QB Kirk ‘Nightmare On’ Herbstreit (Frosted Quips, Afraid of THE Lunatic Fringe)

[ORD_Buckeye]

When he said, "I'm not gonna sit here and make excuses...when I finished all my work for that day, I couldn't even remember my own name."

-no.

Good God. You get paid an unreasonable amount of money to talk about college football. It's not like you just finished a 12 hour day in a fucking coal mine.

 

[NFBuck]

I've met the guy...he's a very pleasant person and was really nice to everyone. Seemed genuinely likelable, so I'm predisposed to like him. That said, his actions prove that he's a world class ass clown and I don't like him at all.

 

[BuckeyeBill]

Yeah, I am finishing up listening to the crap that is coming out of his mouth.

Here is a couple of the "highlights":

He doesn't look at records when filing out his ballots, yet contracdicts himself later.

Wiscy beat OSU head to head during the regular season, and even though they lost their bowl, Wiscy deserves to be ranked ahead of them. Apparantly bowl wins don't mean jack for the final rankings.

Oklahoma "looks" better than OSU and has more "potential" than OSU. How in the hell does the 2010 OK team has more potential than the 2010 OSU team? The bowl games were the final game for the 2010 season. Great logic there.

He went on to whine about how those of us who tore apart his rankings are "irrational fans" and he hopes to be with more "rational fans" on a cruise he is going on soon.

Whatever. I lost a lot of respect for him when he made the comments about how offensice recruits should look elsewhere than Ohio State.

His opinion means absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things.

Based on the reaction exhibited in this thread, apparently it does. Unfortunately.

 

[NFBuck]

Good God. You get paid an unreasonable amount of money to talk about college football. It's not like you just finished a 12 hour day in a [censored]ing coal mine.

Bronzer and getting your hair did takes a lot out of a guy.

 

[billmac91]

Yeah, I am finishing up listening to the crap that is coming out of his mouth.

Here is a couple of the "highlights":

He doesn't look at records when filing out his ballots, yet contracdicts himself later.

Wiscy beat OSU head to head during the regular season, and even though they lost their bowl, Wiscy deserves to be ranked ahead of them. Apparantly bowl wins don't mean jack for the final rankings.

Oklahoma "looks" better than OSU and has more "potential" than OSU. How in the hell does the 2010 OK team has more potential than the 2010 OSU team? The bowl games were the final game for the 2010 season. Great logic there.

He went on to whine about how those of us who tore apart his rankings are "irrational fans" and he hopes to be with more "rational fans" on a cruise he is going on soon.

Whatever. I lost a lot of respect for him when he made the comments about how offensice recruits should look elsewhere than Ohio State.

His opinion means absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things.

But unfortunately it does. When a prominent OSU alum on national TV doesn't even believe in his alma mater, why should some Harris Poll voter in California or Florida?

His over the top "unbiased" analysis punishes his home team in an effort to look better nationally.

 

[Jaxbuck]

I refuse to listen to anything "Fire Starter" has to say (even on broadcasts), but it's funny that his ranking was the same as Chris Fowler's (half-asleep must be contagious).

I always compare "Fire Starter" to Jay Bilas in a sense. Bilas seems to have informed views, doesn't rely on cliches, and doesn't seem to outwardly try to disassociate himself with his alma mater in Duke.

But Jay Bilas was a former coach and current attorney.

Herbie frosts his hair and tans.

His excuses are like those of people caught being racist (I have African-American friends).

Hey I was in the Army with a lot of black guys and they would agree with me that Herbie is a jive ass mofo.

 

[Bucklion]

But unfortunately it does. When a prominent OSU alum on national TV doesn't even believe in his alma mater, why should some Harris Poll voter in California or Florida?

His over the top "unbiased" analysis punishes his home team in an effort to look better nationally.

It's actually worse than that...when a smug Ken Doll assclownicus on TV starts naming players who did shit wrong when they didn't, people are going to look at those players differently because he is "from Columbus" and has his "finger on the pulse of OSU" to the general public. Which is still what sticks in my craw, and will not ever stop doing it. It would be bad enough had he outed 5 Auburn players or TCU players or North Dakota players on TV who didn't do anything, but when it's OSU people take it like gospel because he lives in Columbus and went there...and THEN factor in the fact he KNOWS how his beloved network crucifies OSU and how the general public's perception of OSU is, and it gets even worse than that...but I can stop there.

