2023 tCun Shenanigans, Arguments, Cobras, Feckless Marmots, Fake Pandas, Dirty Cheaters

[Fungo Squiggly]

and let's not forget Qatar used slave labor to get the World Cup.
and in 1905, 10 kids died from playing college football.......why aren't we prosecuting those schools?
once I played tennis with Jared Schledorn, and he said the score was 40-15 when it was really 40-30. WHY AREN'T WE LOOKING INTO THAT?

Man, fuck Jason Schledorn. That guy is a professional douchebag

 

[Captain Buckeye]

This is our concern, Dude.

Yep. A press conference would already have been announced for later today. If it doesn't happen today, I have a sick feeling that Petitty is going to cave, and we'll have to watch dfbia and their clown president fist pumping that they've been totally exonerated. If Petitty doesn't act, I hope the other 13 Presidents show him the door real fast.

Eh, it’s early and this doesn’t have to happen today.

This could take a few days.

If nothing happens? Petiti is done… none of the schools other than Michigan will back him. I think he knows that.

 

[kujirakira]

My disappointment is immeasurable and my night is ruined.
Hope I wake up to better news.

 

[mattynokes]

Interesting comparison between OSUs response to the AP accusation against Ohio State and UMs response to Signgate.

Ryan Day got compliance involved and asked within his program if any of this happened. He took the initiative. He did not come back and say I have no knowledge or I am not aware. He checked things out and said clearly IT DID NOT HAPPEN.

No one from Michigan has yet to say signgate did not happen. Everything in their push back is about procedure.

And now I read that they have yet to even ask their staff if it happened - the simplest thing you could possible do.

The most obvious reason for why they have not done so is that they know the answer is not what they want to hear. If it is true that they have not asked this simple question it is clear an admission of guilt as I can imagine.

I mean, you don't ask questions in which you don't want to find out the answer. Because, then you get...

 

[Buckeye86]

You can nitpick all the way through the ten page letter, but I very specifically want to highlight the hypocrisy of the position that Harbaugh wasn’t the one who “committed an offensive action” and therefore can’t be punished (1B).

How about not preventing your subordinates from blatantly cheating is the “offensive action” you fucknuts. It’s really not that hard when the language is broad and gives broad discretion.

Moving back, 1A is a page and a half that says the conference usually prefers to defer to the NCAA on investigations. Pretty sure in completely unprecedented situations like this normal preferences (which aren’t hard rules) can be set aside.

Continue to do my best to read through this piece of garbage.

As has been clear the entire time, they’re not even trying to argue they’re innocent, they’re just desperately trying to stretch it out so they can play the games and maybe win a championship.

Edit: Section II’s title gives away that game immediately. “Disciplinary Action is Premature” in which the second sentence states “there is no reason to shortcut a full investigation in favor of summary punishment,” um, how about the reason is to punish blatant cheating in real time rather than let the cheating reap a potential trophy. As everyone has ALSO been saying, all this bullshit goes away if they lose a game and are no longer in title contention.

It also gives away the game when they use weasel language in section two. “We are aware of no justification the would permit the Conference to ignore these outstanding issues (editorializing: which is just “due process, vaguely defined as an opportunity for the University to respond, once again, please just let us waste everyone fucking time until we’ve gotten to play all our games) and impose an immediate sanction.”

They “aren’t aware,” which they again use here: “As far as we are aware, there is no current evidence suggesting that Michigan coaching staff knew about or participated in the alleged offensive conduct.”

Other than the dozens and dozens of pictures and videos of both coordinators speaking directly with Stalions on the sidelines before calling in their plays? It seems like the game they are trying to play is that the pre-scouting and recording are the rules violations, but using that illegally obtained data isn’t specifically against the rules… I’m no lawyer, but I hope that shit doesn’t actually fly, especially when the standard is something deemed to be an “offensive action.” Blatant cheating seems pretty offensive to me.

They couch all their bullshit arguments with “we aren’t aware” weasel language and then complain “given Michigan’s current inability to evaluate and respond to the evidence.”

So the end of page six seems to invalidate everything that came before it, to me, since they apparently haven’t even looked at any of the proof that would “make them aware” of what massive cheaters they are I.e. the “offensive actions.”

Edit: ha, these fuckers specifically complain they have no way to evaluate pictures and videos of Stalions on the sidelines described in the notice of allegations from the Big Ten because they weren’t provided in the email… you know, the ones that have been publicly available for two weeks?

And again, this DIRECTLY invalidates the previous “As far as we are aware, there is no current evidence suggesting that Michigan coaching staff knew about or participated in the alleged offensive conduct.”

