HARRY MILLER SHARES HIS STORY IN MOVING SPEECH AT OHIO STATE’S FACES OF RESILIENCE BANQUET
Even though he is no longer an Ohio State football player, Harry Miller was back in the spotlight at Ohio Stadium on Tuesday evening.
The former Ohio State offensive lineman was back in the Shoe as the keynote speaker of this year’s Faces of Resilience banquet, a benefit event for Ohio State’s Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Health. Throughout an 11-minute speech inside Ohio Stadium’s Huntington Club, Miller went into detail about his battle with depression, the suicidal thoughts he experienced and how he’s overcome those struggles in his journey to improve his mental health.
Miller’s speech brought many in the room to tears, including himself, as he recalled the lowest points he experienced a year ago that ultimately led to his decision to retire from football in March.
“I was a rising junior, I was training hard, improving my body. Agents were meeting with me, telling me with a good season, I could go in the second or third round (of the NFL draft), and within a year I would be $10 million richer. I was getting close with my teammates, trying hard to lead. I came in seventh out of the six captains voted for that season. August came, everything was in order. But it was not,” Miller said.
“I sat in front of my mirror and pressed my pointer and middle finger into the side of my head and wished I had a gun so that I could stop rehearsing my death and finally bring it upon myself. I walked through the Woody Hayes Athletic (Center) and the weight room with green bands hung loosely for players to stretch, but to me, they looked like nooses. I spoke with many of my friends, and when we said goodbye to one another, I understood the full weight of those goodbyes. Eventually, it became too much; something had to give one way or another. And that was when I began my journey to try to heal from what I was experiencing.
“... Several nights, I sat in front of my mirror, pressing a blade into my skin. I stared down at my reflection to see who would blink first. I pressed the blade harder until it ripped me and drew blood. I was in so much pain. I was so confused. This is the route that is laid out ahead of me? And all that is left for me to do it? But it was not. I did not. I fought to make it so. And that is so that I am here.”
After his speech concluded, Miller received a lengthy ovation from the audience, who stood up and applauded him for more than a minute.
“It felt very good,” Miller said after the speech when asked about the support he received on Tuesday night. “Just grateful that there were many times when things didn’t make sense, and now in hindsight, things like this make those things make sense. And so I’m very appreciative, very grateful and it was a really great night.”
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