Headlines We Would Like To See

[Gatorubet]

"72 Year Old Man Frightened By Strange African American asking for Change"

 

[ScriptOhio]

OK, everyone admit it, here is the headline that you would really like to see:

 

[xcrunner]

Ole Miss: 31 - University of Florida: 30

 

[JXC]

Ann Arbor: From 'No Way?!' to No More!
Minutes after huge comeback win against Wisconsin, meteorite lands in stadium and destroys city.

 

[mross34]

LeBron James On Pace To Become Youngest Player To Turn 22 | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

LeBron James On Pace To Become Youngest Player To Turn 22

CLEVELAND?According to official NBA statisticians, Cavs phenom LeBron James is currently on pace to be the youngest NBA player in history to reach the age of 22. "If James continues to age at this rate, the young forward will turn 22 on December 30 of this year," said Cavaliers public-relations director Amanda Mercado, who noted that NBA legends Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, and Kobe Bryant and "several others" currently hold this record, having all turned 22 at the exact same age. "We're confident that 'King James' can rise to this challenge and set yet another mark that experts once thought to be utterly impossible." Some NBA analysts who have kept track of James' temporal progress have speculated that James might skip his 23rd year altogether and go straight to 24.

 

[MD Buckeye]

LeBron James On Pace To Become Youngest Player To Turn 22 | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

 

[3074326]

"Pryor completes magical career with four Heismans and four NCAA titles"

Would be nice. :tongue2:

 

[buchtelgrad04]

"Mark May dismissed from ESPN; Now a 'Sanitation Engineer' at a Pittsburgh-area high school."

"Mark May dismissed from local high school, not qualified for job, sources say."

"[Insert USC or SEC coach's name] has tumor removed from penis; Mark May's saliva to blame."

 

[3074326]

"Mark May Dies"

 

[OCBucksFan]

Skip Bayless and Dan Fouts commit suicide after airport wide stance story breaks.

 

[Nutriaitch]

"Giant sinkhole of raw sewage consumes entire town of Auburn, Alabama."

"Plane carrying entire University of Alabama football team crashes into liquid shit on Auburn's Campus"

"Tennessee Coach, Phat Phil, eats himself to death after mistaking the sewage for a Chinese Buffet."

"Vandy wins SEC East"

 

[3074326]

"Vandy wins SEC"

fify

 

[Nutriaitch]

"Vandy wins SEC, continues SEC's dominace over Ohio State in BCS CG route 48-10"

fify

fifY

 

[sparcboxbuck]

Sarah Palin Under Fire for Series of Extramarital Threesomes with Pole Vaulter Allison Stokke and 24-year-old Hoboken, NJ Resident.

THIWWP

 

[Dryden]

"Vandy wins SEC, continues SEC's dominace over Ohio State in BCS CG route 48-10"

The E Gordon Gee Bowl?