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Post Lines to ruin a first date

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Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.

Hi, I'm a necrophiliac, how good are you at playing dead?

How would you like your eggs for breakfast: scrambled, boiled or fertilized?
 
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"I've got us a reservation at White Castle."

"...and this other time, I got so drunk that I passed out on the floor of the entranceway of some fraternity house on the other side of campus. When I woke up, I was in the dumpster behind their house, naked, and a toilet plunger was up my ass. I pulled the plunger from my ass, and went inside to find my clothes. The next thing I realized, I was waking up in the dumpster again - again, naked with a plunger up my ass. I figured, you know.. third time's a charm, so I went BACK into the fraternity house..."

"I once played XBox for 29 straight hours. It would have been 30, but my mom made me take out the garbage."

"It took me, like, three hours to get the shading right on your upper lip."
 
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