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Reds tidbits 2016 (Sponge Bob Tight Canadian Pants)

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Mike80 said:
Plane crash. The Krem reaper survives....
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Nick-Offerman-Goddammit.gif
 
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Jaxbuck said:
RZ is doing their W/L prediction thread. The hive mind thinks this will be a better than 90 loss team.

The same one that lost 98 least year and got markedly worse.

I predicted 109 and 230+ BB for Gizmo.

Going to track it on here for something to do besides point and laugh all season.
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I'm with you. With no hope for this season, I'm rooting for hilarity.
 
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Projected OD lineup:

Cozart 6
E Suarez 5
Gizmo 3
GIBP 4
Bruce 9
Cat Puncher 2
Adam Duvall 7
Julio Inglesias 1
Billy fucking Hamilton 8

:slappy:

Putting Phillips in a position to hammer the maximum possible amount of ground balls to the middle infielders after Gizmo's glacially slow ass takes yet another walk is an especially bold strategy from Price.

This should go well
 
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The more I look at that lineup the funnier it gets

Opponent pitching strategy:

#1 hitter: knock bat out of his hands with good fastball. One out.
#2 hitter: no idea who he is but he is a Red so I'm sure he sucks: 2 outs
#3 hitter: IBB. seriously. every time..
#4 hitter: GIBP (if #2 guy somehow gets on). If not then FC, either fucking way...inning over.

#5 hitter: He hits straight ball very much. Sliders scare bats. Throw breaking balls away and enjoy the breeze on a hot day. 1 out
#6 hitter: pitch around him for a week or two until he gets hurt again.
#7 hitter: Who? 2 fucking outs.
#8 hitter: is a goddamn pitcher. inning over

#9 hitter: fastball..hands..knock bat out of. 1 out

lather, rinse repeat.
 
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Ho-ly shit! Who's fucking ready for some Reds baseball! :rofl:

I read some outstanding stuff in the Reds-Phillies preview...

...they'll settle in and get a reality check as the NL's two worst teams of 2015 open the season together.

The Philadelphia Phillies went 63-99, the NL's worst mark and their worst finish since 1969. The Reds were right behind at 64-98, their poorest mark since 1982 and the third-worst in franchise history.
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"We haven't had a lot of great reviews in the offseason," Reds manager Bryan Price said. "We understand that. We understand where we are as an organization.

"It doesn't mean that we've lowered our expectations to go out there and compete in the division, not just to play hard but to win games.
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The offense should be better with catcher Devin Mesoraco and shortstop Zack Cozart back from injuries...
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"And we're going to score some runs and hopefully win a lot more ballgames than some people think."-Tucker Barnhart
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Any success in this opening series against the Phillies, should not be taken seriously. Kind of like last years lucky 5-0 start.

Lots of good times ahead, gentlemen.

ESPN link so don't click
http://espn.go.com/mlb/preview?gameId=360404117
 
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Just when I thought life couldn't possibly get any worse.....it's opening day. The excitement is palpable.

1/2 game lead on the whiny bitches, though. Take a picture of the standings now because this shit ain't going to last.
 
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