All he does when he whines and bitches and moans about fans hating his overrated fake-tanned Ken Doll ass is expose himself as a gutless dillhole who pulls shit out of his ass and then can't figure out a way to defend it without playing the victim card. Yo, Kenny D, go back to Fowler and Poopsie and leave OSU be. For good.

 

[NFBuck]

out of his ass and then can't figure out a way to defend it without playing the victim card. Yo, Kenny D, go back to Fowler and Poopsie and leave OSU be. For good.

Les Miles to scUM!

 

[Bucklion]

Good God. You get paid an unreasonable amount of money to talk about college football. It's not like you just finished a 12 hour day in a fucking coal mine.

And let's face it, a proud coal miner's daughter could have filled out a better ballot...

 

[Bucklion]

Les Miles to scUM!

Right, he knew shit about fuck then, and if somehow Tressel retired and he went on the air with "Bob Stoops to OSU!11!!!1!!!" or some shit the average person out there would give that more credence than usual because of his "connections to Columbus" even though he wouldn't know shit about fuck then, either.

 

[BB73]

"What did Ohio State really do at the end of the day to warrant being up in the top 5 other than not lose their bowl game and beating Arkansas?"

About the same as Stanford, whom he had no problem putting in the top-4.

And how many years has he been an AP voter? Acting like he was surprised his ballot was due 2 hours after the BCS TIle game is a joke - everybody knows when they're due, and that's why if somebody's a serious AP voter they'll fill out 90% of the ballot in the 2 to 3 days before the BCS Title game. And then it only takes a couple of minutes to finish it off after the Title game.

 

[Kirk Herbstreit]

40:50 mark - Herbie Radio Interview

Summary of explanation?

With pleasure, kind sir!

Hooley: What do you think I got the most emails about after the Sugar Bowl and after the Title game?

Uhhhh... in Columbus?

Yes sir

I'd say probably the votes in the AP.

*laughing* How'd you guess?

I got plenty of those too.

You know, as if... what is wrong with you that you don't have in your pocket you don't have your final AP vote from the regular season to work off of, which I know is what most people think that's what you had. But you had a little thing going on called, you know, the National Title game and gameday...

Yeah, exactly

...and what did you get, like fifteen minutes after the game to get your vote in?

Here's how my final poll worked is... andy I'm not making any excuses for my poll or where I put Ohio State or anything like that, but you're right Bruce. When you're not only calling the game, I did two hours of pregame before, then I called the game, then I did the postgame after, and then when I finished, I didn't even know what my name was.

Once I finished doing that, our research guy said, hey, you've gotta call in your AP vote. *laughing groan* Oh my God... are you kidding me? I've got to fill out the AP? So he and I are kind of going through it, and honestly, he helped me more than he probably needed to.

Once I got through the first four - with Auburn, TCU, Stanford, Oregon, all those teams - and you get to those next four to five teams, and you know, I didn't, uh, just so you know, with my AP vote, I don't ever look at, 'well this team has one loss, so they should be ahead of this team which had two losses'

One thing I knew for sure, Wisconsin beat Ohio State, you had to put Wisconsin ahead of Ohio State, in my opinion, even though Wisconsin lost their bowl game, they did beat Ohio State head to head, and that gave them an advantage in my opinion.

Probably with Oklahoma, it was more with the eye test, and knowing the potential of what Oklahoma can do, more than 'well they lost to this team, there, that team.' It wasn't necessarily... I don't every really look at it like that.

And then fresh off of the way the big ten in the bowl games on January 1st, I just thought that at the end of the day, as much as I want to put Ohio State at 2 - I'd love to put them as high as I can put them - what did Ohio State really do at the end of the day, to warrant being up in the top 5, other than not lose their bowl game and beating Arkansas?

So I just, you know, put them around that 8 or 9 mark, and I think I ended up putting them at 9.

And imagine if you're a Wisconsin fan, and all of these people voted Ohio State above Wisconsin. It's like wait a second, didn't we play, and beat em?

You know what, it's one of those things that no matter what you do, you're going to be ridiculed and made fun of, and told how bad you are at what you do?

I really put it down, and I'm not making excuses for it, it is what it is, and it has nothing to do with not loving Ohio State or not loving Terrelle Pryor or an axe to grind or I'm jealous of this... man this is getting old!

