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I think some of us have gotten by the Crusades and everything else. What if God is really the God of us all and not just a certain group. Ooops lost my mind there.
I see your point--a monkey is a beard all over. Perhaps you could have gone for the non beard beard. Shaved a beard onto the monkey. I'm no beard expert though.
I just remember it being really rubbery/chewy and moving around in my mouth, there wasn't much of a taste because they just pulled it out of the water. There wasn't much of an aftertaste, just after sensation. Ahhhhhh!!