Confirmed: Jessica Simpson, Not Hot!

[OCBucksFan]

I'd still bang her, no questions asked.

I agree, if she asked me "would I do her a favor" I'd be on and done before she could manage the "a favor" part.

 

[wadc45]

Rascal Flatts rocks, while opening act Jessica Simpson steals spotlight with bizarre opening set - Grand Rapids Movies, Music, Events and Entertainment ? MLive.com

It was a strange night Thursday in Van Andel Arena.

How strange was it?

So strange that while headliner Rascal Flatts capped the night with a fantastic, 100-minute multi-sensory overdose of pop, country and rock -- its signature hit-making formula -- another artist, opening act Jessica Simpson, inadvertently stole the spotlight.

I'm sure it wasn't planned that way.

The trio of Gary LeVox, Joe Don Rooney and Jay DeMarcus is easily one of country's most talent vocal groups, and the nearly 9,000 fans in attendance at Van Andel Arena appreciated every single song by singing, dancing and texting friends all night long.

All the hits were there, including "Life is a Highway," "Bless the Broken Road," "These Days," "My Wish" and the confetti-flying, balloon-dropping encore of "Me and My Gang" and "Bob That Head."

The guys were really that good.

But it was pop singer-turned-actor-turned-country starlet, Jessica Simpson, who generated the most reaction as she fought back tears, forgot her lyrics and mumbled her way through a bizarre 38-minute set.

It left fans talking more about her strange behavior than about her supposed weight gain, which by the way wasn't obvious in her short-shorts, black T-shirt and boots.

Almost from the opening song of "These Boots are Made for Walking," Simpson fought with her ear monitors, constantly trying to keep them in place, meaning she was having difficulty hearing her own voice. That's frustrating.

At one point she had her backing seven-piece band stop and start over on the uptempoed song "Pray Out Loud."

After that, she forgot the lyrics to her single "Come on Over," which left her extremely frustrated, asking for forgiveness from the audience by mouthing the word "sorry" on two large video screens.

Things got so bad that while introducing her closing song, "Do You Know," the title track of her country album, and a song she recorded with her idol Dolly Parton, the singer said there are times she feels like walking off the stage -- "like tonight." At the end of the song, she thanked her band for "having her back." And it looked as if she was wiping away tears as she walked off the stage.

And no boyfriend was in the house to console her. Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, who was rumored to be making the trip to Grand Rapids, was not in the audience. Or at least that's how Simpson played it, saying early in her set: "I'm so excited, I get to see my boyfriend tomorrow."

I'm sure tomorrow couldn't come quick enough.

 

[Tits McGee]

Still not hot - girl in the green isnt bad

 

[Buckin' A]

Anyone who says that they wouldn't drill that is a liar and a homo.

 

[Folanator]

Anyone who says that they wouldn't drill that is a liar and a homo.

Put me on the liar homo list.

 

[BrutusBobcat]

My girlfriend is hotter, knows how to do her hair and doesn't have cottage cheese thighs. I'm voting "pass".

 

[NFBuck]

My girlfriend is hotter, knows how to do her hair and doesn't have cottage cheese thighs. I'm voting "pass".

Yeah, but will she let you do "The Tony Romo"?

The Tony Romo
Have your girl leap across the room into your arms and then carelessly let her slip and smash her head on the coffee table. Then pick her up, take a [censored] all over the floor, and drop her head first onto the carpet while you flail around like a complete pussy. Then go [censored] an entire city.

Bonus points if you have the nerve to attend the Pro Bowl afterwards.

 

[BUCKYLE]

Still not hot - girl in the green isnt bad

I've done uglier, fatter and far less rich. I'd tax that ass like the I.R.S.

 

[Steve19]

This all reminds me of the transition of Linda Ronstadt away from a sexy image to her later "full-figure" image a quarter of a century ago.

I think sometimes that young women who attract so much attention for their sexuality may attempt to mask that by gaining weight, in order to attract attention for their vocal skills. The transformation of Ronstadt was quite dramatic, she even switched from folk rock to opera.

 

[LordJeffBuck]

Don't we already have a thread on Anna Nicole Smith...?

 

[Jake]

I've done uglier, fatter and far less rich. I'd tax that ass like the I.R.S.

I have to agree. Then again, I'm over 40 so my days of bagging hot 20-somethings are long gone unless I get a lot richer.

 

[BUCKYLE]

What the hell does that hot ass chick on the top right have to do with Roseanne?

 

[NFBuck]

What the hell does that hot ass chick on the top right have to do with Roseanne?

Cocaine is a helluva drug!

 

[Aaron Burr]

I'd still polish my pistol for Jessica's stimulus package...

 

[scarletandgrey]

Don't we already have a thread on Anna Nicole Smith...?

It died!