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2010 TSUN News (in-season)

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-= HELP WANTED =-

Major D1A/FBS football program in need of defensive backs. Candidates must show ability to run step for step with opposing wide receivers, throw hands up helplessly when WR turns head around, and fold arms across chest like you 'meant to do that' should you dumb-luck your way into a PBU.

If you own a jock strap and cleats, your application cannot be denied. In fact, you may start this Saturday.

Call 1-888-DICKROD for further details.
 
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FIXED:

-= HELP WANTED =-

Former Major D1A/FBS football program in need of defensive backs. Candidates must show ability to run. Walking is acceptable too, but we'd really prefer running. Must possess ability to throw hands up helplessly when WR turns head around and fold arms across chest like you 'meant to do that' should you dumb-luck your way into a PBU. PBU means "pass break up" and we do not require candidates to know that.

If you own a jock strap and cleats, your application cannot be denied. In fact, you may start this Saturday.

Call 1-888-DICKROD for further details. Actually, don't call. Just come ready to practice today. Or tomorrow. Or, don't bother practicing if that's too much. Just show up on Saturday and ask for a uniform. You're in.
 
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You guys are missing the whole point. This is to get DickRod and company ready for the BCS championship game next year. This year they are only going to be 11-1 and just miss out. Shoelaceless will also likely win the Heisman a couple of times between now and then.:oh:
 
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Buckeyeskickbuttocks;1764158; said:
FIXED:

-= HELP WANTED =-

Former Major D1A/FBS football program in need of defensive backs. Candidates must show ability to run. Walking is acceptable too, but we'd really prefer running. Must possess ability to throw hands up helplessly when WR turns head around and fold arms across chest like you 'meant to do that' should you dumb-luck your way into a PBU. PBU means "pass break up" and we do not require candidates to know that.

If you own a jock strap and cleats, your application cannot be denied. In fact, you may start this Saturday.

Call 1-888-DICKROD for further details. Actually, don't call. Just come ready to practice today. Or tomorrow. Or, don't bother practicing if that's too much. Just show up on Saturday and ask for a uniform. You're in.
Click to expand...

Actually, it's much tougher than that. Candidates must also be able to major in kinesiology. The entrance exam is the ability to point to all body parts cited in the kids' song "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes." Demar--you already failed this test. Stop trying--we can't use you.

In addition, a lack of knowledge as to the NCAA's rules on practice time is a plus.
 
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WolverineMike;1764247; said:
not really. Now he's going to transfer and sit out a whole year before he can do anything? Maybe something going on in his personal life. It's a shame though. 4* recruit and all.
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It's a shame that DickRod can't develop a 4 star DB into a starter on a team that only has 5 or 6 true DBs
 
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WolverineMike;1764235; said:
I'll be curious to hear as to why Vlad is transferring. Yeah, freshmen were starting over him but he was seriously one injury away from being a regular player. Doesn't make any sense.
Click to expand...

He wasn't all in. Fat, lazy, etc. Probably had a cloak on too.

Or, it could've been the humidity.
 
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