• Follow us on Twitter @buckeyeplanet and @bp_recruiting, like us on Facebook! Enjoy a post or article, recommend it to others! BP is only as strong as its community, and we only promote by word of mouth, so share away!
  • Consider registering! Fewer and higher quality ads, no emails you don't want, access to all the forums, download game torrents, private messages, polls, Sportsbook, etc. Even if you just want to lurk, there are a lot of good reasons to register!

Stupid off Season Game Restart

Man, I totally forgot about this thread. No offense intended.

Anywho ...

1. Batmobile. All three cars are OK but the batmobile is an original. Anyone can take a TransAm and create "Kit". How hard is it to find and old Charger and make a reasonable fascimile of the General Lee. In fact you'd have to make dozens of them because of how often they were crashed. But the Batmobile ... HTF do you go about making one of those?

2. This category sucks ... 3 losers. I'll go with Hasselhoff. Hate him, but saw him at the airport one time (leaving VEGAS) and the girl on his arm was HOT. Only HOT doesn't even begin to do her justice ... whatever, you get my drift. Anyway, I didn't even realize it was Hasselhoff. Just checked to see who the dork was that she was with ... surprise, surprise.

3. Ax. Is there even a question? Quick, name one major battle fought by the Swiss Army ... uh huh. Sure their knife is functional, but it isn't cool. Skillet? Come on, women use skillets. Men eat stuff that women cook on skillets. Hum, the skillet is starting to sound better. Oh, well. they're still not cool. Axes are cool. Just the name is cool ... AX. An ax would CRUSH that swiss army knife and kill some poor animal to be cooked in the skillet ... nuf said.

4. Katie Couric. Cute, sexy and would probably kick the crap out of the others.
 
Upvote 0
1. The Batmobile. Only car cooler than that was the Munstermobile. Kit from Knightrider was sort of cool because even though it was just a Trans Am with a cheap-assed light kit in the front, it could talk. The Robert E. Lee was nothing but a piece of shit Dodge driven by in-bred hillbillies, i.e., Tennessee fans (check out the puke orange color of the car).

2. Jose Canseco. David Halfassoff was never cool. At least Don Johnson started a nation-wide fashion craze and could almost sing (almost). Canseco could crush the ball, made tons of cash, and had more poontang after him than Halfassoff and Johnson put together.

3. Swiss Army Knife. As a retired military dude, I can attest to the coolness and usefulness of the SAK. It has a bottle opener, so right there it's cool on that alone. Try opening a bottle of Kirin Lager with an axe or a frying pan.

4. Paula Zahn. She's hot (for a white woman) and doesn't have an attitude (and looks like she could suck-launch the Space Shuttle). Katie Curic is a stuck up prim little beyatch. Diane Sawyer looked good...about 20 years ago.
 
Upvote 0
1) Kit
2) Canseco- because he run's a 4.4 forty and lives in Miami(Florida speed)
3) Swiss Army Knife
4)Paula Zahn


First, I fight Canseco for the right to 'drive a loved one home' with Paula Zahn. I grab my 2.75" blade in position 1 from my Swiss Army knife, stick him a couple of times and he uses that 4.4 speed to run away.

Next, I grab Paula , put her in the Trans-Am and head to the stadium parking lot(you can never get there early enough).

I then use the cork screw to open a bottle of Vino for her, and the bottle opener to open up a Guinness for myself.

After I get her almost undressed, I run into a pesky bra strap. That problem is quickly solved by using the mini scissors in position 4(not pictured).

After I shag PZ, she has the nerve to ask for the only ticket I have to the scUM game at the 'Shoe. Calmly, I tell her its in the glove compartment, so she climbs up front, and I proceed to hit the eject button on the passenger seat.

After a little pedicure with the file from position 5 , I go into the stadium.

As i'm walking up the steps to my seat, I realize my pants are slipping from Paula Zahn breaking my belt hole. Not to worry, as I punch out a new hole in the belt using that very useful punch from position 5.

Buckeyes win 20-0 and Head to the Orange Bowl-------and WIN.

Katie is ok, but I have this little rule about woman that have bigger gums than teeth.
:oh: :io:
 
Upvote 0
Back
Top