I've been doing this for fifteen years and if I ever do or say anything against Ohio State, I'm jealous! It's like... NO! Not at all. My kids are brainwashed Buckeyes. My wife is a former cheerleader. I'm a former captain. My dad is a former captain. Are you kidding me? Are you out of your minds? The fact that I even have to answer those questions is mind-boggling to me.

I mean they're even reciting "I remember in 04 [about the Alamo Bowl broadcast]". Are you kidding me?

I'm hoping by going on this cruise, that I'm going to have this experience of rational, sane Ohio State people to give me hope that there is still civility among the Ohio State fanbase.

Hooley: Good idea, we'll hope for it my man

Otherwise, I'll be in my cabin for 4 days.

Go bucks! Keep this basketball team going! What are they going to be in cleveland in round 1? Where do they go after that?

Hooley: Probably Newark

Then down to houston. Oh and Thad is my hero, he's the man.

Hooley: Thanks for coming on buddy

Take care fellas.

 

[Barwis]

Probably with Oklahoma, it was more with the eye test, and knowing the potential of what Oklahoma can do,

We had [censored]ing potential against UConn too.

more than 'well they lost to this team, there, that team.' It wasn't necessarily... I don't every really look at it like that.

I wish David Brandon had sought your counsel about our results, and didn't know what everyone else in the business knows about your football acumen.

 

[LightningRod]

Herbstreit - 0 gold pants, 0 Big 10 titles, 0 bowl wins, 1 SEC win

Pryor - 3 gold pants and counting, 3 Big 10 titles and counting, 3 BCS bowl games (2-1 record) with 2 wins and 2 BCS MVP awards and counting, 1 SEC win and counting

THAT is Herbstreit's problem.

 

[Bucklion]

I'll translate what he is thinking...

With pleasure, kind sir!

Hooley: What do you think I got the most emails about after the Sugar Bowl and after the Title game?

Uhhhh... in Columbus? (you know, cowtown?)

Yes sir

I'd say probably the votes in the AP. (because let's face it, the average Ohio State fan can't comprehend my complicated system)

*laughing* How'd you guess?

I got plenty of those too. (from the brainless wonks who are jealous of my tan)

You know, as if... what is wrong with you that you don't have in your pocket you don't have your final AP vote from the regular season to work off of, which I know is what most people think that's what you had. But you had a little thing going on called, you know, the National Title game and gameday...

Yeah, exactly (I mean, I need my beauty sleep to look good for Poopsie)

...and what did you get, like fifteen minutes after the game to get your vote in?

Here's how my final poll worked is... and I'm not making any excuses for my poll or where I put Ohio State or anything like that, (why would I need excuses?? I'm Kirk Freaking Herbstreit) but you're right Bruce. When you're not only calling the game, I did two hours of pregame before, then I called the game, then I did the postgame after, and then when I finished, I didn't even know what my name was. (But now I am once again aware it is Kirk Freaking Herbstreit)

Once I finished doing that, our research guy said, hey, you've gotta call in your AP vote. *laughing groan* Oh my God... are you kidding me? I've got to fill out the AP? (I mean, you know, I know nurses work on their feet for 16 hour shifts trying to keep people from dying and stuff, but I am taking about 25 big teams here!) So he and I are kind of going through it, and honestly, he helped me more than he probably needed to. (Primarily because besides USC and the SEC and Boise by Gawd State, I can't really remember any of the teams)

Once I got through the first four - with Auburn, TCU, Stanford, Oregon, all those teams (I spent 2 days tearing up about USC not being eligible, but I digress)- and you get to those next four to five teams, and you know, I didn't, uh, just so you know, with my AP vote, I don't ever look at, 'well this team has one loss, so they should be ahead of this team which had two losses' (Except when I do, which is for, you know, the SEC and USC and Boise By Gawd State)

One thing I knew for sure, Wisconsin beat Ohio State, you had to put Wisconsin ahead of Ohio State, in my opinion, even though Wisconsin lost their bowl game, they did beat Ohio State head to head, and that gave them an advantage in my opinion. (Of course I almost ranked them behind OSU to punish them for not playing my new favoritest team ever, Boise State, but in the end, TCU had purple, which is close to blue, so I forgave them).

