"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"
"Well, Brenda... No. In fact, He got out three times to pee.”
******************************************************************
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible.Tell me Mary, did he have any last requests?"She says, "That he did, Father."
The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary? "
She says, He said,'Please Mary, put down that damn gun...'
****************************************************
AND THE BEST FOR LAST
Adrunk staggers into a Catholic Church,enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get hisattention
but the drunk continues to sit there.
Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin',there's no
paper on this side either!"
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0
My goal for 2016 is to lose just 10 pounds. Only 15 to go.
Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons & tomatoes.
Really, just one big, round crouton ... covered with tomato sauce... and cheese.
FINE, it was a pizza. I ate a pizza.
Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons & tomatoes.
Really, just one big, round crouton ... covered with tomato sauce... and cheese.
FINE, it was a pizza. I ate a pizza.
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ScriptOhio
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
A teenager and a senior go into a pastry shop.
The teenager whisks three cookies into his pocket with lightning speed. The baker doesn't notice.
The teenager says to the senior, "You see how clever I am? An old man like you could never beat that!"
The senior says to the teen, "Watch and learn."
He says to the baker, "If you give me a cookie I'll show you a magic trick!" The baker gives him a cookie, which the senior promptly eats.
Then he says to the baker, "I’ll need another cookie for the magic trick." The baker is getting suspicious, but he gives it to him. The senior eats this one too.
Then he says again, "One last cookie please and the magic trick will be complete." The baker is getting angry now but, having gone this far, gives him one more cookie anyway. The senior eats this one too.
Now the baker is really mad, and he yells, "OK... And now where is your famous magic trick?"
The senior says..."Now look in this kid’s pocket!"
The teenager whisks three cookies into his pocket with lightning speed. The baker doesn't notice.
The teenager says to the senior, "You see how clever I am? An old man like you could never beat that!"
The senior says to the teen, "Watch and learn."
He says to the baker, "If you give me a cookie I'll show you a magic trick!" The baker gives him a cookie, which the senior promptly eats.
Then he says to the baker, "I’ll need another cookie for the magic trick." The baker is getting suspicious, but he gives it to him. The senior eats this one too.
Then he says again, "One last cookie please and the magic trick will be complete." The baker is getting angry now but, having gone this far, gives him one more cookie anyway. The senior eats this one too.
Now the baker is really mad, and he yells, "OK... And now where is your famous magic trick?"
The senior says..."Now look in this kid’s pocket!"
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ScriptOhio
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
After my recent Prostate Exam at the Mayo Clinic,
which was one of the most thorough examinations I've ever had,
the Doctor left and the nurse came in.
As she shut the door, she asked me a question I didn't want to hear....
She said...."Who was that guy ? "
which was one of the most thorough examinations I've ever had,
the Doctor left and the nurse came in.
As she shut the door, she asked me a question I didn't want to hear....
She said...."Who was that guy ? "
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ScriptOhio
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
Two whales, a male and female, are swimming off the coast of Japan when the male whale looks up and sees the whaling ship that killed his father five years ago.
Excited at the opportunity to avenge his father’s death, the male whale says to the female, “Let’s go underneath the ship and blow air through our blow holes. That should knock their boat over, and make them think twice about killing innocent whales again.”
Reluctantly, the female whale agrees, and the plan works perfectly. Once the whaling ship has completely sunk the male whale notices that most of the sailors are making their way to the shore by either swimming or in lifeboats. Not willing to let them get away so easily, the male whale tells his mate, “Look! They’re trying for the shore – Let’s go gobble them up!”
But the female whale suddenly becomes less cooperative. She says,
“Look, I went along with ya’ on that blow job, but there’s no way I’m swallowing seamen!”
Excited at the opportunity to avenge his father’s death, the male whale says to the female, “Let’s go underneath the ship and blow air through our blow holes. That should knock their boat over, and make them think twice about killing innocent whales again.”
Reluctantly, the female whale agrees, and the plan works perfectly. Once the whaling ship has completely sunk the male whale notices that most of the sailors are making their way to the shore by either swimming or in lifeboats. Not willing to let them get away so easily, the male whale tells his mate, “Look! They’re trying for the shore – Let’s go gobble them up!”
But the female whale suddenly becomes less cooperative. She says,
“Look, I went along with ya’ on that blow job, but there’s no way I’m swallowing seamen!”
