You know what chaps my ass? M&M's. Not the peanut M&M's - those kick ass. I mean the regular, boring M&M's. Who do they think they are? They're just bandwagon New York Giants fans. And I'm not talking about the football team - the flippin' baseball team, who moved away from New York 500 flippin' years ago! And green highlighters! Who the flip uses green highlighters? It's just another way for "the man" to clog my desk drawer with useless stuff I'll never use. But, God forbid! I not have a green highlighter. But I'm on to them - I've secretly switched their normal Folgers coffee in the coffee maker with cheesecake. They won't notice. They're all a bunch of mindless jerks who can't wait for the bus to pick them up after work is done. Do they care that my hair has caught fire? Of course not! As long as it has nothing to do with their lunch, or their precious flamingos, they don't care two cents!
And, finally, we all must realize that without such great Americans John "The Banker" Hawthorn, Susan "High Wire" Barnmiller, and Fluffy "Johnson" Beauregard, there would never be a place known as "The Place."