Probably with Oklahoma, it was more with the eye test, and knowing the potential of what Oklahoma can do, more than 'well they lost to this team, there, that team.' It wasn't necessarily... I don't every really look at it like that. (In other words, I have entirely different standards for certain teams, and OSU fans are just sore about it because they don't work at ESPN and don't get to gawk at Erin Andrews for hours a night)

And then fresh off of the way the big ten in the bowl games on January 1st, I just thought that at the end of the day, as much as I want to put Ohio State at 2 - I'd love to put them as high as I can put them (As long as it doesn't interfere with my attempts to get honorary degrees from Boise State, USC, and the SEC, and hey, those teams are always better anyway)- what did Ohio State really do at the end of the day, to warrant being up in the top 5, other than not lose their bowl game and beating Arkansas? (I mean, what do teams do most other than win and not lose? It's not like they're Boise State, USC, or the SEC)

So I just, you know, put them around that 8 or 9 mark, and I think I ended up putting them at 9. (I'll play it coy here and act like I don't remember, that will really piss off the local rednecks)

And imagine if you're a Wisconsin fan, and all of these people voted Ohio State above Wisconsin. It's like wait a second, didn't we play, and beat em? (I mean, everyone knows the other 12 games during the season don't count...wait, did people vote Nevada ahead of Boise Freaking State? That's a crime...a CRIME, I tell you)

You know what, it's one of those things that no matter what you do, you're going to be ridiculed and made fun of, and told how bad you are at what you do? (It's not my fault ESPN worded my contract that I have to like who they tell me to and the OSU fans aren't as intelligent as me...must be easier to get a degree there now)

I really put it down, and I'm not making excuses for it, it is what it is, and it has nothing to do with not loving Ohio State or not loving Terrelle Pryor or an axe to grind or I'm jealous of this... man this is getting old! (I mean, it's not like I can recite verbatim at a moment's notice all the reasons people are taking shots at me, like I sit around and think about these issues all the time or anything...no, really...no, really, I don't think about it at all...)

I've been doing this for fifteen years (therefore that means I MUST be good at it) and if I ever do or say anything against Ohio State, I'm jealous! It's like... NO! Not at all. My kids are brainwashed Buckeyes. (I mean think about it, I can dress them up in OSU gear and all the ladies watching go "awwwwww" and that lets me have arguments like this one) My wife is a former cheerleader. (yes guys, I am married to a cheerleader, and your ladies probably think I'm hot too...no wonder all you ignorant rednecks hate me) I'm a former captain. (And I produced the greatest victory in Buckeye history. Just ask Gee, who I trust as gospel with everything except his opinion of Boise State) My dad is a former captain. (So there, all you first generation grads have no right to criticize me at all) Are you kidding me? Are you out of your minds? The fact that I even have to answer those questions is mind-boggling to me. (Again, do I have to remind you? I am Kirk Freaking Herbstreit. Your ladies come to see me, you men want to be me, I shouldn't have to explain anything to anyone ever...even though I am on a radio talk show)

I mean they're even reciting "I remember in 04 [about the Alamo Bowl broadcast]". Are you kidding me? (People are still sore about that? I mean the shit I did during the Boise State bowl game was WAAAYYY worse, and that wasn't that long ago...can't you people move on?)

I'm hoping by going on this cruise, that I'm going to have this experience of rational, sane Ohio State people to give me hope that there is still civility among the Ohio State fanbase. (In other words, the rich people who can afford to go on cruises will be much more refined than the average braindead Ohio State fan, who all can't get over me. They will know and tell me how great I am, and that will reinforce how stupid the other 90% of Buckeye nation is. Everyone knows that if you disagree with me, you are automatically an uncivil simpleton...it's the American Way. And this way I get a real tan for a change too...that will make me unstoppable. So, as my good friend and personal hero LeBron would say "Hatahs gonna hate")

Hooley: Good idea, we'll hope for it my man

Otherwise, I'll be in my cabin for 4 days. (I mean imagine it, having to converse with the simpletons who watch TV and pay my salary)

Go bucks! Keep this basketball team going! What are they going to be in cleveland in round 1? Where do they go after that? (See how great that was by me? I not only changed the subject, but threw in an OSU homer reference? Isn't everyone happy now? All of you idiots out there? Ya happy now?)

Hooley: Probably Newark

Then down to houston. Oh and Thad is my hero, he's the man. (And he probably loves me. This is SOOO going my way. Take that, all you hatahs)

Hooley: Thanks for coming on buddy

Take care fellas. (Wait, did I say fellas? I meant ladies...you are the reason I keep my ESPN gig. Hatahs gonna hate, ladies know where it's at though)