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Airport annoyances

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One time, I flew out of Eppley Airport here in Omaha going to a business trip in Minnesota. They let me on the plane with all of my toiletries, including a huge bottle of aftershave balm.

I get ready to come back, the bastards in Minneapolis told me I couldn't have it on the plane. Here's how the conversation went:

TSA goon: "Sir, you can't have that bottle on the plane. It's too big."
Me: "I'm sorry, but they let me on in Omaha with this stuff. Why can't I take it with me now?"
TSA goon: "Well, every airport does things differently."
Me: "....aren't you a federal employee? What do you mean, 'you do things differently?'"
TSA goon: "Move on, sir. You're good to go."

Obviously I wasn't going to put up much of a fuss over aftershave balm. But I asked a lady who worked here for the TSA (goes to my church). Here's what she said:

"Yeah, the guidelines aren't clear, and haven't been since the TSA was formed. That's why I retired early."
 
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alexhortdog95;2212372; said:
One time, I flew out of Eppley Airport here in Omaha going to a business trip in Minnesota. They let me on the plane with all of my toiletries, including a huge bottle of aftershave balm.

I get ready to come back, the bastards in Minneapolis told me I couldn't have it on the plane. Here's how the conversation went:

TSA goon: "Sir, you can't have that bottle on the plane. It's too big."
Me: "I'm sorry, but they let me on in Omaha with this stuff. Why can't I take it with me now?"
TSA goon: "Well, every airport does things differently."
Me: "....aren't you a federal employee? What do you mean, 'you do things differently?'"
TSA goon: "Move on, sir. You're good to go."

Obviously I wasn't going to put up much of a fuss over aftershave balm. But I asked a lady who worked here for the TSA (goes to my church). Here's what she said:

"Yeah, the guidelines aren't clear, and haven't been since the TSA was formed. That's why I retired early."
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Here's an example of airport TSA doing things differently at different airports. In Chicago (ORD) I'm able to board the plane with throwing darts in my carry on but they don't like it so much in Detroit when you try to do the same. After making that mistake once, I made the mistake of leaving my son's cub scout knife in one of my bags. Sure as shit, walked right through ORD security. Realized my mistake in Denver and shipped it home.
 
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sparcboxbuck;2212712; said:
Here's an example of airport TSA doing things differently at different airports. In Chicago (ORD) I'm able to board the plane with throwing darts in my carry on but they don't like it so much in Detroit when you try to do the same. After making that mistake once, I made the mistake of leaving my son's cub scout knife in one of my bags. Sure as shit, walked right through ORD security. Realized my mistake in Denver and shipped it home.
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Here's another messed up thing the TSA clown in MN told me....
If you had a knife and you went through security, they take the knife from you, collect them, and melt them down at a plant outside of the city. The proceeds go to the state.

If you have alcohol and try to pass through security - they take the alcohol, pour it into some pit in the back of the airport, and it gets 'shipped' somewhere.

What a crock of crap.
 
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On a Southwest flight last week and sitting in the exit row by the window with a young lad (college boy) sitting in the middle. The announcement comes on to shut off all electronics, but of course he just can't be bothered to shut of his Iphone. The stewardess does her thing with all the instructions and then leans over and says

"What part of turning off all electronics don't you understand? An electronic item is something with an on\off switch, so turn that off."

Of course the minute she leaves he turns it back on....but it was funny to see the look on his punk ass face when she laid into him....
 
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buckeyebri;2275941; said:
On a Southwest flight last week and sitting in the exit row by the window with a young lad (college boy) sitting in the middle. The announcement comes on to shut off all electronics, but of course he just can't be bothered to shut of his Iphone. The stewardess does her thing with all the instructions and then leans over and says

"What part of turning off all electronics don't you understand? An electronic item is something with an on\off switch, so turn that off."

Of course the minute she leaves he turns it back on....but it was funny to see the look on his punk ass face when she laid into him....
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What's worse, though, is that they don't know what the iPhone "Airplane Mode" is...
 
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muffler dragon;2236775; said:
At least they don't charge you for it when they pull that [Mark May].
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I actually love it when they do that. No loading/offloading hassle.

What I hate is when booking a flight and the only connections available are with a layover less than an hour and a half. And the connecting airport is some behemoth like Dulles or O'Hare.

Freaking hate that. Especially since this flight is the last one out of the country for that particular night.
 
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Merih;2275986; said:
I actually love it when they do that. No loading/offloading hassle.

What I hate is when booking a flight and the only connections available are with a layover less than an hour and a half. And the connecting airport is some behemoth like Dulles or O'Hare.

Freaking hate that. Especially since this flight is the last one out of the country for that particular night.
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Come on... you can get across ORD in less than 20 minutes, end to end, if you don't have to go through security. Dulles is a bit worse... worst airport for a tight connection... Dallas, hands down. That place is huge.
 
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Thump;1645696; said:
After traveling this past weekend, a few annoyances that come to mind.

1) Why, why, why do people stand in line in the terminal to get on the plane that's 20 mintues from boarding as if it's first come, first serve. They seat you by row yet morons still stand in a line like it's a race.

2) People who upon landing get up and grab their carry-on from the above bin even though they're in row 46 of a 48 row plane and will not be de-boarding for 15 minutes. Sit down and freaking relax.

3) Airlines who call you and your spouse up to the counter to change your seats with no explanation only to find out that they've moved you out of the exit row so some other pilot and stewardess can sit their for their free ride home. I'm 6'3 so to say I'm a little bitter is an understatement.

4) When the stewardesses say it is now OK to turn on cellular devices and people frantically scramble to get to their cell phones like it's an oxygen mask in outer space. Jesus people, get a freaking grip!!

5) The morons that immediately get on their cell phones and proclaim in a boisterous voice, "I JUST LANDED."

That's all for now.
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I last flew in 1988, I don't plan on flying again.
 
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sparcboxbuck;2276306; said:
Come on... you can get across ORD in less than 20 minutes, end to end, if you don't have to go through security. Dulles is a bit worse... worst airport for a tight connection... Dallas, hands down. That place is huge.
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Ha ha, just did the deep bowls of F to the deep bowls of C at ORD in about 10-15 minutes to catch a flight, the hell with the bus.....
 
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buckeyebri;2276889; said:
Ha ha, just did the deep bowls of F to the deep bowls of C at ORD in about 10-15 minutes to catch a flight, the hell with the bus.....
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Any layover where I don't have time to get to Tortas Frontera is too tight.

It would help if they didn't start packing up at 915 for a 1000 close, however. You're really trying to get back to the South Side that quick?
 
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TheStoicPaisano;2276903; said:
Any layover where I don't have time to get to Tortas Frontera is too tight.

It would help if they didn't start packing up at 915 for a 1000 close, however. You're really trying to get back to the South Side that quick?
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It was a long day that started at 4:00 a.m. and ended with me getting home in Indy at 11:30 p.m. I probably could have drove faster and with less headache, but flying allowed me to work while traveling and avoid the fun of driving through Chitown on my way back and forth to the City of Brewers....
 
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buckeyebri;2276909; said:
It was a long day that started at 4:00 a.m. and ended with me getting home in Indy at 11:30 p.m. I probably could have drove faster and with less headache, but flying allowed me to work while traveling and avoid the fun of driving through Chitown on my way back and forth to the City of Brewers....
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Having done that drive once (CLE-MKE), it is a PITA. Hell, just going from Lincoln Park to Green Lake is a bitch.

I'll give the TSA folks at ORD some credit, they have the pre-check up and humming while EWR is still dragging their feet. It's a breeze.
 
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