1. Michigan - Fuck them.
2. Penn State - Generic in every sense of the word. I mean, even the fucking town is called "State College." Making it worse is that you can't get to the stadium from anywhere in the country. More? They have this lion roar which they play for any (or no) reason. It's very annoying.... much like their ridiculous fans. Invented the "Color out" phenomenon which I loathe. Also come up with bizarre insults like "Ohio isn't even a real State" Frat boys video tape themselves assaulting opposing fans and post on Youtube.
3. Indiana - If you beat Indiana 41-7 you're pissed that they even scored. If you beat them 21-0 you're pissed you didn't score more. It's funny watching them go toe to toe with Michigan, though.
4. Northwestern - In 2004 Northwestern upset Ohio State. Since then Tressel has quietly beaten the absolute shit out of Northwestern in the following manner: 48-7, 54-10, 58-7, 45-10. You're familiar with Tressel's reputation for offenses that don't run it up? Forget that when the Mildcats are across the field.
5. Minnesota - The Gophers are my second favorite team in the conference, but only because I was born in Minneapolis and have lots of family there. When Ohio State plays Minnesota, I expect the Buckeyes to beat the living shit out of them and I enjoy every minute of it. But... any school that has over 100 years of hating Michigan is OK in my book.
6. Michigan State - Dantonio is doing the best he can to change the culture of losing, but Sparty will always be Sparty. They've got one right hook in their bag every year, beating some team which is superior to them. When they use this punch, the will lose their next game regardless of opponent. Sometimes they use their right hook and still lose. Under Dantonio it's been better, but typically as soon as they get that first L they mail it in for the rest of the year.
7. Iowa - People always worry about the Iowa game like Iowa is some competition. They're not. Ohio State is 46-14-3 All Time against them.
8. Wisconsin - Fans will throw batteries, pennies stuffed inside of marshmallows, etc. at opposing teams and fans. Frustratingly strong against Ohio State, though. Not a fan of Beilema. I think he's a hack living off the success of Alvarez.
9. Purdue - If Purdue manages to put together a couple of decent seasons, they are not far away from going 3-33 over the next 3 years. Fans suck. Tried a "black out" in 2007 which was FAIL in ever sense of the word. Night game, national TV. By the 3rd Q you could hear O-H-I-O taking over their stadium. They also have a really big drum they wheel around.
10. Illinois - Basically, you put your team on Autopilot when you play Illinois. This sometimes backfires and you get an L (like 2007).
11. Nebraska - Honestly, Nebraska used to be #1 on my list of teams which are always ranked higher than they should be (Michigan and Notre Dame were 1b and 1c). That has since changed. Never really much cared for the Huskers and I root for Texas when the two play. I was glad when they went away from the triple option (and I will confess to thinking that it was incredible at how good they were with it, despite my distaste for it) and think Pelini is a good HC for you. I wouldn't mind seeing him come home to Ohio State after Tressel leaves, but figure that's not likely.
an inexcusable omission from my list 
