ORD_Buckeye
Wrong glass, Sir.
So, since I'm stuck in Iowa rather than flying home right now because some mental fucking defect decided to set the FAA computer server farm on fire this morning, you'll have to indulge my little history lesson.
Juggalo State likes to boast that they precede Ohio State. That is simply not true, for the messy circumstances of their founding are much more embarrassing. The historical reality is that UC's founding was the result of a political compromise made in order to both found Ohio State and to block it from being located in Springfield, which was being pushed by ag interests. To accomplish this, Governor Hayes needed the support of the Cincinnati political delegation in the statehouse. To secure that, he allowed an ancillary provision in the bill stipulating that any city over 150K in population (only Cincy at the time) could establish a municipal university. The juggalo elders then combined several little irrelevant private colleges into what would become UC and endowed it with an unused fund they had been sitting on. UC likes to use the founding date of the oldest of those early colleges as its founding date. That, however, is highly misleading, for the modern University of Cincinnati was founded as an afterthought and rather grubby bit of political payoff in the bill that founded Ohio State.
At the end of the day, they are the sloppy afterbirth to the glorious birth of The Ohio State University. They are the Danny Devito to our Arnold. And like the reprobate incompetent that they are, they eventually fell on hard times and bankruptcy at which point they came crawling to us to take them and pay off their debts.
They owe us everything: their founding, their eventual salvation and their continued existence.
Juggalo State likes to boast that they precede Ohio State. That is simply not true, for the messy circumstances of their founding are much more embarrassing. The historical reality is that UC's founding was the result of a political compromise made in order to both found Ohio State and to block it from being located in Springfield, which was being pushed by ag interests. To accomplish this, Governor Hayes needed the support of the Cincinnati political delegation in the statehouse. To secure that, he allowed an ancillary provision in the bill stipulating that any city over 150K in population (only Cincy at the time) could establish a municipal university. The juggalo elders then combined several little irrelevant private colleges into what would become UC and endowed it with an unused fund they had been sitting on. UC likes to use the founding date of the oldest of those early colleges as its founding date. That, however, is highly misleading, for the modern University of Cincinnati was founded as an afterthought and rather grubby bit of political payoff in the bill that founded Ohio State.
At the end of the day, they are the sloppy afterbirth to the glorious birth of The Ohio State University. They are the Danny Devito to our Arnold. And like the reprobate incompetent that they are, they eventually fell on hard times and bankruptcy at which point they came crawling to us to take them and pay off their debts.
They owe us everything: their founding, their eventual salvation and their continued existence.
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