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Headlines You Don't See Every Day (outside of Florida)

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*Move this, whatever. I don't care. It wasn't football-related for shenanigans, and I don't think it's heavily political enough for poli, or worth its own thread.
But, it does explain a lot...

Dryden said:
Undoubtedly the dumbest group of fans assembled in one place on the entire Internet
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Jaxbuck said:
dumbest fanbase in America
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There may be an explanation for that:

Court rules Michigan has no responsibility to provide quality public education

http://atlantadailyworld.com/2016/0...bility-to-provide-quality-public-education-2/

In defense of the members of the Michigan Court of Appeals, they have been getting their drinking water shipped in directly from Flint.
 
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Dead Woman, Capuchin Monkeys Found in Florida Motel: Police Look for Answers

A dead woman and two Capuchin monkeys were found in a south Florida motel room over the weekend, and the finding has left police of North Port baffled. The woman and monkeys were not alone when they were found. An incoherent man was also found inside the room, according to Daily Mail Online. Police are hoping that this man will be able to offer an explanation for the woman’s death. He was treated by medical personnel after the discovery.
.../cont/...
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Tim Tebow Beats Meat in ‘Lip Sync Battle’ Rendition of ‘Eye of the Tiger’ (Video)
https://www.yahoo.com/tv/tim-tebow-beats-meat-lip-sync-battle-rendition-184045629.html

Ummm, beating your meat still means jerking off doesn't it?

In a preview of Thursday night’s episode of “Lip Sync Battle,” the Heisman Trophy winner can be seen skipping rope, throwing jabs and beating meat while mouthing “Eye of the Tiger” before a rabid studio throng.

Coming out in Rocky Balboa’s signature sweats, the Heisman Trophy winner dazzles co-host Chrissy Teigen with a flurry of rope jumps before delivering some half-hearted blows to an itinerant side of beef and then closing with some air uppercuts to go along with his air singing.
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