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ScriptOhio
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
I was coming back from visiting my son in Miami and I stopped at a rest stop to use the bathroom. I just sat down on the toilet when I heard a voice coming from the stall next to mine, “Hey! How’s it going?” Although I was quite surprised, and I wasn’t in the habit of conversing to the people next to me in the stall, I nevertheless answered him, “I’m fine” I said “thanks for asking.” “What are you doing?” Asked the same voice. To be honest I was a bit taken aback by the brazenness of this fellow, but I would never ignore anyone so I calmly answered, “I’m relieving myself.” Then I heard the same voice again, “I’m going to have to call you back, some smart-aleck is answering all of my questions.”
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Someone asked me which professional sports teams I root for.
I replied, "The Cleveland Browns, the Cincinnati Reds and the Cleveland Cavaliers."
I replied, "The Cleveland Browns, the Cincinnati Reds and the Cleveland Cavaliers."
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A desperate looking woman stood poised on the edge of a high bridge, about to jump off.
A disgusting tramp wandering by stopped and said, "Hey, since you'll be dead in a few minutes, and it won't matter to you, how about a quickie before you go?"
She screamed, "NO! Fuck off you filthy old bastard"
He shrugged and turned away saying, "Okay, I'll just go around and wait at the bottom then."
She didn't jump.........
Suicide counseling works
A disgusting tramp wandering by stopped and said, "Hey, since you'll be dead in a few minutes, and it won't matter to you, how about a quickie before you go?"
She screamed, "NO! Fuck off you filthy old bastard"
He shrugged and turned away saying, "Okay, I'll just go around and wait at the bottom then."
She didn't jump.........
Suicide counseling works
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ScriptOhio
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
Three blondes are sitting in a boat
holding fishing poles with the lines in the water.
A Game Warden comes up in his boat behind them,
taps them on the shoulder and says
“Excuse me, ladies, I’d like to see your fishing licenses.”
“We don’t have any,” replied the first blonde.
“Well, if you’re going to fish,
you need fishing licenses,”
said the Game Warden.
“But officer,”
replied the second blonde, “we aren’t fishing.
We all have magnets at the end of our lines
and we’re collecting debris off the bottom of the river.”
The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and,
sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line.
“Well, I know of no law against it,” said the Game Warden.
“Take all the debris you want.
And with that, he left.
As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight,
the three blondes started laughing hysterically.
“What a dumb Fish Cop,”
the second blonde said to the other two.
“Doesn’t he know that there are steelhead trout in this lake?”
holding fishing poles with the lines in the water.
A Game Warden comes up in his boat behind them,
taps them on the shoulder and says
“Excuse me, ladies, I’d like to see your fishing licenses.”
“We don’t have any,” replied the first blonde.
“Well, if you’re going to fish,
you need fishing licenses,”
said the Game Warden.
“But officer,”
replied the second blonde, “we aren’t fishing.
We all have magnets at the end of our lines
and we’re collecting debris off the bottom of the river.”
The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and,
sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line.
“Well, I know of no law against it,” said the Game Warden.
“Take all the debris you want.
And with that, he left.
As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight,
the three blondes started laughing hysterically.
“What a dumb Fish Cop,”
the second blonde said to the other two.
“Doesn’t he know that there are steelhead trout in this lake?”
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ScriptOhio
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
The Shave
An old cowboy walks into a barbershop in Red Lodge, Montana for a shave and a haircut. He tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age.
The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old cowboy to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin. When he's finished, the old cowboy tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he'd had in years, but he wanted to know what would have happened if he had accidentally swallowed the little ball.
The barber replied, no problem, just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does.
An old cowboy walks into a barbershop in Red Lodge, Montana for a shave and a haircut. He tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age.
The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old cowboy to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin. When he's finished, the old cowboy tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he'd had in years, but he wanted to know what would have happened if he had accidentally swallowed the little ball.
The barber replied, no problem, just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does.
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ScriptOhio
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
Mathematics:
What Makes 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.
How about achieving 103%?
What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then: H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
And K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But, A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And, B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
And, look how far ass kissing will take you. A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there. Its the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.
Now you know why some people are where they are!
What Makes 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.
How about achieving 103%?
What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then: H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
And K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But, A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And, B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
And, look how far ass kissing will take you. A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there. Its the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.
Now you know why some people are where they are!
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LitlBuck
Kevin Warren is an ass
Jokes for the week. Some good some bad.
MONDAY
The mother of a 17-year-old girl was
Concerned that her daughter was having sex.
Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the
family's status, she consulted the family doctor.
The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any
attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion.
He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.
Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the mother told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.
The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother, saying,
'Oh mum! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!'
TUESDAY
A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher's hand.
He said, 'Vicar, I'll tell you, that was a Damned fine sermon. Damned good!'
