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I am going to act like a broken rubber and head out.
............................horse shit and hit the trail.
............................baby and head out.
to bust on a guy taking a piss: "he's got 5 fingers on it and pissing all over 3 of them."
for traffic light situations: "there's only 1 shade of green you fucking retard."
to emphasize how fine a woman is: "finer than frayed frogs hair"
harder than chineese arithmitic
more chins than chinatown
confused as a hungry baby in a titty bar
confused as a blind lesbian in a fish market
worn out as a cucumber in a convent
I could rattle of hundreds but they just come to me in conversation. My grandfather was the funniest guy in the world for this kind of shit, it was literally how he spoke and he knew them all.