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August 15. 2006 6:59AM
A fuzzy snapshot of Holtz
COMMENTARY
JASON KELLY
Tribune Columnist
With the benefit of hindsight, Lou Holtz knows now what he should have done.
He should have replaced his father with a professional wedding photographer.
Because he did not, only a guest's grainy Polaroid survives, reprinted in Holtz's new autobiography "Wins, Losses and Lessons". The fuzzy photo itself represents one of the lessons of the title.
"It is a constant reminder that it's important to be truthful with yourself and with others no matter whose feelings you might offend," Holtz writes. "If you want the best from others, you have to hire the best people, define what it is you want from them, and come to a common agreement on the terms and conditions of your relationship."
In other words, if the situation requires it, fire Dad.
Even if his wedding pictures weren't, the man's focused. On performance. On results.
His message in the book becomes a little blurry at times in a rush to pin the moral on the story.
Woody Hayes wanted to hire Holtz as an assistant at Ohio State, an honor for a young coach without much of a resume yet. Colleagues warned him not to accept. A similar offer from Georgia Tech included more perks, not the least of which would be avoiding Hayes, who Holtz's boss at the time called "a certifiable lunatic."
Holtz had Ohio in his heart after spending his formative years in East Liverpool, and Hayes assistant Tiger Ellison told him not to worry. "He's tough, demanding and aggressive, but overall he's a good guy," Ellison said. "He's also a great leader."
During Holtz's first staff meeting, Hayes and another assistant had to be restrained from fighting each other. To vent over some other infuriating matter in the same meeting, Hayes tossed a film projector through a glass door.
When Holtz saw Ellison in the hall afterward, the new guy wondered about that "great leader" recommendation. "Hey, Attila the Hun was a great leader," Ellison said. "Doesn't mean you'd have him over for dinner." That particular comparison didn't come up in their first conversation about Hayes.
Holtz, of course, goes on to lionize the Columbus legend. His compliments read like comments on a movie poster. Hayes was "exceptionally smart and well read" ... "a brilliant tactician" ... and "many of his tantrums were calculated to make a point."
That distilled description of Hayes provides the transition from Attila the Hun to this: "Today, I believe that next to Father Theodore Hesburgh, president of Notre Dame for thirty-five years," Holtz writes, "Coach Hayes was the most remarkable person I've ever known."
From Attila the Hun to Fr. Ted in two paragraphs, Hayes goes through the fastest character rehab in literary history.
After one volatile, national championship season at Ohio State, Holtz started along his own head coaching path, which reached its apex 20 years later at Notre Dame.
Already billed as the Great Turnaround Artist in the college football circus before he arrived in South Bend, the Irish reclamation project became his big top showcase.
Building to a championship crescendo in 1988 and sustaining that for one of the most successful eras in Notre Dame football history weighed on him.
"Once you win the championship, now they expect perfection every time," Holtz said in a telephone interview. "And you can't do it. That's what wears on you."
That and the admissions department.
Holtz first skirmished and then established radio silence with Kevin Rooney, the admissions director for all of Holtz's tenure. "During that time, he and I had many disagreements, so many in fact that I didn't talk to him the last eight years I was at Notre Dame," Holtz writes.
If not exactly insubordination, that conflict contradicts the respect for authority Holtz describes more than once as the most important lesson a child can learn.
Rev. Edmund P. Joyce had told Holtz before he accepted the job that "the head football coach has nothing to do with admissions." More than accepting the strict terms, Holtz said, "I looked forward to working in an environment where the rules were that clear and nonnegotiable."
One innocent, if presumptuous comment from Holtz tested that chain of command. Holtz told coveted quarterback Tony Rice he would be accepted, but the admissions department didn't see it that way.
Joyce "lectured me ... about my role within the university system" before arranging a compromise. Notre Dame admitted Rice, but he could have no connection to the football program his freshman year.
"Coach, I just want you to know one thing," Joyce says as stern punctuation to the episode, "this will never, ever happen again."
At least in public, Holtz didn't dispute that policy, but now he calls the system as he experienced it "admissions madness" -- and that old wheel of institutional football politics goes round and round.
Bottom line: Holtz found a way to win with whatever he had, wherever he went. Any complaints about restrictions, especially after embracing them in theory, have a tinny ring.
Combine his coaching success with his comic-motivational flair and Holtz became an icon big enough for corporations to covet his stirring presence.
Without the disarming lisp, the booming inflection and the perfect timing, his words don't have the same compelling power in print as they do in person.
The funniest line comes from, of all people, Bob Davie. In the wake of Holtz's resignation from Notre Dame, Davie offers to tap his connections at Maryland to help the outgoing coach land the vacant job there.
"I laughed out loud," Holtz writes, because he never intended to coach again.
Readers laugh because that's like a Dean Martin impersonator telling the real Frank Sinatra he could put in a good word for him with the promoters in Branson.