Fuck. Off.

 

[Zurp]

The guy is robbing house after house. And there's more houses in the line. And the Big Ten's house is right down there. And Pettiti isn't going to stop him from robbing any more houses, and isn't going to stop him from robbing the Big Ten's house. Go after him when we've done "due process".
You can't un-rob a house, man. Step in and stop him now.

 

[osuvictory1]

This is laughable:

https://www.si.com/college/ohiostate/football/former-michigan-wolverines-kicker-jay-feely-accuses-ohio-state-buckeyes-paying-players

 

[Ryan36_1]

Eh, it’s early and this doesn’t have to happen today.

This could take a few days.

If nothing happens? Petiti is done… none of the schools other than Michigan will back him. I think he knows that.

This is how I feel, except I think it has to happen by tomorrow. Or you’ll have to answer to PSU what took so long after tCuns empty response.

 

[scarletngray]

"there is no reason to shortcut a full investigation..."
Then why did TTUN deny CS due process? By their own standards and reasoning they are hypocrites.

 

[osuvictory1]

The guy is robbing house after house. And there's more houses in the line. And the Big Ten's house is right down there. And Pettiti isn't going to stop him from robbing any more houses, and isn't going to stop him from robbing the Big Ten's house. Go after him when we've done "due process".
You can't un-rob a house, man. Step in and stop him now.

If nothing get's done, Petiti won't be there for long.

 

[Buckeye86]

It also gives away the game when they use weasel language in section two. “We are aware of no justification the would permit the Conference to ignore these outstanding issues (editorializing: which is just “due process, vaguely defined as an opportunity for the University to respond, once again, please just let us waste everyone fucking time until we’ve gotten to play all our games) and impose an immediate sanction.”

They “aren’t aware,” which they again use here: “As far as we are aware, there is no current evidence suggesting that Michigan coaching staff knew about or participated in the alleged offensive conduct.”

Other than the dozens and dozens of pictures and videos of both coordinators speaking directly with Stalions on the sidelines before calling in their plays? It seems like the game they are trying to play is that the pre-scouting and recording are the rules violations, but using that illegally obtained data isn’t specifically against the rules… I’m no lawyer, but I hope that shit doesn’t actually fly, especially when the standard is something deemed to be an “offensive action.” Blatant cheating seems pretty offensive to me.

They couch all their bullshit arguments with “we aren’t aware” weasel language and then complain “given Michigan’s current inability to evaluate and respond to the evidence.”

So the end of page six seems to invalidate everything that came before it, to me, since they apparently haven’t even looked at any of the proof that would “make them aware” of what massive cheaters they are I.e. the “offensive actions.”

Edit: ha, these fuckers specifically complain they have no way to evaluate pictures and videos of Stalions on the sidelines described in the notice of allegations from the Big Ten because they weren’t provided in the email… you know, the ones that have been publicly available for two weeks?

And again, this DIRECTLY invalidates the previous “As far as we are aware, there is no current evidence suggesting that Michigan coaching staff knew about or participated in the alleged offensive conduct.”

Fuck. Off.

And just to wrap this up real quick, they completely invalidate the entirety of Section III in the second sentence. “The only person at Michigan known to be implicated by the alleged conduct, Connor Stalions, was suspended […]”

You know, because for the purposes of this letter we’re pretending the publicly available pictures and videos that provide overwhelming evidence that Stalions was working directly with both coordinators on game days doesn’t exist.

Again- Fuck. Off.

 

[ScriptOhio]

How long should it take to read those pages, realize that there’s not even a denial in them, and proceed to hammer time?
I’m getting old, it’s not easy keeping this erection for more than 4 hours.

To help you out:

 

[Thump]

 

[Zurp]

If nothing get's done, Petiti won't be there for long.

But M*ch*gan can still go in and steal the Big Ten Championship. If Pettiti "does nothing", that's what they'll do. Then he's gone, and the next guy does... what? He says that the games are vacated or whatever. But so what? You can't get the ketchup back in the ketchup packet.

 

[Buckeye86]

So just a real quick cliffnotes of the Michigan rebuttal, the entire thing is fucking bullshit for the simple fact that they are pretending publicly available pictures and videos of Stalions on the sidelines of games doesn’t exist because they weren’t included as attachments in the emailed allegations from the Big Ten and were merely described in writing, so golly gee wiz, we simply can’t determine the validity of these accusations.

That’s it. If someone wants to talk about this letter with you, the whole thing is bullshit for that and that alone (but there are also a bunch of other reasons, too).