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Thee Ohio State University News

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Scientists Announce Plan to Resurrect Afroduck​

Earlier this month, Ohio State biologists announced a new initiative aiming to resurrect Afroduck, the iconic white-crested domestic duck who was spotted frequently on Mirror Lake until his death in 2015. The legendary bird’s corpse was collected and taxidermied by Ohio State’s Museum of Biological Diversity.

“I want to make it clear that we aren’t attempting to clone Afroduck,” says Professor Meg Daly, the museum’s Director. “Cloning implies employing a scientific process, which is something we don’t really believe in. Our plan is to perform a variety of satanic rituals to bring Afroduck back from the dead.”

The first of these rituals, Professor Daly explains, will take place on Halloween night. “At midnight Afroduck’s body will be returned to Mirror Lake to bask in the moonlight, and we’ll stand in a circle while reciting passages from the Necronomicon. We’ll also bring a few sacrificial offerings: a bucket of fresh blood, the still-beating heart of a virgin (one of our freshmen has already volunteered theirs), a jar of frog spleens, that sort of thing. If all goes well Afroduck should be alive and waddling by 2 am and we can all go trick-or-treating afterward.”
 
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Speaking of graduation... May or June 2004, oldest was graduating from Fisher... 7000+ graduates streaming into the Shoe from 2 lines... pretty sure it was at least 115 degrees, pure sun... spent $150 for water alone... using binocs to find my son... surrounded by gorgeous girls in their bikinis
 
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9K freshman class is just absurd. They say applications set a record (80K), but I'm still very curious to see what changes there might be to the acceptance rate and class academic profile. In any event, it certainly is going to mess up the student-faculty ratios. We need to drop the acceptance rate to 35% (it's been around 50& for some time) and get the classes down to around 6500.

 
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9K freshman class is just absurd. They say applications set a record (80K), but I'm still very curious to see what changes there might be to the acceptance rate and class academic profile. In any event, it certainly is going to mess up the student-faculty ratios. We need to drop the acceptance rate to 35% (it's been around 50& for some time) and get the classes down to around 6500.

They're packing them in down there. For some reasons I won't go into, my kid (who is a freshman) got moved to a floor section of all Sophs in a newer dorm, all nice double rooms. At first she was annoyed because the sophs already had friends and routines etc.

Then she went to visit her friends in morrill tower. She likes her dorm now :lol: - and her program is small enough that she has multiple kids that are in 3 or more of her classes so she can make some friends that way.

The FAFSA rollout just threw a lot of uncertainty into the ecosystem and it will be a little easier to get the numbers back where they were going forward.
 
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Probably the best thing for us to do with so many of the other campuses having enrollment issues is use these big classes as leverage to cut some deal with the state and regents. We cap our classes at around 6500. In return, we get back our separate funding appropriation that was taken away in the 60s.
 
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Probably the best thing for us to do with so many of the other campuses having enrollment issues is use these big classes as leverage to cut some deal with the state and regents. We cap our classes at around 6500. In return, we get back our separate funding appropriation that was taken away in the 60s.
My sense is (and this could be totally wrong) was people were picking Ohio State because they weren't getting aid offers from places that need to give incentives to recruit. (That have otherwise nominally high price tags)

The MAC schools yolo'd and threw the cash at kids anyway. I know OU took a really big class last year so even if they were a little short (which I doubt) probably no big deal. Those places are going to be first choice from the reject list anyway.

So, my question is if Ohio State cuts its numbers, is the ultimate beneficiary Wright State and Akron or schools outside the system like Wittenberg and Marietta?

Does it matter?

This is of course the only year I will have a pile if anecdotal evidence but the number of kids I watched consider far flung, wide ranging option that landed in Columbus, Athens and Oxford at the end despite not having them on their early lists was stunning.
 
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The one angle I see that would be a positive would be if we kept our acceptance rate the same but misjudged our yield and a bunch of kids in the top quarter of the accepted pool ended up here instead of places like Northwestern or Vanderbilt. If, however, our acceptance rate jumped up over 60% and the academic profile of the class dropped, Slapshot Ted can hop back in his jet and fly the fuck off.
 
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The one angle I see that would be a positive would be if we kept our acceptance rate the same but misjudged our yield and a bunch of kids in the top quarter of the accepted pool ended up here instead of places like Northwestern or Vanderbilt. If, however, our acceptance rate jumped up over 60% and the academic profile of the class dropped, Slapshot Ted can hop back in his jet and fly the fuck off.
There's definitely some of that. I know of Michigan and Purdue accepteees staying home. I mean that's another price sensitivity thing. If you're unsure if you're going to get aid out of state at say Michigan, you're basically looking at 60k a year.

I can also tell you that I know a pile of really good kids that didn't get into OSU. Including kids that never got a grade other than an A. (My current conspiracy theory is "test optional" doesn't mean they aren't using AP scores in some cases)

That said, I am paying 10K a year more for my kid to go to Ohio State compared to OU, and if she wasn't in a professional degree program we'd probably have had a serious conversation about the comparative value.
 
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