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Headlines We Would Like To See

OK, everyone admit it, here is the headline that you would really like to see: :biggrin:

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:slappy::slappy::slappy:
 
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LeBron James On Pace To Become Youngest Player To Turn 22 | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
LeBron James On Pace To Become Youngest Player To Turn 22

CLEVELAND?According to official NBA statisticians, Cavs phenom LeBron James is currently on pace to be the youngest NBA player in history to reach the age of 22. "If James continues to age at this rate, the young forward will turn 22 on December 30 of this year," said Cavaliers public-relations director Amanda Mercado, who noted that NBA legends Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, and Kobe Bryant and "several others" currently hold this record, having all turned 22 at the exact same age. "We're confident that 'King James' can rise to this challenge and set yet another mark that experts once thought to be utterly impossible." Some NBA analysts who have kept track of James' temporal progress have speculated that James might skip his 23rd year altogether and go straight to 24.
 
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"Mark May dismissed from ESPN; Now a 'Sanitation Engineer' at a Pittsburgh-area high school."

"Mark May dismissed from local high school, not qualified for job, sources say."

"[Insert USC or SEC coach's name] has tumor removed from penis; Mark May's saliva to blame."
 
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"Giant sinkhole of raw sewage consumes entire town of Auburn, Alabama."

"Plane carrying entire University of Alabama football team crashes into liquid shit on Auburn's Campus"

"Tennessee Coach, Phat Phil, eats himself to death after mistaking the sewage for a Chinese Buffet."

"Vandy wins SEC East"
 
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