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Headlines You Don't See Every Day (outside of Florida)

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Tomateaux Quinoa Gumbeaux said:
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Well that's TWO we got off the street.


When my grandson was about two his family was on a trip and he had to pee desperately. Hi Dad pulled over and let him pee on the tire on the side of the road.

A few days later they couldn't find him. When they looked in the garage he was out there peeing on the tire.

As we all know, peeing on a tire is the gateway excreta to pooping on a tire.
 
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Oh8ch said:
Well that's TWO we got off the street.


When my grandson was about two his family was on a trip and he had to pee desperately. Hi Dad pulled over and let him pee on the tire on the side of the road.

A few days later they couldn't find him. When they looked in the garage he was out there peeing on the tire.

As we all know, peeing on a tire is the gateway excreta to pooping on a tire.
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If peeing on a tire is wrong...
 
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www.fox35orlando.com

Drunk tourist sexually molests manatee statue at Florida restaurant after being asked to leave, deputies say

When staff confronted him, he “became belligerent” and “sexually molested” a manatee statue in the presence of staff and other patrons, the affidavit said.
www.fox35orlando.com www.fox35orlando.com
ST. PETE BEACH, Fla. - A tourist found himself behind bars after he drunkenly threw gator nuggets into a restaurant and "sexually molested" a manatee statue when staff asked him to leave, according to deputies.

Anthony Lessa, 23, was arrested and charged with disorderly intoxication after the incident that took place at two separate places in St. Pete Beach on Friday – Postcard Inn On The Beach and Rick's Reef Restaurant – according to an affidavit from the Pinellas County Sheriff's Office.

The man from Pittsburgh is accused of throwing gator nuggets into Rick's Reef Restaurant – and deputies found more of them in his pants pocket when he was arrested. According to the Rick's Reef Restaurant menu, "gator bites" are pieces of fresh, fried gator.

When staff confronted Lessa, he "became belligerent" and "sexually molested" a manatee statue in the presence of staff and other patrons, the affidavit said.

Lessa then ran off the property and down Gulf Boulevard toward his hotel, the Postcard Inn On The Beach. The hotel's manager called authorities after Lessa was "acting disorderly" near the front desk area. He was yelling and screaming obscenities at the front desk worker, according to the affidavit. When the manager asked Lessa to calm down and offered to escort him to his room, he refused to say what room he was in.

Lessa was then trespassed from the property, but he stayed in the parking lot, lingering and yelling more obscenities, the affidavit said. This caused a back-up in traffic and the "disturbing of the peace of several other guests waiting for rides," deputies said.

When deputies caught up with Lessa, they observed a strong odor consistent with an alcohol beverage and noticed his pupils were dilated in a high-light environment. He was also reportedly in a heightened state with a short-term memory implication, deputies said.

For example, Lessa continued to ask deputies why he was being arrested on "a loop," the affidavit said.

He was placed into custody near the hotel and transported to jail. He has since been released on his own recognizance, according to arrest records.
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