• Follow us on Twitter @buckeyeplanet and @bp_recruiting, like us on Facebook! Enjoy a post or article, recommend it to others! BP is only as strong as its community, and we only promote by word of mouth, so share away!
  • Consider registering! Fewer and higher quality ads, no emails you don't want, access to all the forums, download game torrents, private messages, polls, Sportsbook, etc. Even if you just want to lurk, there are a lot of good reasons to register!

ND JOKES

Jump to latest Follow Reply
Sort by date Sort by votes
A fellow walks into a bar, orders a drink, and asks the bartender if he'd like to hear a good Notre Dame joke.

"Listen buddy," he growled. "See those 2 big guys on your left? They were both linemen on the Notre Dame football team. And that huge fellow on your right was a world-class wrestler at Notre Dame. That guy in the corner was Notre Dame's all-time champion weight lifter. And I lettered in 3 sports at Notre Dame. Now, are you absolutely positive you want to go ahead and tell your joke here?"

"Nah, guess not," the man replied. "I wouldn't want to have to explain it 5 times."
Click to expand...
How do these stupid Michigan jokes get replaced with ND :) I'm sure the one about the coach's houses in heaven will surface soon.

Q: Why are they planning to resurface Notre Dame Stadium with cardboard?
A: Because the Irish always play better on paper.

Q: Do you know where Tom Osborne moved after he retired?
A: South Bend, he wanted to get as far away from football as he could.

This ones bad:
Q: What's the difference between Princess Di and the Irish??
A: ND makes it through the end of the tunnel before they get killed.
 
Upvote 0
ulukinatme;994528; said:
This ones bad:
Q: What's the difference between Princess Di and the Irish??
A: ND makes it through the end of the tunnel before they get killed.
Click to expand...

:rofl:

Most of these are old, but that's the first time I've heard that one.
 
Upvote 0
Q: HOW MANY FIGHTING IRISH DOES IT TAKE TI WIN A BCS BOWL GAME?
(ANY .....FOR THAT MATTER)
A: NOBODY KNOWS AND MAY NEVER FIND OUT.

THE BEST

Q: WHAT DO THE FIGHTING IRISH/ CW AND BILLY GRAHAM HAVE IN
COMMON ?
A: THEY BOTH CAN MAKE 80,000 PEOPLE STAND UP AND YELL "JESUS
CHRIST!!! "
 
Upvote 0
MililaniBuckeye;994013; said:
(how original you old crogitty fuck), and some other lame-assed joke. The old fuck should've painted his face blue, because his crooked-assed teeth were maize...
Click to expand...
:lol: at least he didn't have fucking road kill glued to his face.. how could you go on tv with facial hair like that buckeye had? gross.
 
Upvote 0
Q: You're stranded on an island with a cannibal, a murderer, and a Notre Dame fan. You have a gun, but there are only two bullets left. Who do you shoot?
A: The Notre Dame fan (twice.)

Q: What did the ND football player get on his final exam?
A: Drool.

Q: What do a call a 250 lb. Notre Dame Cheerleader?
A: Anorexic.
 
Upvote 0
Q: Why did Jimmy Claussen punch the side of Jimmy Johnson's NASCAR stock car?

A: He was tired of hearing how he couldn't hit anything blue in the numbers.


Q: Why did no one slow down when 2 Notre Dame tackles stepped onto I-80?

A: Notre Dame linemen couldn't block traffic.


Q: Why didn't Charlie Weis cash in his sweepstakes ticket?

A: He had no idea what "You're a winner!" meant.
 
Upvote 0
Q: How do you make a skunk smell good?

A: Place it in Notre Dame Stadium.


A man had three choices for his punishment of a crime.

First choice: Lifetime house arrest. He says no.

Second choice: A lifetime sentence without parole. The man pleads for anything else.

Third choice: Notre Dame season tickets.

The man says, "Give me life without parole. It's less painful."
 
Upvote 0
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top