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Headlines You Don't See Every Day (outside of Florida)

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Jaxbuck said:
A little lighter bit of ironic goodness

www.nydailynews.com

Getaway car stolen from suspects robbing Colorado check-cashing business

Two men were arrested in Colorado after their getaway was stolen while they were robbing a check-cashing operation, police said. A third man remains at large.
www.nydailynews.com www.nydailynews.com
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Another light hearted story

www.dailymail.co.uk

Woman cuts off husband's penis 'after he bedded 15-year-old niece'

The 34-year-old woman, who has not yet been named, told officers in Atibaia, near Sao Paulo, in Brazil, that she had first teased her husband into getting into bed with her.
www.dailymail.co.uk www.dailymail.co.uk
A wife who cut off her husband's penis and flushed it down the loo has told police in Brazil she did it after finding out he had bedded her 15-year-old niece.

The 34-year-old woman, who has not yet been named, told officers in Atibaia, near Sao Paulo, in Brazil, that she had first teased her husband into getting into bed with her.

But after tying his arms and legs to the bed, she pulled out a razor and hacked off his manhood, according to local media.
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After taking a picture of the severed organ, she flushed it away down the lavatory, she confessed on December 22.

When she later handed herself in to police she told them she had flushed it away because she had 'heard that it was possible to reattach it.'
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awm.com

Plastic Surgery "Addict" Takes It Too Far And Now She May Never Walk Again

A woman who has two addictions – plastic surgery and social media – has just found out that the combination can be quite debilitating.
awm.com awm.com

Plastic Surgery “Addict” Takes It Too Far And Now She May Never Walk Again​


social-media-star-surgery-addict-mobility-scooter-1-400x500.jpg


A woman who has two addictions – plastic surgery and social media – has just found out that the combination can be quite debilitating. After undergoing surgery for the last time, Mary Magdalene, who claims to be in possession of “the world’s fattest vagina,” may no longer be able to walk. She came forward to say that she is now confined to a mobility scooter after her large butt and more than 20-pound breast implants cause her so much pain that she no longer can walk and requires a durable medical device to help her get around.
 
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www.wfla.com

‘My driveway is gone’: Florida woman says her entire driveway was stolen after listing home for sale

A Florida woman attempting to sell her home was left shocked and searching for answers after her entire driveway was “stolen” last month.
www.wfla.com www.wfla.com
TAMPA, Fla. (WFLA) — A Florida woman attempting to sell her home was left shocked and searching for answers after her entire driveway was “stolen” last month.

Amanda Brochu first shared her shocking story on GoFundMe back on Dec. 28. She said shortly after listing her Orlando-area home for sale, she began getting calls from people claiming they were “sent by a landlord to replace the driveway.”

The problem? Brochu owns the home and said she never needed a new driveway.

According to WFTV, Brochu’s son told her that people had stopped by the house to measure the driveway. The local outlet said Brochu counted five different contractors in the span of just a few days.

Then, one day when she came home, she found ripped-up grass and a muddy patch in the place where her once concrete driveway used to sit.

“I came home and my driveway is gone,” she told WFTV.

According to WFTV, Brochu had confronted one of the contractors, who said a man named “Andre” reached out to him to ask about a driveway replacement quote. The contractor said Andre claimed to be Brochu’s landlord.

“While I was preparing to head out of town for my birthday and Christmas with my kids, I received a ring doorbell notification that someone was outside of my house, ripping up my driveway before my eyes,” she wrote in her GoFundMe campaign.

Brochu added that by the time the cops got to her home, her driveway was “only dirt.”

She stated that when the cops called the number for whomever “requested” the job, “they first denied it and hung up on the cops, but then proceeded to text the cop ‘it was a mistake’ and sent the number of a supposed contractor that was actually the number to the Orlando Airport.”

“They said that he said it was a mistake,” she told WFTV. “He just got the address wrong, nothing else will happen again.” The next week, her driveway was gone.

The sight even left Brochu’s real estate agent, Rocki Sanchez, in disbelief, according to WSVN.

“Utter shock. I’ve never seen this before. I’ve never had this happen to myself or anyone in our office,” Sanchez said.

Sanchez told WSVN that she posted about the incident in a Facebook group for relators, who said they’ve “seen things like this happen” before. Sanchez said she believes Brochu is a victim of a scam.

“I had multiple people come forward saying that they’ve seen things like this happen — whether it be driveways, roofs, painting, even outside the exterior,” she told WSVN. “So it happens more often than we actually see it.”
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News from Florida:

Anger management therapist charged with murder after body found stuffed in trunk

A Florida therapist who specializes in anger management has been taken into custody and charged with murdering a man following an ongoing dispute.
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During the investigation, police located the body of 51-year-old Clinton Dorsey. He had been fatally shot and stuffed into the trunk of a vehicle near the intersections of Frankfort Ave. and New York Ave, WESH reported.

“There’s been a murder that happened,” a 911 caller told a dispatcher. “We got a couple of eyewitnesses, and I believe … the person right now he’s looking at the road, cleaning up the blood off the ground. I just saw him drag the body across the road. He put it in his car, and then he left.”

The witness added, “And then he came back, and not even 10 minutes ago he started scrubbing the road, and now I see him in the yard with a flashlight looking around.”

According to WKMG, Capt. Prurince Dice with the DeLand Police Department said, “Once we got to the area, we located some shell casings from a firearm and located some blood in the street.”

Police then discovered Dorsey’s body inside the trunk of McBride’s red Nissan Versa near the intersection of Frankfort Ave. and New York Ave., authorities confirmed.
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