The Vicar said,
'Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use profanity.'
The man said, 'I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five
Thousand dollars in the offering plate!'
The Vicar said, 'No shit?'
WEDNESDAY
Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.
With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel
appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.
After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, 'Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.'
The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a
large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.
'Gee, Mum,' he exclaimed. 'For me?'
'Just take two,' Brenda replied. 'The rest are for your father.'
THURSDAY
One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from
Bingo to find her 92-year-old husband in bed with another woman.
She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor apartment, killing him instantly.
Brought before the court, on the charge of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say in her defense.
'Your Honour,' she began coolly, 'I figured that at 92, if he could screw, he could fly.'
FRIDAY
A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Brisbane .
'The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.
However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?'
After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said,
'Wedding Cake.'
SATURDAY
Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word.
His mates at the club are all aghast.
At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, 'Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?'
Bob replies, 'Girlfriend? She's my wife!'
They are knocked over, but continue to ask.’ So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?'
'I lied about my age', Bob replies.
'What, did you tell her you were only 50?'
Bob smiles and says, 'No, I told her I was 95.'
SUNDAY
A group of Britons were travelling by tour bus through Holland.
As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through
The process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used.
She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing.
'These' she explained, 'Are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce.'
She then asked, 'What do you do in England with your old goats?'
A spry old gentleman answered, 'They send us on bus tours
MONDAY
The mother of a 17-year-old girl was
Concerned that her daughter was having sex.
Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the
family's status, she consulted the family doctor.
The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any
attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion.
He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.
Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the mother told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.
The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother, saying,
'Oh mum! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!'
TUESDAY
A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher's hand.
He said, 'Vicar, I'll tell you, that was a Damned fine sermon. Damned good!'
The Vicar said,
'Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use profanity.'
The man said, 'I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five
Thousand dollars in the offering plate!'
The Vicar said, 'No shit?'
WEDNESDAY
Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.
With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel
appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.
After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, 'Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.'
The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a
large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.
'Gee, Mum,' he exclaimed. 'For me?'
'Just take two,' Brenda replied. 'The rest are for your father.'
THURSDAY
One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from
Bingo to find her 92-year-old husband in bed with another woman.
She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor apartment, killing him instantly.
Brought before the court, on the charge of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say in her defense.
'Your Honour,' she began coolly, 'I figured that at 92, if he could screw, he could fly.'
FRIDAY
A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Brisbane .
'The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.
However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?'
After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said,
'Wedding Cake.'
SATURDAY
Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word.
His mates at the club are all aghast.
At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, 'Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?'
Bob replies, 'Girlfriend? She's my wife!'
They are knocked over, but continue to ask.’ So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?'
'I lied about my age', Bob replies.
'What, did you tell her you were only 50?'
Bob smiles and says, 'No, I told her I was 95.'
SUNDAY
A group of Britons were travelling by tour bus through Holland.
As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through
The process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used.
She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing.
'These' she explained, 'Are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce.'
She then asked, 'What do you do in England with your old goats?'
A spry old gentleman answered, 'They send us on bus tours
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MaxBuck
SoCal, Baby!
An American Jew enters into a bar and sees a Chinese guy having a beer. He walks over and gives the Chinese guy a huge back hander which lays the poor guy out on the floor.
"What was that for?", says the Chinaman.
"That", says the Jew, "Was for bombing Pearl Harbor you bast*rds!"
The poor Chinese guy is lost. He says "Hey wait, I'm Chinese, not Japanese, it was the Japanese that bombed Pearl Harbor."
The Jew says "Chinese, Japanese, you're all the same to me." So the Chinaman gives the American Jew a huge back hander that lays him out on the floor. The Jew is shocked.
"What was that for?"
"That was for sinking the Titanic"
"The Titanic!", says the Jew. "The Titanic was sunk by a iceberg!"
And the Chinese says "Iceberg, Goldberg, Spielberg, you're all the same to me!"
"What was that for?", says the Chinaman.
"That", says the Jew, "Was for bombing Pearl Harbor you bast*rds!"
The poor Chinese guy is lost. He says "Hey wait, I'm Chinese, not Japanese, it was the Japanese that bombed Pearl Harbor."
The Jew says "Chinese, Japanese, you're all the same to me." So the Chinaman gives the American Jew a huge back hander that lays him out on the floor. The Jew is shocked.
"What was that for?"
"That was for sinking the Titanic"
"The Titanic!", says the Jew. "The Titanic was sunk by a iceberg!"
And the Chinese says "Iceberg, Goldberg, Spielberg, you're all the same to me!"
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