Things you NEVER say to a cop who pulls you over...

[JoJaBuckeye]

C'mon...we've all seen the lists. Make up your own.

"Here's my license, ma'am...er...sir. Sorry...the man-titties threw me off."

"Fire? Where? Let's go!"

"Oh don't pull my leg...she can't be your 14-year-old daughter!"

"Look...you didn't hear this from me. But Krispy Kreme is givin 'em away for the next 10 minutes..."

Lady: "Suppose I submit to a cavity search?"

"Is that your best Barney Fife imitation?"

"Is it too late to donate to the Officer's Benevolence Fund?"

 

[OCBucksFan]

Sorry about the swerving, I was trying to clean up the bong water I spilled on the seat.

 

[Thump]

"Do you smell bacon"?

 

[Buckeyeskickbuttocks]

Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
BKB: (in 30's ganster voice) 'Cuz I'm black, see.

I'm not black.

 

[BB73]

"Tic tac, sir?"

 

[Buckeyeskickbuttocks]

Yo, Mr. Officer... 'splain me this...if you're not allowed to break a law to enforce a law, how the fuck did you ever catch up to me?

 

[iambrutus]

nice shoes wanna fuck

 

[BB73]

"From where I'm sitting I can't see the porn video on that screen."

 

[BB73]

"Hold on for a minute - I need to take this call"

 

[Buckeyeskickbuttocks]

"damn, man... you smell like french fries."

 

[Dryden]

"You're not going to search my car, are you?"

 

[DGADBTWSOM]

Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
BKB: (in 30's ganster voice) 'Cuz I'm black, see.

I'm not black.

I little quicker on the draw than me on that one.

 

[BuckeyeRyn]

BKB, you stole DGAD's line......

it had me laughing regardless though!

 

[JoJaBuckeye]

Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
BKB: (in 30's ganster voice) 'Cuz I'm black, see.

I'm not black.

Reminds me of the Denzel Washington line: "Any two'll do?"

(To a cop who said they had reports of two black suspects in a certain car...forget which movie...)

 

[iambrutus]

the classic - i pay your salary

said really fast - pussycopsayswhat?

said in a femine voice - wanna frisk me?

i could kick your ass